Our cat has chosen another home - but the home doesn’t want her and the lady is angry

[MaggieSP]

In November last year, our cat went missing for 3 weeks. We were reunited through a lady on Facebook who posted in the lost and found pets page. She had wandered quite far! It’s about a 15 minute walk away, I had no idea she went that far!

Because the lady had seen her hanging around her garden day and night in all weather, she assumed she was lost so started feeding her and providing shelter while she tried to find who she belonged to.

When I got her back, I kept her in for a while but she doesn’t cope well with that at all and was very stressed and not herself. Crying day and night etc but I wanted to make sure she knew that was her home still. Since then she has been back to that house twice, and the woman who lives there is not happy at all. My cat isn’t a pest, she isn’t doing anything wrong but she wants to go inside. She said all she can hear while trying to watch TV is my cat meowing on her wall over and over again. She tries to ignore her but it gets annoying so she gives in, or she ends up feeling sorry for her if she’s sat outside in the rain. My cat will just sit outside her back door waiting for her to open it. I have suggested that she just ignores her because eventually she will come back home, or for her to text me and soon as she sees her and I will come over and collect her.

However my cat has been missing again for just over a week. I put posts on Facebook etc and just assumed that if she’d made her way back to the other lady’s house, she would’ve told me. I messaged her anyway, and she said my cat has been at hers every day. I asked her why she didn’t tell me but she said it’s my responsibility to check and that I’m going to have to keep my cat indoors because she doesn’t want to take ownership. I said she has been missing for over a week so how has she survived? Lo and behold.. she was feeding her! Why not just message me to come and get her?!

How do I handle this situation? I don’t know what to do. She is 7 years old and loves to be outside and exploring, I can’t take that away from her, it’s not fair to her and she wouldn’t cope. I really feel like it’s down to the other person to just stop feeding her and ignore her and she will come back home. I understand it’s hard and it does sound annoying to have her hanging around the house crying, but if she perseveres she will surely give up and come home?

Thank you for all of the comments.

just to clarify, I was looking for my cat as soon as she hadn’t been home all day! I just didn’t contact the woman until after a week because I had asked her previously that if she ever shows us again to please just send me a quick text and I’ll come and collect her. She didn’t do that, so I assumed she wasn’t there. But after a week thought I would check anyway just in case

Just to put the other side, I’m in the situation where I have a cat yelling to get into my house that I don’t want. It’s clear that this animal has an owner and is lonely, I don’t feed it, but she comes and yells outside the house every morning and evening. My current cat is uninterested but I don’t know what to do!

Less likely lonely, more likely greedy. Cats will moan at anyone’s door for food. It’ll have a home where it gets fed. Unless it’s skin and bone, it’s fine.

You keep your cat inside, its as simple as that really. If your cat wants to go outside, buy a catio or build one yourself.
That's the obvious, simple solution im afraid. Either that or accept that your cat doesn't want to live with you and rehome her, cats choose their owners.

But the other person doesn't want the cat. So how can she remove it? Cats roam. Its not unusual. If you don't feed them and squirt occasionally with water they will stay away. That other woman needs to make up her mind. I think she secretly likes it

Is your cat neutered? The one thing I've noticed on our local facebook page with cats that get lost or wander long distances is that the majority of them aren't neutered. Does neutering female cats stop them from wandering so far?

Maybe not a super soaker but a small spray should do the trick.

Tell the lady one more time (in writing)

’Please, if you don’t want my cat to keep coming back please stop feeding her and letting her in. I know it’s annoying so please feel free to use any safe deterrent to keep her away eg a spray of water, citrus smells. If you keep feeding and letting her in then I can’t be held responsible for her keeping coming back. She is an outdoor cat so I won’t be keeping her in. If she is creating a nuisance at your door I will come and collect her but if I collect her and she is inside your house having been fed then that will be the last time I will collect her’.

Six dinner Sid. Cats are independent beings.

