Please tell me you also have cats that completely fail at catting 🙀

[YelramBob]

How many cats does it take to catch a pigeon? Answers on a postcard please before I post pictures....

DCat 1 failed again at catting today! He was stalking a rat in the garden. He pounced, and may have got a paw on it - but it ran off! Last time, he caught a rat, he was shaking it by the neck to try to kill it….and it got away! Useless!

DCat 2, a female and much better hunter, was snoozing upstairs on our bed. It’s less than 25 degrees C outside today, so much too COLD for her to go outside! Useless!

Old Siamese/Main Coon cross would bring in frogs and birds up to Wood Pigeon size regularly and disembowel them on the lawn.

Our female Ragdoll/Main Coon cross catches anything she can get her paws on, if she could catch a pigeon she would kill it. If we had a cat flap there would be many a squelchy present to step on in the morning.

Boy Ragdoll would lie down in front of it, roll over and then get confused that it didn't stroke his tummy. He has no hunting or survival instincts whatsoever, regularly lies in the (luckily very quiet) road in front of cars until the driver gets out to stroke him.

Boxer dog would try to catch it but if it flew at her would run away with her tail between her legs. She does dig up and eat worms though 🤷

There is an alarming cat at the top of my road. Entirely battle hardened, missing the tip
of one ear, roughly the same size as my corgi.

caught an adult seagull and was dismembering it in the middle of the road…did not move as I drove towards it…so I gave up and reversed about 300ft till I could turn round!

One of my previous cats, years ago, was making his way up the garden towards me. He didn’t seem to clock that, behind him, was mummy and three juvenile pheasants. As he reached the patio he looked over his shoulder and then launched himself through the back door. It’s still one of the funniest videos I’ve got of him. And the pheasants made me think of rather dim velociraptors 😹. Still miss my old boy.

Dcat only attempts to catch birds and small mammals on the TV screen. The only time I saw her go after a live mouse, she stopped in mid run to adjust her fur.

Never mind all this feline stuff . Can we just pause in admiration of that ballsy pigeon 🐦.

Mine knows better than to bring any of her kills in. She has a thing for robins.

She looks like she might be a Bengal cross, but she was a stray so I will never know. I had someone come to the house who has two Bengal crosses and apparently hers have a thing for robins too.

But she is not always great at 'pussing'. I have a fairly new sofa, it is a chesterfield and she likes to sleep on the arm (she did this on my previous sofa) but then she rolls off.

Mine was chasing a squirrel yesterday having a great time until said squirrel stopped. DCat panicked and fled.

All the birds who frequent our back yard are very wary and never land on the ground. We get lots of taunting from the fence, back yard and occasionally a chair but never any face to face confrontations.
Cat Two hunts lizards, mice and rats then brings them into the house for Cat One and Three to play with. Once she got hold of a rat the same size as her by the neck, but luckily it got away.
No fly or moth escapes from Cat Four but so far nothing larger than that has caught her interest.

I’m not sure that pigeon is brave: perhaps rather not clued up as to what cats normally do?
Then again, maybe it’s a feminist pigeon and has had enough of all this shit, thank you very much. It might be wearing a tiny “What would Valerie do?” T shirt we cannot see.

Slightly relieved I'm not the only one with useless cats 😹

@Nofeckingway @learieonthewildmoor I was a little concerned about the pigeon as it just stood there for a while, surrounded by cats. All its pigeon mates were around but none of them swooped in to save it, I reckon it was the dumbest one with no 'fight or flight' instinct and its mates were looking on and laughing 🤨