I don’t even know how to begin to clean this up (aka bastard cat)

[Dilbertian]

I finally get to sit down at the end of the day and find this delight. Probably why MrBastardCat was shouting at us at 5am.

Are my books salvageable?

Is that shit? I wouldn’t keep those books. Or the blanket. 😬

If its cat sick try removing with a damp cloth?? If its poo.... then I'd definitely chuck

How was that even possible?
Does he handstand to poo?
MrBastardCat might have a career in the circus.

Dirty protest?

I think it's poo. Covid nose means that I'm genuinely not sure.

My books! Maybe I'll leave them until tomorrow and try to get it out by riffling then outdoors?

It's actually a good thing that I didn't find it this morning, because then I would have felt obliged to clean it immediately - and made a worse mess and been late to work. At least it has dried so it flakes off the fabrics easily. Especially the carpet. But the sofa is not perfectly clean. What do I do about this?

He was probably on the sofa.

Of course the other thing that comes to mind is whether this is a normal Modus Operandi for MrBastardCat, or may he need a visit to the vet if it doesn't settle in a day or two? They usually do manage to develop illnesses over Bank Holiday weekends...

I'd be concerned about his health tbh

This is not normal, neither in texture nor in location. Neither is shouting at us in the middle of the night normal.

OTOH he is not off his food and he has been absolutely himself this afternoon.