Missing Cat - Any Happy Outcomes?

[Springroll89]

My cat has been missing for 8 days now. He's the sweetest and gentlest fella. We've done the FB threads, knocking on neighbours, flyering. Going to deliver some more today. Walked around calling. Looked for his body on main roads. Etc. I know there are a lot of threads on this topic. I'm just feeling so sad and would love to hear positive stories. We lost a cat on the road a couple of years ago and this actually feels worse. Thanks for listening.

I’ve just read your updates. My heart really goes out to you. Please take some comfort in the fact that you gave this little cat love, care and attention in his short life and that you advocated for him and protected him. And he had a peaceful passing.

They do tug on your heart-but your pets’ lives have been better with you as their owner. I say that to my son. He and his wife started feeding a stray cat which had been abandoned and now the cat has a lovely home with people who love her. I don’t know what her long term prospects are as the vet said she’d had a hard life out on the streets. You gave your little Louis the best life he could have had.

@Springroll89 Sorry for your family's loss.

As my late Dad said, "Pets are family."

@Springroll89 sorry for your loss but likely a happy release for poor little Louis , just because you can treat doesn’t always mean you should 💐

Oh what a rollercoaster @Springroll89 , so sorry for everything you have been through 😿, you gave that beautiful little boy love and did the very best for him💐💐💐

Oh @Springroll89my heart is breaking for you. I’m so sorry to hear about little Louis. What a gorgeous boy he was. And what a lucky cat to have spent time being loved by you.
Sending hugs xx

Any news?

My girl has sort of gone missing now. DH saw her at 5pm but there was a plumber here and she got frightened and went back out, we normally keep her in after dark. Then there were fireworks, which she is terrified of. No sign of her since. I’ve been out calling for her and DH has been around the park behind the garden and there is no sign.

Hopefully posting on here means she will stroll in like nothing has happened.

Went back out in the garden to call for her (and offer a prayer to St Kevin) and she turned up. Pain in the arse.

They may come back. Mine was missing for two weeks. I think she was locked in somewhere.

Pleased for you.

@WonderfulSmith I'm glad she turned up nice and quickly. No news here unfortunately. I'm going to repost some things on the FB groups in a few days as it'll be 3 months since he went missing.

Hope you're ok @takingcareofme2023 x

@Springroll89 , I've just come back to thread, thank you for asking about me. Ok, but still no news or closure. I just cannot understand how she has disappeared into thin air. Miss her on these cold dark nights, she should be asleep on my lap! Very cold here, worry about her in the cold if she's still alive. Holding a flicker of hope that the cold might bring her in closer to gardens/humans/food...Am thinking if she's not back after winter will consider another rescue cat. But really I just want her back, not another 😞🐾💕

@Springroll89 just thought I woulld mention that friends of ours had a cat go missing, albeit a long time ago now, for 14 months. They reconciled themselves to having lost her to the world. Then one day, in she walked, thinner but fine. And behaved as though she'd never left. They were a multi-cat household (4 or 5 I recall).

Hi @takingcareofme2023 thank you for letting me know how you're doing. I'm sure you'll know that seeing you had posted made me hope that you had some good news. She should be on your lap being pampered. You can love another cat. That would be absolutely no reflection on your feelings for your cat.

Thank you for sharing the lovely story @RosesAndHellebores

July a few years back. We had 2 cats. Within a week one died and the other disappeared. We adopted 2 more in September and missing cat returned in the November. They bonded and are currently sleeping together in a box.

@takingcareofme2023 I don't suppose you've had any news have you? I had hoped we'd both have a Christmas miracle. It's 2 years since Arthur came to live with us so getting lots of photo memories.

Hello @Springroll89 . Sadly, no. Yes, was secretly hoping for a Christmas miracle. I still read online of cats returning after years but I'm not sure it helps. As I've said before, it's just that she just completely and utterly disappeared that is so hard. I have started looking online at the local cat rescue places...but I would only take one that is happy with other cats...just in case there is a miracle in the future and then she returns. Sending love to you, it's so hard xx

I hope you find the right new cat friend for you. And that your girl comes home and enjoys her new friend @takingcareofme2023 It's the not knowing. As we keep saying 😔I've seen some comments on FB pages where the cat has come home where people laughingly say "they always come home!" and it makes me illogically angry that people would say that. Take care xx

I feel the need to vent a little. There is an (I had thought) pleasant mid 90s woman who lives in a house behind us. She has mentioned previously that people might take exception to cats hurting the local birds and has said they might do something about it.

