Ridiculous things we do for our cats

[RubyDarke]

We adopted our two girls from a local rescue last April. They are very loved - and very spoiled.
Example:

Every morning I make my bed as soon as I wake up, and spread a special purple blanket at the foot (not too close to the end though as our calico girl doesn't always have the best spatial awareness and has rolled off a couple of times.)

I then open the window blinds and draw the curtains back so that there is a small gap of about 1 foot (the width of a cat who 'could easily become tubby' - Vet).

At this point, I usually hear scratching at the door and loud meowing, and I have to let the Empress of Floof into the room. She first spends about 20 minutes chattering at the pigeons in a large oak tree from her special position on the window sill behind the curtain. Note that if the curtains are opened too wide she refuses to jump up and cries until they are adjusted to her required width.

After threatening the pigeons she then jumps onto the bed, makes biscuits on the purple blanket, or rolls around showing off her fluffy belly for me to admire, and eventually settles down for the first of her naps.

She does this every day. On days when I leave early for work, I have to leave the room prepared for her (or she cries according to my adult DD who works from home).

My DH seems to think that this is all ridiculous and that I am indulging her. I think I am merely ensuring that the Empress's needs are met.

But actually he's right and the bloody cat rules the household. While all this is going on, her sister just scampers in and out of the catio chattering at the birds. She is very low maintenance.

Please tell me I am not alone in doing daft things for the family cats?

My cat won't eat unless she sees me preparing her food. So if she is already out then comes in, I have to go through the rigmarole of pretend mashing her food with a fork before presenting it to her. If it's already down she just won't eat it. Also she needs to say thank you by head butting my hand which is always very cute ❤️

We have 6 cats (long story, all rescues). One came to us from the streets, semi feral, with a litter of kittens and she stayed, because no-one else would have her.

She's very domesticated now - the choice between outside in winter and a nice warm dry house tends to do that to them. But will she use the fucking cat flap, what do you think? So DP and I are door butlers, letting her in and out as she pleases. And if she has to wait too long, she'll meow very politely if she's inside, but bang on the windows if she's outside and wants to come in.

Plus our house has more cardboard boxes than an Amazon warehouse.

The cupboard where we keep the catfood backs onto an outside wall so is cold in winter. So their food is not near fridge temperature, we warm it on the radiator before giving it to them.

DP and I paint miniatures, we have desks side by side.

I don’t remember how it came about but there’s a basket in the same room.

Our cat gets into the basket and then meows at us until we lift the basket (with her in it) onto a desk.

She then goes to sleep.

She won the battle of the electric blanket part 2-it is now her electric blanket on the end of my bed
Make sure the fan heater is pointed in her direction whilst I freeze and she is toasting herself on top of the electric blanket
her own (cat face) hot water bottle, on top of her self -heat mat on what used to be my armchair
Food warmed , insists on watching me put it in the bowl (have to throw out existing food)
lik-e-liks stand off (she wins)
Refuses to walk through doors that are ajar-spends a long time looking at me, then the door handle, very pointedly, until I give in and open it to her preferred gap of 12 inches
Ditto re cat flaps-we all know she can use it, but it has to be PROPPED OPEN UNTIL BEDTIME as she declines to use her little fluffy head to push it open!!!
Then loafs on the window ledge outside crying, even though the cat flap is propped open for her-refused to come in unless the back door is actually opened
😱

Our cat must have her bed a certain distance from the fire. She must have wet food from DH and dry food from me. She must have a treat after we've eaten our dinner. She must know where we are and DH and I are not allowed into DS's room with him together, only one of us at a time. She must accompany DH to the bathroom. She must be comforted when she comes in from the garden by asking her a series of questions and giving her time to miaow a response to each one. She must be petted with head and chin scratches from me and back taps from DH. Sometimes this must be done simultaneously. The timing of any affection must be precise, it must not be too short and it must not be too long. DH must get down on the floor beside her and rub her after he has brushed his teeth. She must have tiny pieces of roast chicken when we have one and it must be breast meat. All food must be in tiny pieces. She must only have wet food in jelly and sometimes it must be just the jelly and any meaty chunks must be removed from her bowl before any other wet food is added. Some food must be rejected for no apparent reason.

Breaking these rules will earn swipes with claws, hisses or incessant miaowing.

Our cat likes to snuggle with DH in bed (not me as I’m too restless a sleeper) but he must be facing the correct way. If he’s facing the wrong way he gets headbutted until he moves into the correct position.

We've thought about buying a heated clothes airer and have seen one in Costco that has 3 racks divided by a central bit.

Each time we see it we discuss whether it is sturdy enough to take the weight of all 6 of them. We haven't bought it because we think not and, as well as not being any use as a heated airer with a load of cats all over the washing, it's our one act of rebellion against our feline overlords.

So no, OP, you are absolutely not alone!

However your DH is an outlier for failing to recognise the majesty of his feline overlord.

Edit: sorry, I didn’t mean to quote the post about the heated airer but can’t remove that now!

I've put off hoovering and changing the bed because the cat was asleep near by or on it.

I bought children's plates for them to eat off as they had whisker fatigue.

They have their own labelled medicine boxes.

I saw one cat asleep on the radiator last night so I'm going to get a bed that hangs off it as the radiator can't be comfortable.

All normal.

Previous cat - had to twist my dressing gown into a donut shape for him to sleep in on my bed.

