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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

the ongoing saga ... cats keep getting nobbled when out! How do I talk to neighbours?

71 replies

SorePawBoy · 03/11/2025 09:14

I've posted on here a few times over the last three weeks because our two young cats seem to be falling foul of local thug-cats. First, the bigger boy came in with a large roll of skin flapping on his back paw. TBH it didn't look like a bite (shallow, no puncture, quite clean edges) but given what's happened since I'm now wondering if it was a very sharp claw tear.

We took him to the vet, kept him in nearly two weeks to give paw a chance to heal. That was about £260 all in but more importantly, he was depressed at being indoors and desperate to get outside! Windows etc couldn't be opened during that time as he forces them.

Two days after we let Big Cat out, Small Cat comes back in with a very sore and limp tail. Sad They are brothers/littermates but Small Cat is about 2.5 kg lighter and tiny! For a while we worried his tail was broken and would have to go, but fortunately, once the vet had sedated him to have a look/x-ray, it was found to be a deep bite and he went on antibiotics and loxicom for the pain/swelling. It abscessed initially and I had to poultice it to get the pus out. Small Cat is still in but wants out, obviously. Meanwhile, Big Cat came up the drive yesterday holding his tail suspiciously low and yes, he's also been got at! Luckily not a nasty deep wound but a very shallow scrape and a bit of fur pulled out. I dosed him up with loxicom (luckily I bought the BIG bottle from the vet) and washed the graze with salt water - I'm getting to be a pro at this...

Fortunately Big Cat is fine in terms of his wound. They both want desperately to go out. We live at the edge of a village and there are large gardens they roam, plus a big meadow at the back of the houses. The house is set back from the road into the village and was deemed pretty ok by the cattery and by our cat-sitter - basically it's about as good as it'll get, safety-wise. I'm not of the 'Keep cats indoors/catio' camp, and I've always said that cats need to explore and roam freely in order to be cats, and that comes with some risk ...

... but now it's right in our faces, I'm feeling very conflicted. The suspects, Bad-cat 1 and Bad-cat 2, live two gardens away and moved in with their people nearly 2 years ago. Unfortunately, though we've been here 15 years and had a cat for most of that, the new cats moved in during the brief 6 month period we were without a cat and therefore presumably the 'bad cats' see themselves as in possession of the territory! Having said that, we've let our cats out since late last year and there have never been any injuries until about 3 weeks ago. They've had cat stand-offs until now where they Sit and Look at one another and occasionally chase, and that's been it.

I need to go and talk to the owners (I don't know them at all), but very gently and politely. And I'm not even sure what I'm asking. I'm not asking them for vet fees obviously, it's our own choice and risk to let our cats out. I'm not asking them to keep their own cats in, even though their cats appear to be the aggressors or at least are coming off better (this is something I thought I'd ask them though). I suppose, if it were my cats who were constantly stomping on someone else's and causing injuries/vet's bills, I'd want to know.

What helpful things can I suggest to them? I thought I'd ask if anything has changed, because their cats' behaviour has. Should I offer to get them a super-soaker water pistol to squirt at the cats if they're fighting? Ask if they'd like me to get them a Flyway plug-in to chill them at home?? I can't think of anything else! I'm thinking I'll get a super-soaker myself to squirt the buggers if they come into the garden, it's just harmless water and maybe they'll associate approaching our cats with getting wet.

I'm sorry for the essay, I don't appear to be capable of brevity when I'm anxious, but how have other outdoor cat owners dealt with aggressive neighbour cats?

OP posts:
NewsdeskJC · 03/11/2025 09:18

Literally the reason you can't think of what to say is because there is nothing to say.
You all have outdoor cats. That's what cats do I imagine. Find a hierarchy. Your cats can either stay in or avoid the nasty ones..............
Can you reason with a cat? No and neither can your neighbours

DickDewey · 03/11/2025 09:19

What can you do? You can’t expect your neighbours to step in. You need to keep your cats in or risk them fighting.

ladybirdsanchez · 03/11/2025 09:19

I really feel for you OP. We have a bully cat next door and it's horrible. Since both your cats have been badly injured and you don't want to install a catio, is cat-proof fencing an option? I realise it doesn't allow them to roam free, but at least they'd be able to use their own garden and you'd keep the bullies out. It's really shit that you have to incur those costs and that it's YOUR cats whose lives will be curtailed, but I think I'd rather keep them safe, if it was me.

CharlieKirkRIP · 03/11/2025 09:24

Don’t be so ridiculous! What do you think will happen if you speak to your neighbours about their cats? Will they make them sit on the naughty step?

Describing them as ‘bad cat 1 and 2’ is awful. They are not bad they are just cats.