She needs to stop fxking feeding your cat! It absolutely boils my blood when people do this! I had a cat in my teens and a woman 3 doors down kept feeding him and he’d go missing for weeks! If she doesn’t want him bothering her, she needs to ignore him and certainly stop feeding him! Unless she wants to take him in, pay for his food, vets bills, flea treatments etc!

Find out what this lady has been feeding her and buy the same. It may be your cat prefers the food at the other house

Well its that woman's fault. She never should have fed her to begin with.
So many people do this with cats. They see one and jump to the conclusion they are lost or need food. When really cats are quite smart and will eventually go home.
I dont think you can do much but if you get them back keep them in doors

I'd try to work out what the attraction is. Does this other person live on her own in a very quiet house, while yours is noisy, for example? What does she feed her? If it's fresh salmon and caviare, that would explaina lot!

Why do cats make a bee line for people that don’t like them!
If a cat wanted to adopt my home but I knew she already had a home then I wouldn’t be feeding them etc, it’s just encouraging them to visit.
If it’s annoying her 1st don’t feed or
acknowledge the cat. 2nd Let the owner know.
Can you get a tracker for your puss cat maybe?

I agree you can't keep her inside, it's cruel if she's had 7 years as a roamer. I'd get a tracker collar or similar, and just make sure if she's near that property you go grab her. Tell the lady you're doing this, reiterate she absolutely should not feed her because it's creating the problem and stay on top of tracking your cat. If you collect her every single time she's anywhere close to that house, she'll stop bothering eventually.

I like cats, I just don’t want another. This one seems to have taken a shine to my old cat; there no food going. It is loud and yells in the garden, morning and night.

Agree with everyone here. The silly woman should not have bloody fed your cat! Silly mare. You need to get your kitty back @MaggieSP and keep her in for a couple of weeks. How odd that she has got attached to someone else so quickly!

One of my cats likes to tour the neighbourhood. He is a large Maine Coon type, fluffy and large of tail. Last winter, one of my neighbours woke from a sofa snooze to find his big ass snuggled up on them, purring like a bandsaw and making biscuits on her tummy. Turns out she was the warmest surface for quite the distance so he took advantage!

Hmm, cats are picky sods!

What are you feeding your cat and what food is the neighbour feeding it?

If you’re feeding your cat cheap supermarket tinned cat food like Felix and Whiskers maybe try feeding it better quality food like fresh chicken, fish inc. tinned tuna for a few weeks?

I once had a cat that did this, except I didn't know where he was going to and the lady was happy with him being there, it was me who was upset. Cats are very stubborn when they want to do something and it is very hard to deter them. When I found out where my cat was I asked her not to feed him and tried to shut him in for a while to break the habit. However, he was really unhappy and just went straight back there at the first opportunity.
I realised that my cat changed and started doing this when my previously immobile baby started to walk clumsily around and make a lot of sudden noise dropping things on the wooden floorboards, so I could see a reason. There must be a reason if your cat is 7 and only started doing this recently?
It also sounded like this lady was indulging my cat with some quite nice food, like roast chicken, on a regular basis. Can you entice your cat back with some special food, so that it doesn't feel the need to keep going there?
I don't agree with the catio posts or the fact that you are somehow responsible for your cat's actions. I'm sure this lady could ignore your cat for a while if she really wanted to. The fact that she didn't bother to text you indicates that she wasn't as bothered as she makes out.

Would building a catio be a viable option? Then she could go outside but stay close and safe. The woman feeding her sounds like a nightmare!

Best thing the RSPCA ever told me was to get the cat in before dusk every night. Always stayed close to home and always came when called and happily stayed in for the night.

Late night at work or short daylight and he never wanted to come in because it was roaming time.

Have you tried training him to come when called and stay in from tea time? Tuna, chicken, cheese, whatever it takes until he gets a routine.

Get a feliway plug in?

15 minutes walking for a human is not that far for a cat

We have a pesky local cat that makes a nuisance f itself and miaows at doors and tries to come in.

We just throw buckets of water over it and eventually it for the message.

I'd keep your cat in for a month. And then only let out h def supervision or on a lead for a while.

And tell the woman not to feed it.