He would only eat when we were eating so as he had a life limiting health condition we always had to eat our meals at the same time.

Since I kicked out ex h I've let the cats have the run of the house all night. Boy cat shouts for his breakfast every morning. He follows me in to the loo if I dare to use the facilities before I feed him. Rest assured I only do this when I'm really desperate as he has to come first of course. If I don't come quickly enough if I do follow him first he runs back to get me.

@2025willbemytime We don't vacuum if it's raining because the noise of the scary cat chaser will make them run outside.

If one is on a lap, we'll not get up and disturb them even if we need to go to the toilet or something else important. If a bit of wee doesn't come out when you stand up, you didn't really need to go, did you?

Another one, I have to sit on the sofa with my legs down so he can sit on my lap. If my legs are up, preferred position, he will put his paw on my leg and expect me to put it down. Of course I do.

I love these!

If you aren't regularly doing batshit things to accommodate/pander to a feline overlord, you are doing it wrong.

I am a door woman to all of my cats. They each have a different way to notify their requirements. One demands cuddles the second she comes in. Another demands a treat. They all have their own hooded baby towels for when it's raining.

Multiple times I have carried feral kittens around inside my top and have the scars as reminders. No sane person does this.

@sparklypinkgoblin I actually bought an electric blanket purely for one of my cats.

Another needed to be let under the bottom sheet of a freshly made bed, where she slept for a couple of hours. Only immediately after it being made and she didn't bother again until the next bed change. She held my finger in her paws every night to sleep.

They are both gone now 💔

ETA I haven't gone to the loo/showered on my own since I was 15 and I became the only person in the house that the cats would follow to the bathroom.

No hoovering if the void is asleep. Thick towel on the kitchen radiator at all times so he can balance on it without being too uncomfortable. Will only eat food if he sees me put it down. Likes to spy on me on the loo in the mornings so I have to leave the door open enough for him to look through with one eye.

If it's chilly in our bedroom during the day and we are at home , put the electric blanket on for the cat on our bed .

Leave on a radio if we go out so she has some background noise on .

Sit on the edge of the sofa if she is laid out in it .

Lay uncomfortable in bed if she is on the bed in the night so she has the spot that suits her .

My princess has rules. I have to be starred at for biscuits in the evening and provide neck scratches I cannot give in too easily and feed her or she walks away bored. Later my partner has to be stared out for some wet food and he has to react quickly or she'll pace and become annoyed. She sleeps all day and ignores us, the control games start in the evening and of course the princess rules us every evening.

I sleep in a double bed, on one side. The small king used to sleep on the spare side - now he's begun sleeping in the slice of space between me and the edge of the bed. Gets grumpy if I try and edge backwards to give him more space - no, he needs to have the exact arrangement of nearly falling off the bed whilst being wedged against me. Of course I give him what he wants.

I love these. We are proper cat slaves. My Princess will come in through the cat flap, but has to be told to push the door. Every Time! She has been using the same door for 5 years.

I have a brother and sister who are 18. Milady is still quite active, and likes to take an evening stroll around the perimeter before bed. There have been many evenings when I've waited up beyond my bedtime to ensure she's safely in. Sometimes she teases me at the door and I have to go outside, ignoring her completely and pretend to look at the stars before swooping on her to pick her up.

Milord is deaf, so isn't allowed outside too late in the evening. He gets carried to bed and has to be kissed on the head by every member of the house that we pass. Obviously he jumps down from the sofa the minute we put him on it.

They also both have 'afternoon tea' in the form of Dreamies.

They are irresistible I love my long furred chubby Maine coone cross,
Genuinely time chilling and cuddling with her is the best

We made the mistake of thinking the Lakeland heated airer was for clothes, turns out it's for warm cat naps and lazing on whilst she watches the squirrels and wood pigeons from the utility room.

My big fluffy rescue has her own pillow. Paces up and down till I make the bed and put her extra fluffy blanket on for her. The other one will yell outside the closed toilet door until you open it then she will cuddle you 😳 I have four mad moggies and they all have their little quirks..... but I wouldn't be without them. We spent a frantic hour looking for one earlier..... my sons were looking around the house for him. Checked in the wardrobes, airing cupboard, rattling treat packs. Normally he comes running at the sound....no sign anywhere. Sons were getting very worried..... *** Cat was on a dining chair fast asleep!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Literally the last place we looked 🤣🤣 all hail the furry overlord 🤣

Yep - mine gives a fifteen minute warning of breakfast lunch and dinner time. And supper time too. Woe betide you if you’re late or deviate from timings.

She will bang inside on the patio door if it’s time to go and watch the pigeons. If you do not respond (because your on a work Teams call) she will move to a kitchen cabinet and not only bang and wail but will start trying to gouge out chunks and get very snarly. Her face changes and her eyes become dead - like a shark about to attack.

if she’s on your knee whilst you’re watching TV you MUST NOT MOvE. There is apparently no need to turn over the channel.

She hates the rug in the front room. The only time she walks on it is to peer into the log burner, summoning her slaves as she wishes us to light her a fire. She then waits whilst we pop her ‘good girl blanket’ on said rug so she doesn’t have to stand on the fluffy rug.

I love having a cuddle with her though. Even though I know it’s because she wants to sit on the electric blanket, and it’s not real affection. I think everything she does is a calculated move but I love her unconditionally.