By all means deter any other cats from your own garden but your cats welfare is your responsibility, not anyone else’s.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 03/11/2025 09:24

Don't do it. They are not "bad cats," they are normal cats doing what cats do. It could easily be yours instigating the fights.

If you don't want them fighting with other cats then you need to keep them in.

herbalteabag · 03/11/2025 09:24

You could ask them if they have seen or heard anything happening. You could also ask if there are any particular times of day that their cats are more likely to be outside and then stop yours going out at that time and see if it helps?

herbalteabag · 03/11/2025 09:26

herbalteabag · 03/11/2025 09:24

You could ask them if they have seen or heard anything happening. You could also ask if there are any particular times of day that their cats are more likely to be outside and then stop yours going out at that time and see if it helps?

For example, my cats tend to go out first thing and late afternoon/evening. The rest of the time they mostly laze around indoors.

HostaCentral · 03/11/2025 09:27

I'm assuming they are all neutered, your cats and the neighbours??

We live in a similar situation to you, and there is always a bit of fighting when new cats move in. It can take weeks but does eventually settle down when territories are established. Unfortunately the only way this happens is to let it pan out.

The worst time was actually when a stray moved in to the area. It was awful. Horrendous fighting, injuries, spraying, trying to break in the cat flap. That only stopped when it got run over. We were not sorry .....

Any reason to believe a feral cat is around??

PastaAllaNorma · 03/11/2025 09:30

You have to let the cats sort it out or they will just keep fighting. Your cats need to learn they are at the bottom of the hierarchy and give way. Once that's settled and they scarper at the sight of the older cats the trouble should stop.

That's assuming all cats are neutered.

SheSpeaks · 03/11/2025 09:33

Maybe they are trying to think about how to talk to you about their cats injuries! I’m not sure you can be sure it was theirs or assume anything about cat life. The most you can do is a friendly chat about how to manage the cat dramatics because you’re worried something has changed to upset them all.

CompSc4542 · 03/11/2025 09:33

lol, what do you expect the neighbours to do? Put their cats on the naughty step?…

ThisMustBeMyDream · 03/11/2025 09:34

I'd ask the owners if it is neutered.
We had the same problem when we moved. The unneutured tom was a neighbourhood menace. The owners didn't care. Cat barely went home. The owners eventually agreed to surrender the cat to rescue. I trapped him and kept him in my house overnight and the rescue collected him the next day. Peace and harmony ever since 🙌.

DiscoBob · 03/11/2025 09:36

You need to get a water pistol and spray the cats if they're fighting or the other cats if they come onto your property. We have a bully cat next door. The owners kept him in for about two years and then once they let him out he's a terror! It's horrible isn't it.

Screwyoucolin · 03/11/2025 09:40

I had neighbours knock my door in these exact circumstances. The two neighbours said my cat was terrorising theirs when we moved in (he had never done this before in years of living in a very built up area). There is a local huge Tom that was fighting with mine and I think it made mine on edge so he went into defence mode, mine is neutered. I was sympathetic to them but wasn't sure what they actually wanted me to about it. This was over a year ago and they haven't knocked since and he hasn't come home bloodied either.

He did lose an eye in January (unsure what caused the injury) and i am unsure of this has calmed him down - he is still an excellent mouser!

Saysayonara · 03/11/2025 09:52

I agree with the others. You can't think of what to say to the owners because there is nothing to say. There is nothing they can do about it.

If you let your cats roam, they will get into all sorts of trouble. I've cat roaming cats for 50 years, I've had three cats killed on the road, numerous cat fights, numerous 'injuries of unknown cause', and two dog attacks with serious injuries - far more serious than cat fights. I live in a rural area but that doesn't make it 'safe'.

You just have to accept that is life as a roaming cat, or confine them to your garden where they will have a peaceful but less interesting life. I currently confine most of mine to our garden but I have an older one who roams, and he is currently recovering from 'injury of unknown cause' to save his leg that cost £8k. But his life would not be worth living if I confined him, he's that type of cat.

QueenVanSeahorse · 03/11/2025 10:08

The difficulty we have is that our neighbourhood bully cat is part Bengal so even what would be a normal spat between normal cats turns into £200 at the vets for antibiotics and metacam. And he can jump so high so keeping him out is an issue. However I did put up some Blink cameras in the garden and on the patio and from that I could approximate when our house was on his night time route and make sure our cat flap curfew covered it.

Shedmistress · 03/11/2025 10:28

I'd approach the neighbours with the aim of finding out if THEIR cats were also being attacked by something. Rather than blaming them.

