Give me back my cat!!

[ConnieHeart]

Our ginger girl cat is an absolute sweetheart but doesn't have much loyalty to us. Many times over the years she's disappeared for days on end, occasionally popping back home for a snooze then she's off again.

For the past week or so she's repeated this pattern & we suspect someone else is feeding her as she's not eating when she does bother to grace us with her presence. Last year when she disappeared I put notes through all the houses near us & a lady rang me to say she sees her frequently in her garden & she tries to come in her house but apparently she doesn't let her.

After missing since Saturday, dd2 & I popped round to the lady's house to ask if she'd seen her. No reply at the house but lo and behold, who should peek out through the blinds at the window but our little monkey!!

So I'm going to go round again tomorrow and have a gentle word with the lady or leave her a note if she's not in. Our cat has no doubt made herself at home but she should not be encouraging her!

I don't quite know where you got that the cat is always trying to get into her house? I didn't say that and that's not the case

It’s in your OP…

’she sees her frequently in her garden & she tries to come in her house’

No, that was last year & i only said the lady frequently saw her in her garden

You didn’t only say that you said exactly as I quoted. I don’t know why you are so keen to accuse a woman of stealing your cat when your cat is already home and the woman did indeed tell you the cat was frequently in her garden and trying to go in her house. You seem to want to backpedal here. Even if it was last year that doesn’t mean your cat stopped going to her garden and it certainly doesn’t mean she stole your cat this week. You were far too fast to accuse a woman who did nothing last year but not let your cat in her house and contact you to tell you the cat was in her garden a lot when you were looking for it.

Given that OP has said that she saw her cat inside this person’s house while that person wasn’t even in, I find it weird that some posters are saying she is being unreasonable. I’d be fucking livid if someone did that with my cat. Why shut someone else’s cat in your house when you go out? It looks very much like theft by stealth.

I’m saying it might have been accidental and they she should not be accusing the woman of stealing her cat. a cat that has a history of trying to get into said house, it’s not hard to imagine that just one time it managed to do so as the woman was going out.

This just isn’t black and white, as much as people want to accuse neighbours of “stealing” cats.

If someone actively goes into your house or garden, picks up the cat and takes it home, and keeps it indoors, then, and only then, have they stolen it.

If, however, you allow your cat to roam wherever they want, and that cat chooses to wander into someone’s house, and that person feeds it, then it’s fair game. The cat obviously wanted to live there, it’s on their property, they are free to feed it or not feed it.

You can’t decide that your cat has the right to wander wherever it wants, including into neighbours houses and gardens, and then start claiming “property” when the cat decides to stay away and the neighbour is happy to feed it.

If you don’t want your cats moving in with the neighbours then keep them indoors.

One of the risks of cat ownership is that because cats are independent and have 0 loyalty, they may not actually wish to be owned by you and given you give them free will to wander as they choose, that free will includes choosing to move in with the neighbours.

The neighbours don’t owe it to you to exclude the cats which you’ve allowed in their house in the first place. And neither do they have any obligation to stop your cats going on to and into their property.

We have 2 cats. A tabby and a grey cat. This cat is sleeping in our kitchen. This is not our cat! He lives next door but is never out of our house. We put him out the door and he comes back in the window! He helps himself to food and uses our litter tray. We can’t stop him! No one stops a cat doing what they want!

Or maybe a window was open and it got in. Either way, given the OP is happy for her cat to go wherever it wants, if it’s chosen to go into someone else’s house then that’s the cat’s choice. And given it’s on her property, it’s the neighbour’s choice to feed it if she wants to.

Feeding someone else’s cat is completely out of order. What if it’s on a special diet for a medical condition? More importantly, it amounts to theft by stealth. Making a fuss of a neighbour’s cat if it wanders into your garden is fine, I’ve done it enough times. Feeding it crosses a line.

I lived next door to the best cat I've ever met. He often mysteriously appeared in the house when all doors and windows had been shut for hours. He snuck in when I went to the bin or hung washing out then took himself up to bed😁
I loved him, I was sad when we moved.

