Page 12 | Picking up our cat that's been 'missing' for years

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 2025-02-03T14:57:02+00:00

Well not missing exactly but we lived at our old address and as our cat got older and we had kids and 2 dogs our cat spent more and more time with our elderly neighbour. We would try and coax him home but he always went back. The neighbour loved him and spoilt him rotton. 2 years ago we moved house and we tried to catch him a few times to bring him with us but he evaded us. So we went to the neighbours house to ask him to catch him for us. The elderly neighbour said he would like him to stay (his wife and dog had passed away) as he was good company So over time we check in on him, make sure he doesn't need vet care etc. Neighbour has our number. We just stopped by to check in and he asked if we could take him. Of course! But I'm worried as he's not seen our dogs in years. He's never been to this home and we have somehow adopted a stray cat here who treats it like his home and is basically out unplanned cat too now. We are picking him up in an hour and I'm just a bit stressed at how to navigate this!! We never planned to be apart from him but he chose the neighbour over us and at that time the neighbour really needed him. Any advice please!

spikefaithbuffy · 19/02/2025 01:59

These are cheaper elsewhere but vet recommended them to me for cognitive issues, linked so you can see reviews

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DazzlingCuckoos · 20/02/2025 12:24

Our vets used to prescribe Advocate but have now switched to Stronghold Plus. They said to me, and I've heard elsewhere, that Advocate seems less effective now.

We give our cats separate worming tablets (Milbevet) but there had to be a period of at least 5 days between the flea treatment and the wormer.

Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 24/02/2025 12:43

Little update.

He's doing really well.

Has ventured downstairs a few more times. My dogs don't like him at all so that's been tricky.

He really wants to go outside.

He's been pissing in my husbands toolbox and he did a shit in the middle of the landing yesterday.

I would rather keep him inside but the toolbox convinced DH that ne needs to ne able to pee and poo outside.

I think over the next few days we may let him out in the garden and see what he does.

He's quite slow so we would be able to grab him if he tried to peg it over the wall I think?

He's eating and drinking well and had almost completely abandoned his (open) crate in favour of our bed.

So he sleeps between DH and I now. Not even the heated mat can tempt him. I think I might set that up for ginger cat instead.

No fleas/bites for ages.

He's still loving his gourmet gold food.

Gingercat is more accepting now. They sit in the same room and have stopped growling at each other.

I think he's got slightly more wobbly on his back legs but have ordered him some supplements so hopefully that should help.

He meows and demands attention from everyone, with instant purrs as soon as he's touched.

I love him very much and have just got used to the smell of litter tray in my room now 🤣😅

OP posts:

Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 24/02/2025 12:45

I'm spending alot more time in my room though as he meows if he's left alone so if I have half an hour and I would usually sit on the couch I've found myself coming up here to be with him.

Picking up our cat that's been 'missing' for years

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Pudmyboy · 24/02/2025 12:59

Would he tolerate a harness and being escorted round the garden?
Edited to say: could you put a litter tray near the house for him to use? (Taking it out when he goes out so it's not left open to the elements)

NotISaidTheCat · 24/02/2025 13:16

I second the harness idea. We thought our old boy would completely refuse one, but he trotted outside with it on like he'd done it all his life.

Binglebong · 24/02/2025 14:21

Is it bad that i get excited whenever I see there's an update,?

Any idea why the dogs font like him?

Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 24/02/2025 14:52

Binglebong · 24/02/2025 14:21

Is it bad that i get excited whenever I see there's an update,?

Any idea why the dogs font like him?

They're really stupid, little dogs. They tolerate Gingercat but still randomly go mad at him when they realise he is a cat.

I think they know Vader is a cat and so aren't happy about him. It's mainly my pug, who is the ringleader.
My chihuahua has met him a few times and sat happily with him on my bed watching TV.

I've bought a set of wooden stepladders for the kitchen so he's got an easier way of getting onto the sides

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Binglebong · 24/02/2025 15:47

Dogs being dogs then, not much you can do.

Very impressed how well he's got you wrapped round his dew claw!

Floralnomad · 24/02/2025 16:08

It doesn’t sound like he’s going to get far if you let him out so I’d just go for it .

idril · 24/02/2025 16:43

We have a cat with multiple health issues and who often has to be kept inside after medical procedures. But he WILL NOT poo or wee in his litter tray and he gets really distressed when we won't let him out to go to the toilet so we just go outside with him. He goes to the toilet then comes straight back in. If he's slow, I'd definitely do that.

Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 01/03/2025 19:55

Slightly somber update today

Vader is still doing well. Good appetite and drinking lots.

I tried to put a harness on him to take him out but he really freaked out so didn't even manage to get it fastened.

I thought he had been doing quite well bathroom wise as there had been no apparent accidents in our room.

Turns out he's been going upstairs and pissing EVERYWHERE.
In the storage room, in my sons bedroom, in this little nook in the hall. In a tool bag. In my sons gym bag, all over his weights.

I told DH I can't have him just peeing all over the house and all Iver the kids belongings

And he sort of snapped at me about putting him to sleep (sarcastically)

I don't think he's at that point yet but his legs are regularly collapsing at the back.

And he's just pooping in the middle of the hall.

