Can someone reassure me this is normal

[Allthegoodhorses]

Morning, it’s a bit of a saga but I acquired a cat on Sunday. He’s about a year old, neutered a month ago and was living in a very chaotic situation.

We ‘rescued’ him and he’s now in my house. Currently he is in a quiet part of the house in an igloo bed inside a dog crate (dog crate was used for transportation purposes as it was easier to lift him inside the igloo into crate than put him in a cat basket). The crate is open and he has water, food, a litter tray (further from the food).

He has not moved. There looks like no sign of him using litter tray or eating or drinking.

I have googled and apparently this is normal. We have not tried to interact too much with him as advice I’ve read he’s in frozen survival mode and have to let him decide when it’s safe to come out.

But can anyone offer any more advice or reassure me this is normal. I’m starting to get concerned and not sure of next steps.

There's a whole social media trope of dad's who didn't want the cat and end up totally doting on it!

Hi all, I thought I’d provide a little update.

Firstly, I’ve realised his name is Gandalf, not Gandalph. His short names are Alfie and Gan Gan 🙂

There haven’t been any massive strides forward, but there has definitely been progress. He’s now spending time in the lounge, and I’ve bought him a scratching post, a few toys, and of course his igloo bed. He hasn’t taken to using the bed yet and prefers to hide under the cupboard or behind the sofa.

The good news is that he’s eating really well, using the litter tray religiously, and drinking plenty of water, so all is good on that front.

Over the last couple of days, he’s started to emerge more. Instead of instantly slinking off when he sees me, he’s been staying in the room while I’m there without hiding, which feels like a positive step.

I realise it is nearly two weeks since he arrived so of course early days but he is definitely getting a bit braver everyday and I have just spent time with him in the evenings, reading, watching TV and chatting to him. I think doing this has given him some more confidence.

Thats great news. In 6 months those days of hiding will be a distant memory.

He's doing really well - that's great progress for two weeks!

Thank you for the confidence boost this is normal. I’m used to horses and dogs which seem easier to win round. Although my dog I got at 8 weeks and she never had trauma and my horses have always just arrived in various states of rescue or paid for and had a fund for life.

*home for life

Thanks for the update Op, that sounds like wonderful progress given his difficult start, you’re doing all the right things !

I remember progress seems painfully slow whilst you’re living through it, I used to try and focus on any little improvements since the previous week to reassure myself that things really were moving forward positively. As mentioned it took me 5 weeks to settle our current cat, and she started from a very much better place than Gandalf. It was so stressful knowing she wasn’t happy, and hard to believe the day would come when I could look at her and see she was truly relaxed. But it did, and it will for you too ! Best of luck, can we have another pic of the lovely Gandalf so we can see a bit more of him ❤️

That's actually huge progress!!

I’ll try to get a photo soon. It really does feel like four steps forward and one step back.

I popped in to see him about an hour ago and he was behind the sofa, where he has a flat bed. He moves between behind the sofa, behind a chair, and under the cupboard. At that point he was fine, just sitting on his bed. I said hi and chatted for a bit.

Just now, I went back in to take a photo and he was behind the chair. When I crouched down, he hissed and made a low growling noise, so I backed off and left him alone.

He definitely needs to decide when he’s ready to come out and say hi, so I’ll try not to overwhelm him.

Oh you are so sympathetic to his needs😻, I hope you are his favourite human once he gains confidence, you certainly deserve it @Allthegoodhorses 💐

My husband just went into the lounge and Gandalf brave enough to sit on a chair with him.

Yay! I took a year to get a feral cat from living under a rotting caravan starving to death to me being able to wear her like a scarf. It was intense. There was effort made every hour but we love each other for ever and ever now. She's still scared of other people but she has a home for life now and is round and shiny.

He’s gorgeous! And he’s making an effort! 😻

Hurray ! He looks gorgeous, and pretty chilled. That’s wonderful news, thanks for sharing with us !

How lovely. He's beautiful!

Oh he's lovely 😍

Morning all, we have had Gandalf 4 weeks today and I thought a little update would be good. He’s starting to come out regularly now and on Friday night came out and sat on the chair whilst I was on the sofa.

Last night however was another breakthrough. He came and sat on the sofa with my husband. He started to try and paw my husbands hand. He’s very sweet.

Awww bless him

Wow that’s fantastic news ! That’s a lot of progress for four weeks, given his difficult start !

Here’s how I persuaded my cat to sit next to me after 5 weeks of her being shy and aloof. I had a cat game on my iPad (Mouse for cats) and she’d come nearer me on the sofa to watch it. I’d then show it to her whilst sat in my chair and she’d jump up and sit close next to me to watch. Then I put it on the table next to me and she sat on my knee whilst it was playing. Within days she was settling on my knee regardless and she’s been a lap cat ever since ! Not all cats can ‘see’ a screen, my cat is good at it and also enjoys YouTube videos (of mice, birds) for cats ! I guess it will be a while before you can risk Gandalf going outside so it might be entertainment for him anyway, now he’s feeling more relaxed. I hope you keep us updated, it’s been lovely to hear of his great progress !

@CatLovesMeBest thats such a good idea! I’m going to give it a go. You are right he won’t be going out for quite sometime.

We are very lucky where we live as it’s a rural village in Dorset. We have a large garden that is fenced and walled all round. I know this won’t necessarily deter a cat but it is secure (it was secure for our dog). We have very little traffic and the traffic is slow so by the time he goes out he should hopefully be very safe.

Thank you for all your advice. And thank you to everyone else for the advice.

His ears matches the sofa!

Photo of him on sofa tonight

He's beautiful! What a wonderful outcome from his previous situation. So kind of you, OP. 🤍🤍

Thank you all.

I have another question - he has started to miaow, he has been quite vocal this morning and I don't know why. Is he distressed or just saying Hi?

He is still in the lounge, although we have started leaving the door open for periods of time so he has more access to what is going on in the house, a few times when no one watching he has ventured out. He is not slinking away hurriedly when we go in the room. Miles braver but he has started to miaow. Is this normal?

I have checked and he has water, eaten breakfast, has dry food readily available and his litter tray cleaned. Not sure if he is trying to tell me something... (sorry if I sound mad).

Some cats are just chatty. After they get over the scared hiding stage is when you'll see their real personality emerge, so it could just be the kind of cat he is.

Or he's complaining about something or asking for more food or asking where everyone is - could be lots of things he means. You'll understand his ways better with time.

But a cat in pain or distress won't be meowing about it. Then he'd be more likely to hide and be very still and quiet, so I wouldn't worry!