Can someone reassure me this is normal

[Allthegoodhorses]

Morning, it’s a bit of a saga but I acquired a cat on Sunday. He’s about a year old, neutered a month ago and was living in a very chaotic situation.

We ‘rescued’ him and he’s now in my house. Currently he is in a quiet part of the house in an igloo bed inside a dog crate (dog crate was used for transportation purposes as it was easier to lift him inside the igloo into crate than put him in a cat basket). The crate is open and he has water, food, a litter tray (further from the food).

He has not moved. There looks like no sign of him using litter tray or eating or drinking.

I have googled and apparently this is normal. We have not tried to interact too much with him as advice I’ve read he’s in frozen survival mode and have to let him decide when it’s safe to come out.

But can anyone offer any more advice or reassure me this is normal. I’m starting to get concerned and not sure of next steps.

Lovely thread by the way - I love hearing about rescue cats coming out of their shells and Gandalf is doing so well it seems! He's a lucky cat.

It could be that now he’s feeling safer in the lounge he needs to check out all his ‘territory’. He doesn’t feel the need to hide from you both any more but will still feel nervous about the rest of the house. So it could be a combination of being anxious, and using his voice to announce himself.

It’s tricky because it sounds like he may not be at the stage where he’ll follow you around … in which case you could give him tours of the house. Our cat would meow at us to take her around once she was brave enough, and she would insist on us opening every door to show her each room. This was repeatedly for days, we took it in turns 😂 In your case you could try following him around as he explores, if that’s possible. Although he’s not bonded with you fully, he may find your presence gives him more courage to look around.

It can take a while to understand what they want you to do, as it takes them a while to train you ! I agree with previous poster that a cat with a health problem is more likely to hide away and be unusually quiet.

Thank you all. It was not a desperate meow (sp not sure how to spell it) but sounded a bit forlorn, as if he wanted us. So we just chatted to him. I’m just not used to cats. Have had a dog and I have a pony snd a horse. I understand them better!

Cats are sensitive souls, if you're used to horses you'll be fine :)

With our rescues we initially shut them in a bedroom with all they needed. We had the window on nightlock and a radio on for a bit of company. We went in and out at intervals to chat to them. For about 24 hours they hid behind the bed They did eat, but it took a while for them to use the tray.
At night we opened their door and they had the run of the house to explore in the dark. We knew they were coming out. We left a cupcake out by accident and all the icing was licked off!
It does take time with cats. They do eventually come round.

I have one very chatty one and one less so! One meows exclusively when he’s hungry, gets fed like clock work and basically provides us an hours countdown to breakfast, lunch and dinner every day! I always know if he’s making a noise it’s hunger related.

The other one on the other hand, just likes to make a bloody racket 😂. He meows repeatedly for no apparent reason or for trivial things like “I can’t see you, where are you?!” at any time of day. He loves to be the centre of attention and basically just shouts for attention. He’s happiest if I chat back and forth with him. If I meow back, he has a variety of responses so sometimes we have a whole conversation in “cat”. Can’t tell you what about but he enjoys the interaction. Otherwise I simply amuse myself saying things like “meow twice if you’re a silly sausage” and see how many times he agrees to such ridiculous statements…..

There we go…. Now who’s mad 😂🤔🙈

I have a vocal cat. She was entirely silent in the rescue and for the first week I had her. After that the racket commenced. She sounds like a crow, seagull, foghorn as well as a pitiful kitten like miaow. She would walk around the ground floor in the evenings giving her full repertoire. I anxiously changed her litter, her food, her water, you name it. Eventually I realised it’s just the way she is, constantly announcing her presence.

That did make me smile. Conversations in cat..

Thank you all once again.

I've got two chatty cats and once you get to know them you realise that not only are their meows different from each others, they also use different meows for different things - greeting you, looking for company, asking to be petted, wanting fed and being stuck somewhere/wanting through a door. One of my cats when he is looking for company wanders round the house doing a loud meow that sounds a bit like he's saying hello - I'm pretty sure he's echoing the sound he hears us make when we come into the house. I'll shout hello back, he responds and this goes on until he tracks me down! I'm sure you'll soon become familiar with the different meows your cat makes, and he will probably find it reassuring if you talk back to him when he meows to you too.

Each picture of Gandalf is more relaxed than the previous one, it's so lovely to see! Have you managed to stroke him yet?
I think it's good he has found his voice, I look forward to hearing that he has started to purr 😻 😻 😻

Aw. He’s lovely.

Cat communication is varied! One of ours meows when she wants a fuss. The other mostly to tell us off (food delayed, we brought a stranger into her domain, that kind of thing). They are litter mates but very different personalities.

I agree. You can see he is settling in and seeing this as home. When I had a traumatised cat who at started sitting on chairs near me I put dreamies on the sofa near me and eventually my knees. That encouraged him to come closer.

I haven't managed to stroke him but I did offer him my hand last night and he sniffed it. I don't think he is quite there yet with regards stroking.

