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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

She's finally a lap cat, it only took 9 years!

21 replies

Richandstrange · 08/08/2025 01:25

We adopted her at 6 months old, previous home wasn't the best and she was very timid/nervous at first. She settled nicely but interaction with us has always been on her terms and although she's really affectionate and loves cuddles, being picked up etc she would never voluntarily get on anyone's lap and wouldn't stay more than a minute if you put her there.

Then a few weeks ago she suddenly started getting on DH's lap (despite it taking her much longer to trust him than me) and settling for a while, properly lying down and going to sleep. I was pleased but also a bit put out because she still wouldn't get on my lap, only walk across it to get to DH which seemed very unfair when it's me that feeds her and cleans out her litter tray! So fairly typical cat behaviour, right? Smile

And then today she's clearly decided my lap is the place to be. She's come and curled up on me twice for about half an hour each time (when I was supposed to be doing stuff and about to get up, obviously) and I genuinely feel like I've won the lottery I'm so chuffed! She's almost 10 years old so it's taken long enough but I'm delighted she finally trusts us enough. Know changes in behaviour can indicate health issues so am keeping a close eye on her but she's eating well, toilet all fine, no hiding behaviour or anything so think she's just decided she's a lap cat after all, finally!

OP posts:
LightandBreezy · 08/08/2025 01:35

Cat tax required... 👀

Overtheatlantic · 08/08/2025 01:39

This is so lovely 😻 Enjoy having a warm lap. And holding your bladder.

Richandstrange · 08/08/2025 02:04

LightandBreezy · 08/08/2025 01:35

Cat tax required... 👀

My sincere apologies Blush

She's finally a lap cat, it only took 9 years!
OP posts:
Iwiicit · 08/08/2025 02:22

Congratulations! She looks just like my 5 year old cat who was adopted under very similar circumstances. It's good to know I might only have to wait another 5 years to earn myself some respect and a cuddle.

LightandBreezy · 08/08/2025 02:22

What a gorgeous girl! That must feel very special having loved and cared for her for so long 😊

LightandBreezy · 08/08/2025 02:24

@Iwiicit I was thinking along similar lines... potentially only a 5 year wait for me too 😂

Richandstrange · 08/08/2025 02:41

Glad I'm giving you both some hope! She's actually quite needy and the absolute centre of the household, everyone dotes on her so it always felt wrong that she wouldn't come and snooze on a nice warm lap. It was like she wanted to but just couldn't work up the courage, I wonder what changed? Only thing I can think of is that we've been cheating on her with a neighbours cat recently, he comes for a fuss whenever we go out to the car or are getting shopping in or doing anything on the drive so we've been coming home stinking of another cat, maybe she thinks she's got competition. I will get a photo of him tomorrow to cover my cat tax btw, he's a beauty!

OP posts:
Allergictoironing · 08/08/2025 07:04

She's come and curled up on me twice for about half an hour each time (when I was supposed to be doing stuff and about to get up, obviously)

The technical term for that is "incapussitated", and when afflicted the chosen subject is relieved of all duties other than obliging their master/mistress by being a heated cushion.

Girlcat recently (after 8 years) decided strokes and belly rubs are required, but rather than coming to me and sitting on my lap she will drape herself elegantly in her favorite position and I have to go and sit beside her to minister to her desires.

Toddlerteaplease · 08/08/2025 11:15

That’s lovely. It took two years for Maia. And it really did feel like winning the lottery!

CatAsstrophe · 08/08/2025 17:23

This is so lovely @Richandstrange

One of my (now dearly departed) girl cats sat on my lap for all of 5 minutes in 13 years, despite me being a devoted slave her entire life.

Timeforatincture · 08/08/2025 17:36

When she does it you can claim Right of Cattage; you get out of all duties and get people to bring you things.

RentalWoesNotFun · 08/08/2025 19:25

There’s hope for me yet. I’ve only waited three years so far!

Richandstrange · 10/08/2025 15:11

Pics of our visiting beauty as promised, if I didn't like my neighbour so much I'd be seriously tempted to catnap him, he's adorable!

She's finally a lap cat, it only took 9 years!
She's finally a lap cat, it only took 9 years!
OP posts:
ohreallyIsee · 10/08/2025 23:25

gives me hope that one day mine will curl up on my knee-only been 6 years. He also will not curl up on a sofa/bed if someone is sat on it

She's finally a lap cat, it only took 9 years!
Overtheatlantic · 10/08/2025 23:29

Richandstrange · 10/08/2025 15:11

Pics of our visiting beauty as promised, if I didn't like my neighbour so much I'd be seriously tempted to catnap him, he's adorable!

He’s gorgeous. My neighbour has an adorable tuxedo who sneaks in through our cat flap and then lets out the loudest meow.

Richandstrange · 12/08/2025 23:05

She's doing it daily now, twice today Smile It's making me ridiculously happy, if a little bit sweaty in this weather. I didn't think she would ever trust me enough (god knows what happened to her in her previous home Sad) but she can clearly still surprise me!

OP posts:
eurochick · 13/08/2025 19:37

Nothing bad might have happened. We have had ours since kittens, they have been ridiculously pampered their whole lives and they are ridiculously timid. They are now six and in the past couple of weeks one has finally deigned to sit next to name on the sofa with her bum up against my leg. I live in hope that one day one of them will become a lap cat. The other is so skittish I can’t see it ever happening.

Dabberlocks · 13/08/2025 19:43

We have an adoptee too, and are still waiting... He is so loving, affectionate and chatty, and is totally desperate for cuddles, but he is flighty and just can't bring himself to sit on a lap. Maybe one day.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 13/08/2025 20:11

Our boy will cuddle up in my arms like a baby if I am lying in bed, but he’s just not a lap cat at all. DP has just picked him up and has him sat on him as he’s stretched out on the sofa, and I can hear his tail swishing from here. Our previous girl loved a lap.

Wbeezer · 13/08/2025 20:16

Our cat took 12 years! She kept her distance until our other cat ( who was the “boss” cat and monopolised all laps and comfy spots) died. She is now a real cuddly softy.

DoAWheelie · 13/08/2025 20:48

I got my girl at 9 weeks old directly from the shelter where she was born. She was also a very timid cat. Affection fully on her terms like yours. She suddenly started being a lap cat too last year at 12 years old. Now she's draped all over me during the day and sleeps on my pillow or on my chest at night.

Her two brothers were clingy with me from day one so I was never starved for kitty cuddles, but even though it's been daily over the last year, hers still feels extra special.

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