And when he couldn't sneak in he'd sit on the bin shed and stare through the kitchen window until we gave in and opened the back door.
Never fed him once.

My cat did this as the 'caring neighbour' was feeding her wet food treating her as a stray. I went bonkers when I found out. She was much nearer a busy road than I was - she used to feed pigeons and foxes - these folk are full of 'kindness' but don't use their brains.

Have been on the receiving end, elderly neighbour tried to nick our cat , she had one she pinched, and her own cat she kept on a lead. Moved 18 year old son of neighbours tried to take her. DD had a beautiful pedigree, she was walking to her house one day,boy around 10,piped up "that's where the cat lived dad",dad told him to shut up! DD was moving,cat kept disappearing, she kept him in, I collected him,so we could keep him for her (she was moving quite a way and had no car) he was so ill she thought he was being poisoned,cost her thousands. When I collected him, his fur (he was very long haired) had been cut off in lumps, the rest was baked on dried faeces. Vet reckons they kept him in,fed him rubbish,he couldn't get out to toilet and they cut off the fur. My neighbour now, attempted to pinch 3 different cats,(she would keep them indoors,fed them, but not willing to pay vet bills,workers etc. was really angry when the various owners stormed round. She finally got her own. She did take the last one to a vet, and when she was asked if it was hers,as soon as there was a bill to pay, she claimed she found it!

If you don’t want your cat to go into other people’s houses don’t let her out. Simple!

No, you shouldn't feed someone else's pet without permission. As for being happy for her to go where she wants, she's a flipping cat for God's sake! She absolutely loves being outside and exploring and there is no way you can stop a cat from exploring!

Oh don’t be so stupid. The cat probably snuck in without the woman realising. If a window is open then a cat can easily sneak in. It’s not the neighbours fault if the owner has no control over her cat.

There are so many cats in rescue centres desperately seeking a home. Why on earth if people want a cat don't they just go and get their own cat and not try to entice other peoples cats into their home. I have a crazy cat lady living near to me who has 6 cats of her own yet still feels the need to shake cat treats boxes late at night and cats hear the rattle and flock to her.

If the cat is on a “special diet” then the OP needs to keep the cat indoors.

Plenty of people have cat flaps, open windows, ways for cats to get into their houses and eat their own cats’ food and other food while they’re not home.

You don’t need someone else to be deliberately feeding a cat for it to be exposed to the wrong food if it genuinely has a special diet.

If it has a special diet, so much so that it can’t eat anything but that diet then it needs to be a house cat. And any vet would tell you the same.

After all cats eat mice, birds, frogs and insects when they’re out, it doesn’t have to be the neighbour’s cat food.

But funny how people trot out the old “special diet” excuse to tell other people how they should behave towards the cats they themselves should be responsible for.

As I said before, you can't control a cat. I find it hysterical that anyone would think you can

The lady in question doesn't have a cat. So if she is feeding my cat, she is deliberately doing so

We had a local neighbourhood cat many years ago. She actually lived next door but one to us but 'visited' many different houses including ours. We never fed her, only put water out for her once on a hot day. We found her once in next door's utility room when feeding their cats when they were away - she had just let herself in their cat flap and was eating their cat's food. I also found her in our airing cupboard once when I had been in and out of the garden to the clothes line etc. Another time the neighbour she belonged to came to our door late at night looking for her and we searched and found her on top of the wardrobe in my son's bedroom. On none of these occasions did anyone 'kidnap' the cat or even invite her in, she was very good at inviting herself!

Theres a cat that seems to live in my DSs house. Come spring, his bifold doors are open, and she comes and goes. He loves that cat! But he doesnt feed her. No treats, no food, no scraps.

The cat chooses where she wants to be.

@measuringtaep agree - but it’s just the typical MN histrionics

But you don't know that she is! You only know that your cat was having a look at you from the inside of her house 😁