I am looking forward to hearing a report of him purring also 😁

That’s a good sign that he sniffed your hand Op rather than withdrawing. In case you’re not familiar with petting a cat who needs a bit of persuasion, just offering your hand is a great way to start, and if it hasn’t startled them, then gently pressing your hand to their side (their shoulder area) will hopefully encourage them to reciprocate and lean in. It’s equivalent to the way cats greet each other: a head butt to the other’s shoulder. If this is allowed then scratching around the ear and under the chin is usually irresistible. My cat doesn’t like head and face rubs unless she specifically asks for them 😄 Sorry if I’m teaching you how to suck eggs ! Gandalf is so beautiful, and photogenic, My cat is gorgeous, but being all black makes her very hard to get a good photo of.

Regarding photographing black cats, or 'voids', I saw this online and it made me chuckle, hope it does you, @CatLovesMeBest !

He’s lovely. I had a white cat too. Cats do miaow for no reason apart from the fact they’re just talking.

Wow @Pudmyboy ! What a face !! Don’t show it to sweet, innocent Gandalf Op 😂

Thank you for the advice re stroking him @CatLovesMeBest - I have very little experience of cats so this is great advice thank you. 🙏

😁

Ah you’re welcome Op, it’s a narrow line between being helpful and being over prescriptive and it’s hard to judge ! So I’ll risk another thought, he may be getting bored and depressed now he’s not putting all his energy into being fearful of you. So playing with him may help with bonding. Apart from the iPad stuff, you don’t need fancy toys to discover what sorts of things he likes. My current cat ignores expensive toys but loves the boxes they come in and any string attached ! A guaranteed winner in my opinion is putting a sheet of newspaper down, rolling up another into a long ‘stick’, then moving it under the sheet and occasionally letting it peep out of an edge. Another is scrunching up some paper into a ball, and flicking it around in front of him. If he likes you at a distance you can tie thread to the ‘scrunchie’ and drag it near him.

Thanks for your updates Op, Gandalf has quite a few people invested in his happiness now 😁

Thank you @CatLovesMeBest for all your great suggestions, they are most welcome. I tried with playing with him with a cat toy on a long stick but he just looked a bit bemused. He did however have a case of the zoomies (didn't realise cats did that) and charged round the chair a few times.

This morning I woke up and the bedroom door was open and I looked up into the hallway and saw a little white face. He then ran back to the lounge, but he is most certainly starting to explore the rest of the house when he feels safe to do so.

@Allthegoodhorses just wanted to check in and see what progress you have had with Gandalf, hopefully he is sleeping on your bed now.....

Hi @Pudmyboy and others, I do have a little update regards Gandalf.

Things are going well. He now allows me to stroke him and will push his face into my hand if I put it down. He is eating extremely well (3 meals a day plus biscuits). I have done a lot of research regards the food and have bought some better quality food than the supermarket brands. They have 60% meat content which is supposed to be better.

Originally he was hissing at me when I was putting food down. He did this up until a week ago. I googled (well chatgpt) and apparently this is resource guarding due to erratic feeding patterns in the past. Poor little scrap. But now he eats at regular times and if I am going out at feeding times I have bought two little timed containers which open up at the time you set so he still gets his food at the same time every day.

We did have a little set back. I started to let him explore the house more and he is now wondering into other rooms and coming into see me in the mornings whilst I have my cuppa in bed.

I let him have the run of the whole house one night and the upshot was he peed on my bed. Again, I went to Chatgpt and apparently this is an emotional response and very common after having a cat 6 weeks. It is something to do with the bed smelling strongly of me. This is what Chatgpt said: (I don't really like using Chatgpt but it has been soooo helpful!).

He’s in that in-between stage:
Not terrified anymore… but not fully secure either.
For a shy 1-year-old who’s only been with you 6 weeks, this is completely normal. Many anxious cats don’t fully settle for 3–6 months, sometimes longer.
The bed pee makes sense in this context — it was likely a moment of insecurity, not a behavioral problem.

So it appears that giving him the full run of the house was too soon at that stage and he felt overwhelmed and anxious. I have now closed off the bedrooms etc.

But all in all it looks like we are getting on ok. My husband actually had to go away for 6 weeks so it is just me and Gandalf at the moment but hopefully my husband when he comes back doesn't set him backwards.

Ah thanks for your update, it sound like he’s really doing well given his difficult start. It’s wonderful he’s letting you stroke him, the best comfort for him is physical contact with someone he trusts. It’s hard to judge how much space to expose them to and when. They can seem very confident and then get really thrown back if you give access to another room. In their eyes, it’s a whole new area of territory they’ve got to check out and keep secure. Even after two yrs I don’t give our cat the run of the whole house at night, or if we’re out. She enjoys it when we’re around, but on her own I think it would really disturb her. So she just has the living room and kitchen at night. You’re doing really well and I’m sure he appreciates it !!!

Oh bless him! You are doing so well with him! One of my boys took nearly a year to fully relax, we were still seeing his confidence grow, months in!

Both my two were strays with food anxiety (hissing and growling around food, VERY demanding in the hour before a meal) and we manage it with militant meal times. We have timed feeders to make sure they get fed at the exact same time if we’re not in. It seems to help- they’re still very loud between 4.30 and 5.30 but clearly know what is truly dinner time as if we’re even five minutes late they absolutely ramp it up! But the scheduling has stopped things like the scoffing it down and then barfing it up minutes later….