When my cat went missing I contacted her and she said that he wasn't in her garden and that he had probably gone far away, while also saying that she was sorry he was missing. She said she had seen him on her garage wall the morning he disappeared. She apparently likes/liked cats but was concerned about the local birds. Which is fair enough. I don't have evidence that my cats kill loads of birds. They do kill mice. I had tried putting a collar on a one of them but she immediately started strangling herself and I removed it. It just doesn't seem to be safe.

I emailed her the other week to ask if I could have a look to see if he'd got stuck in her garden (he would obviously be long dead by now, he went missing in August) but I would like to at least have a look and she said he wasn't there. She began her response saying that she was sorry I was still upset about him being missing. Not sorry he was missing. Just sorry (surprised?) I was "still upset". Which seemed a bit unfeeling to me.

She has emailed me this morning saying that the people on her road pay for the upkeep of the green area and pond near them and that if people think my cats may be hunting the birds there then they would "be very angry". She hasn't said that there is any evidence they are doing this. I've walked by the pond many times and never seen one of our cats there.

I have responded saying that we also pay (a lot more than her by the way!) for the upkeep of the greens near us and that other people and their cats and dogs can use these areas. That cats have roamed since time immemorial and that if anyone has or is going to do anything to any cat (stealing or hurting in some way) then that would be breaking the law and I would hope they would face the full force of the law.

I am just very angry that she is being so insensitive and almost making threats. I wish I had told her to direct her concern towards whoever is apparently thinking of breaking the law.

I also can't help but think, does she know something she isn't telling me?

Nothing to be done. I don't want to get into a slanging match with her. I'm not about to call the police or anything. I am having very uncharitable thoughts about her though.

I'm so sorry, OP. At the very least, she's being very insensitive, and I'd wonder exactly the same as you - does she know something she's not saying? It's weird that her immediate response was that Arthur probably 'went far away' which isn't usually true with cats. I don't want to speculate too much, but that would definitely be playing on my mind.

She doesn't sound like much of a cat lover to me, regardless of what she might have said. I can't imagine not letting someone whose cat was missing search my garden for them, much less writing semi-threatening emails about their other cats. It sounds like what she means is that she would be very angry.

Again, I don't want to speculate too much because this whole situation is obviously extremely painful for you (as it would be for any cat owner) - but if I were you, I do think I'd keep a close eye on my other kitties. Hugs. I'm so sorry Arthur still hasn't been found.

Thanks @DreamOfTheRarebitFiend I think you're spot on. Oddly this woman (who I've seen once in my life and had a few emails exchanges with) previously seemed lovely. When I said that I would be raising the issue with our local association (on the basis that if there's anything in it - people upset about cats/people planning to "off" cats ?!?!? - then I'd like to know!) she immediately descended into abuse!!

She said that I needed to look after my cats, she can't (?), if I looked after them properly they wouldn't roam (?), that I have done nothing but harass her (!) and that I am only interested in cats, not people. This is someone who met me once over a year ago and has exchanged a few pleasant emails with me! I've even offered to pay for one of those sound devices to stop any cats going in her garden, which she rejected.

I think she's having an episode. I've spoken to 2 lots of lovely neighbours who also came to this conclusion and suggested I should block her, which I have done. They also confirmed that no one is discussing this in either residential association and people do get that cats roam!

I just worry that even though she is a 95 year old woman with mobility issues, she could still put down poison!

Anyway, the heady combination of insanity and as a side point talking to some really nice people continues! What a blinking roller coaster losing your cat is! Thanks again x

Oh wow @Springroll89 what a distressing interaction. I keep an eye on this thread hoping for a positive outcome but this encounter sounds positively chilling. I hope you are ok

Thanks @Puppylucky I wonder if I should get my 3 tracker collars. The only things stopping me are I know how much they hate collars, and someone could just remove them if they actively wanted to cause harm to them.

I would like to try to find a contact for this lady's daughter as it is a worrying situation both in terms of her anger (sign of a medical issue perhaps) and from a selfish point of view the poorly hidden threats she has made to me. Not to mention it being uncomfortable living next door to someone who has now decided they hate you! But I don't know how any contact from me might be received and it may well provoke more anger.