He has 3 litter trays now and I don't know if he isn't managing to get to them??

I don't know but it's been a difficult few days really.

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Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 01/03/2025 19:57

He's also stopped going downstairs so I don't think he wants to go outside? Because he's not even attempting to go downwards anymore and has lost interest in the windows.

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Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 01/03/2025 20:01

Sorry I didn't really expand on the situation. I think there's going to be a big difference in opinion of when the 'right time' is between my husband and I and I can see it's going to cause arguments :(

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Americano75 · 01/03/2025 20:04

If his legs are going then I think it might be coming closer to his time, and that's without the incontinence.

hereismydog · 01/03/2025 20:09

Oh OP

He doesn’t sound like a very happy or healthy boy anymore so perhaps he is telling you that he is ready to go now that he’s found his way back home to his family again. It’s the most awful decision to have to make, but I’m not sure he has much quality of life left. It may be time to let him bow out with a little of his dignity left

Floralnomad · 01/03/2025 20:09

I would imagine that his issues with using the house as a litter tray is likely the real reason that the ex neighbour wanted you to take him back , he’s hardly likely to say that though . I think with his mobility issues / continence problems he either needs confining in a room downstairs where he can have garden access or it would be reasonable to call it a day . 💐

Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 01/03/2025 20:17

hereismydog · 01/03/2025 20:09

Oh OP

He doesn’t sound like a very happy or healthy boy anymore so perhaps he is telling you that he is ready to go now that he’s found his way back home to his family again. It’s the most awful decision to have to make, but I’m not sure he has much quality of life left. It may be time to let him bow out with a little of his dignity left

That's the thing though, he is!

He never stops purring. He's just been playing with my son who was wiggling a shoelace about and he was playing like a kitten. He's eating 2/3 tins of food a day. Drinking fine. Coming to everyone for cuddles.

But he's just pissing and pooping all over. And when he jumps down from things his back legs go. But it's happened when he's just coming down a single step too a few times.

If he didn't seem so HAPPY I would think maybe it's not going to be long.

My husband is in complete denial though and just said he thinks he has a couple of years left.

😐

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Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 01/03/2025 20:18

Floralnomad · 01/03/2025 20:09

I would imagine that his issues with using the house as a litter tray is likely the real reason that the ex neighbour wanted you to take him back , he’s hardly likely to say that though . I think with his mobility issues / continence problems he either needs confining in a room downstairs where he can have garden access or it would be reasonable to call it a day . 💐

Unfortunately that's impossible. There are 2 rooms downstairs, one is the living room and one is my sons bedroom.

The dogs go through the kitchen to get outside so there's no where downstairs that is safe for him really :(

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TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 01/03/2025 21:49

There was an account I followed on instagram with a cat whose back legs were paralysed. The owner had little nappies for him and used baby wipes to clean him up, I think you can get them on Amazon. If he's otherwise purring, eating, drinking and seems happy then I don't think incontinence alone is a reason to call time.

I've just looked her up, her account is called cappybears. She has some videos on how she does it.

hereismydog · 01/03/2025 21:54

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 01/03/2025 20:17

That's the thing though, he is!

He never stops purring. He's just been playing with my son who was wiggling a shoelace about and he was playing like a kitten. He's eating 2/3 tins of food a day. Drinking fine. Coming to everyone for cuddles.

But he's just pissing and pooping all over. And when he jumps down from things his back legs go. But it's happened when he's just coming down a single step too a few times.

If he didn't seem so HAPPY I would think maybe it's not going to be long.

My husband is in complete denial though and just said he thinks he has a couple of years left.

😐

Show quote history

That’s just the thing with cats though, they’re great at pretending all is well my little old lady was still purring, playing and enjoying a thorough grooming session on her last night before we put her to sleep with stage 5 kidney failure, which we had no idea about until she became incredibly poorly over the course of two days because she still seemed so happy and content. The only clue was that she started vomiting, so we took her to the vet and they took bloods which showed awful results and then she came home and spiralled. Two days from vomiting to PTS

Americano75 · 01/03/2025 22:11

Floralnomad · 01/03/2025 20:09

I would imagine that his issues with using the house as a litter tray is likely the real reason that the ex neighbour wanted you to take him back , he’s hardly likely to say that though . I think with his mobility issues / continence problems he either needs confining in a room downstairs where he can have garden access or it would be reasonable to call it a day . 💐

Yep, first thing I thought. Imagine essentially stealing someone's beloved pet only to punt them back once things start getting tricky? What a shitehawk.

cherrytree12345 · 02/03/2025 07:54

I had this exact problem with a cat years ago, she was 13 at the time and was happy in herself. She was weeing and pooing everywhere, like you there was nowhere I could confine her to. After trying a couple of things the vet said it was dementia and there was nothing that could be done and sadly she had to be put to sleep.
You have certainly done everything possible to make him happy and comfortable

Original poster

KiffyKiffyKiffy · 02/03/2025 10:00

I do think he has dementia.

I tried to say it to DH last night and he got really mad.

He's a really chill guy and it's not in character for him. He shouted 'stop trying to kill my cat' :(

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Agapornis · 02/03/2025 12:33

I think your DH needs to hear it from a vet. Please bring him to the next vet visit.