We currently have 7 semi ferals with one living mainly indoors but he keeps having fights [he is neutered] and we can't find any injuries on the others so have no idea if he is fighting them or another cat or another something else. But he gets desperate to go out and really unhappy if we keep him in, he is an ex stray that adopted us but he loves being king of his garden and loves his 5am patrolling of the perimeter.

SorePawBoy · 03/11/2025 11:15

CharlieKirkRIP · 03/11/2025 09:24

Don’t be so ridiculous! What do you think will happen if you speak to your neighbours about their cats? Will they make them sit on the naughty step?

Describing them as ‘bad cat 1 and 2’ is awful. They are not bad they are just cats.

By all means deter any other cats from your own garden but your cats welfare is your responsibility, not anyone else’s.

I know and I knew I'd get slammed for it! It's as daft as saying that 'cats are evil' when they catch a vole or something. They are doing what cats do.

All the same, and my perjorative name-calling aside (I'll stop calling them Bad Cats) would you not at least want to know that your own cats were beating up someone else's and injuring them? I would, and if it were me I'd be thinking how to mitigate that - keeping more of an eye out, Feliway spray on at home, maybe limiting how much time they were outside a bit ... As it is, I'm certainly limiting my cats' time outside to avoid them getting nobbled at the moment!

OP posts:
SorePawBoy · 03/11/2025 11:18

HostaCentral · 03/11/2025 09:27

I'm assuming they are all neutered, your cats and the neighbours??

We live in a similar situation to you, and there is always a bit of fighting when new cats move in. It can take weeks but does eventually settle down when territories are established. Unfortunately the only way this happens is to let it pan out.

The worst time was actually when a stray moved in to the area. It was awful. Horrendous fighting, injuries, spraying, trying to break in the cat flap. That only stopped when it got run over. We were not sorry .....

Any reason to believe a feral cat is around??

I don't actually know anything about the newish neighbour's cats apart from I think they're both male and if they are, I'm fairly sure they've been done as they don't look like intact toms facially, etc. But it's hard to tell!

If we have a feral or stray around I've not seen it. I have seen our cats and the neighbour's two having fairly uneventful cat stand-offs for several months and up until about 3 weeks ago was fine about it - it's what cats do and I thought they were just sorting out their territories and hierarchies.

OP posts:
SorePawBoy · 03/11/2025 11:22

SheSpeaks · 03/11/2025 09:33

Maybe they are trying to think about how to talk to you about their cats injuries! I’m not sure you can be sure it was theirs or assume anything about cat life. The most you can do is a friendly chat about how to manage the cat dramatics because you’re worried something has changed to upset them all.

yes and that was one of the things I was intending to ask - in fact I was going to ask if they'd noticed any injuries on their own cats. I'm not remotely being PFB about my own little darlings, but they are smaller, younger and these are very obviously 'running away' injuries as the vet termed it - all on their back parts as they were trying to get away.

And thanks Smile a friendly chat is definitely what I'm intending to have. I just wondered if any other MNer have had a similar situation and how they negotiated it socially. I'm certainly not about to go in all guns blazing with the assumption that a) it's their cats doing this and b) all one-sided. However ... the fact remains that my two have sustained three injuries in three weeks, two of them vet-able, and clearly something has changed.

I'm not totally discounting the possibility of a feral who's turned up.

OP posts:
NowCarless · 03/11/2025 11:32

ThisMustBeMyDream · 03/11/2025 09:34

I'd ask the owners if it is neutered.
We had the same problem when we moved. The unneutured tom was a neighbourhood menace. The owners didn't care. Cat barely went home. The owners eventually agreed to surrender the cat to rescue. I trapped him and kept him in my house overnight and the rescue collected him the next day. Peace and harmony ever since 🙌.

Yes, we had almost an identical situation - the owner refused to neuter her thug cat, and I spent a huge amount on vets bills for my poor pacifist boy who was pathetically bad at defending himself and lost every time. Things only improved after about 3 years when she finally agreed to neuter him.

I think if you talk to your neighbours it's worth asking about that...

Wetcoatsandmudagain · 03/11/2025 11:49

Out of interest the problematic cats aren’t Bengal or Bengal cross breeds are they?

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 03/11/2025 12:33

Referring to cats as "bullies" is so ridiculous.

Saysayonara · 03/11/2025 13:41

In every place we've lived, my cats have had fights. Sometimes the neighbour's cat was the aggressor, sometimes mine.

I did sometimes talk to the neighbours, but nothing actually resulted from the talks. Because they're cats, and they do what cats do.

Re your question "Would I want to know?" I pretty much always know when my cats have had fights because they come back with tufts out of them and/or injuries. It makes little difference who started it. I can't stop it happening either way.

CremeEggThief · 03/11/2025 13:45

WTF have I just read? You actually think you can ask people to keep their cats in because they're fighting yours?

Insane....