It's astonishing how quickly someone can turn from a basically normal person to someone making threats and character assassinations against someone they don't know.

No positive news on Arthur unfortunately. I am going to foster a cat from Friday, which I am nervous but excited about ❤️ First time for us.

I'm still very up and down about Arthur. I'm ok most of the time, then sometimes it hits me and I get very upset and angry. This isn't helped by my husband and 2 teenage boys not talking about him. I need to remember that it's just that they are men/boys and process things differently. I guess they don't need to talk about it. Plus other family members and some friends seem to think I should be "over it" by now. A very close friend even suggested counselling when I said how upset I get "because it won't just be about your cat being missing". I had to stop myself from saying it really, seriously is about my cat being missing. She just is of the "it's only a cat/crazy cat lady" mind set.

Anyway. I hope other cats are making their way back home as we speak. Thanks again for letting me blow off steam xx

It's so frustrating when people don't get how much your beloved pet means to you @Springroll89 , it's hard not to tear a strip off them for their attitude!
I house-sat for a friend who went abroad for a year, she had a very unfriendly cat which had been abandoned by the previous owners of said house and cat. He was as likely to bite you as look at you.
Sadly he was killed by a dog, and I cried my eyes out. A mutual friend really couldn't understand it because 'it wasn't your cat'. Another mutual friend greatly rose in my estimation by saying doesn't matter, they get under your skin.
Here, we all understand how you feel and are still hoping for good news 💐💐💐

Oh @Pudmyboy that's so horrible. That poor cat. And I'm sorry for your loss. No doubt it had been through something to make it "spicy" (as they say nowadays).

I myself don't love every cat I meet. There's a pretty nasty one nearby who likes to attack our cats. But I would never ever dream of harming him! And I know he is a well loved member of our neighbours' family.

I swear I was talking to my dad the other day and he asked why I looked sad. I'd been upset about Arthur earlier in the day and said "well, I'm still very sad about Arthur. But I know you don't want to hear about that". I literally got an eye roll as a response. Not one word. Just an eye roll and a change of subject.

My dad isn't the most emotionally developed person in the world though!

You really never know who's going to "get it" about cats do you? When our first cat died on the road a few years ago I mentioned it to a lovely lady at work and my son's music teacher, both of whom acted as if I'd said I'd broken a fingernail. The next day I mentioned it to my son's teacher and someone doing some decorating at our house, both of whom started long stories about lost cats and emotional family members who had only ever been moved to tears over the death of a family cat. They definitely got it xx

Really sorry to read all this. I’d be suspicious of her too if I’m honest. Though I will say, cats that are poorly (whether from poison or other) often go somewhere quiet to pass away. Not always, but often. If she had poisoned your cat it’s unlikely he will have died in her garden where it happened, and I’d say that most people would have noticed if he’d passed away in their garden or somewhere else and would have either taken him to the vet or put it on the community group. In August people are outside a lot and given the weather I’m sorry to say it would likely be fairly obvious if he was passed in someone’s garden, so hopefully that’s not the case.

Sorry that sounds so direct, in a way I just hope it makes you worry less that she might have done this. Can completely understand why you may think she’s suspicious, frankly, I would too, but the chances of her doing that and him not being found do seem a bit unlikely. I think she’s likely just a nasty old woman with no empathy for other people and their lovely animals. I care about birds and wildlife a lot, but I care about all other animals just the same and would have no problem in helping you / letting you pop round if you were our neighbour. Being elderly is likely the reason she’s behaving like this, many of them are entitled and also like their privacy, hence her maybe not wanting you to go in her garden.

I’m so sorry your sweet boy hasn’t come home yet. As I probably posted at the time, our girl went missing for 3 months and then strolled in one day like nothing had happened. I spent the whole time putting up posters, door knocking etc and was beside myself. Worst 3 months of my life hands down. A cat local to us was found after a year of being missing, he was about 5 miles from home and someone who’d been feeding him took him to the vet’s to check for a chip and his owners were found and were delighted. The guess is that he may have gotten into a delivery van or something, hence ending up so far from home. Needless to say it was a wonderful reunion and a lovely post to open on Facebook the other week.

Sending hugs and hoping for a good outcome ❤️