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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Help, I don’t think I can give up kitten :(

81 replies

Aug12 · 03/01/2025 13:06

Hi all,

8 weeks ago, our cat had 2 kittens unexpectedly (unplanned and she has been neutered since so please don’t judge)

Anyway, the plan was always for us to keep one and a family friend to have the other. I know this home is a good loving, forever home, but I’ve been heartbroken all day at the thought of breaking up the cat family here. Mummy cat is currently cuddled in with her babies and they are all purring so loudly, I don’t know how I can break them up.. financially we can afford to keep the 3, insurance, fees etc is no issue. We said our friend could have one as they were looking for an family pet and it seemed like a perfect solution.. do I just need to rip the plaster off quickly and send him off or will we regret this? We have young kids that are sad about kitten leaving but they equally have excited children with all the kitten supplies ready awaiting the arrival this weekend. I didn’t expect to feel like this as I know he is going to a lovely new home but it’s hit me like a tonne of bricks.. all advice welcome.

OP posts:
PickledOwl1 · 03/01/2025 13:11

I think you stick to your original plan for the sake of your friend and her children and the agreement you have with her

If you really don't want to then you need to tell her today that you've changed your mind and expect some fall out unfortunately

GoldenPond88 · 03/01/2025 13:13

Keep your kittens, your friend can easily find another one but you can’t replace yours.

Solent123 · 03/01/2025 13:14

Can you give it a couple of weeks before you decide, mummy cat might start getting fed up with them, 8 weeks is fairly young to be re-homing them.

reesewithoutaspoon · 03/01/2025 13:15

They look all sweet and cuddly family now, but mum will soon start rebuffing them. Mine got to 3 months with her kittens then started to hiss and swipe and reject them.
Get her done as soon as you can, she will get pregnant very quickly if she gets out, even while feeding kittens

Newgreensofa · 03/01/2025 13:22

I think give it a little longer, just say they’re not quite ready to be separated. But I would also feel a duty to pass on the kitten - it’s a good example for your children that two families can share the litter and I’m sure you’d each visit the other family? I had two of my friend’s kittens and it’s a lovely bond. Make a kitty WhatsApp group for updates. I gave my friend a mug with my cats on the first Christmas and she loves it (well it’s out when I visit her 😂). Good luck with what you decide!

Original poster
Aug12 · 03/01/2025 13:23

Thanks all, she needed a c section so was spayed at the same time, this won’t be happening again. I didn’t realise there was a chance she would start rejecting them as they get older.. I know I’m totally unreasonable and I should of had a talk with her weeks ago about this.. I wonder if I could leave it another few weeks to see if she gets fed up with them as pp has suggested, however, if she doesn’t and we’ve all had an extra week or so together then it’s just prolonging it all :(

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 03/01/2025 13:26

I would not like to be the DM of the DC who are waiting expectantly for their kitten! I expect they won't be impressed with you and as you say you don't know what will change as they get bigger. Just do it.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 03/01/2025 13:31

Let the kitten go. Insurance etc. is all affordable when they are young but I have two 15 year old cats and the insurance costs me an absolute fortune now. Then there's the special diabetic food and the trips to the vets that aren't covered by the insurance.

SantaBakula · 03/01/2025 13:35

Can you imagine how your dcs would feel if they had been promised a kitten then told they could have it because friend wanted to keep them all to themselves?

whatusernameisavailabl · 03/01/2025 13:37

GoldenPond88 · 03/01/2025 13:13

Keep your kittens, your friend can easily find another one but you can’t replace yours.

This!

and I’ve just decided to keep two over one!

whatusernameisavailabl · 03/01/2025 13:38

Aug12 · 03/01/2025 13:06

Hi all,

8 weeks ago, our cat had 2 kittens unexpectedly (unplanned and she has been neutered since so please don’t judge)

Anyway, the plan was always for us to keep one and a family friend to have the other. I know this home is a good loving, forever home, but I’ve been heartbroken all day at the thought of breaking up the cat family here. Mummy cat is currently cuddled in with her babies and they are all purring so loudly, I don’t know how I can break them up.. financially we can afford to keep the 3, insurance, fees etc is no issue. We said our friend could have one as they were looking for an family pet and it seemed like a perfect solution.. do I just need to rip the plaster off quickly and send him off or will we regret this? We have young kids that are sad about kitten leaving but they equally have excited children with all the kitten supplies ready awaiting the arrival this weekend. I didn’t expect to feel like this as I know he is going to a lovely new home but it’s hit me like a tonne of bricks.. all advice welcome.

Just make sure you explain your reasoning to friend

as said I’ve just kept two over one and it’s the best thing…the whole developing together - they’ve only had the curtains down 4 times instead of 100..and left my older cat alone!

whatusernameisavailabl · 03/01/2025 13:41

Aug12 · 03/01/2025 13:23

Thanks all, she needed a c section so was spayed at the same time, this won’t be happening again. I didn’t realise there was a chance she would start rejecting them as they get older.. I know I’m totally unreasonable and I should of had a talk with her weeks ago about this.. I wonder if I could leave it another few weeks to see if she gets fed up with them as pp has suggested, however, if she doesn’t and we’ve all had an extra week or so together then it’s just prolonging it all :(

Ah l, cats and kittens dont bond like we do. Perfectly reasonable for adult cat to honk them after three months, she’s telling them to make their own way.

the siblings can benefit from being around each other but it’s a move whether they remain like that

whatusernameisavailabl · 03/01/2025 13:41

whatusernameisavailabl · 03/01/2025 13:41

Ah l, cats and kittens dont bond like we do. Perfectly reasonable for adult cat to honk them after three months, she’s telling them to make their own way.

the siblings can benefit from being around each other but it’s a move whether they remain like that

Show quote history

“Gamble”

Applepoop · 03/01/2025 13:42

I'd keep them both.

But you will have apologise sincerely to the family who were going to take him and also explain that the main reason is that you can't part the kitten from the mum because they are so happy together.

KeepinOn · 03/01/2025 13:44

I think you're being massively unfair to the other family, OP. By all means, keep them together for another week or two - I do think kittens are separated from their mothers too young and can often be neurotic adults as a result - but don't keep it forever.

SensibleSigma · 03/01/2025 13:45

My mother cat moved out leaving the kittens behind. She was very unimpressed with them after a while.

She was semi feral, mind, rather than properly part of the family. Think she only moved in due to pregnancy, which we weren’t aware of at the time.

NewYearSameOldSameOld · 03/01/2025 13:46

Don’t do it!!
I gave 2 of my rescue cat kittens away to my brother and kept one with mum. It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever done. Watching my darling cat look up and downstairs for her babies was soul destroying. It still upsets me now, 5 years later and wished we had kept them. I still miss them.
Your friend can get a kitten, or preferably 2, from somewhere else ( and yes I’m aware that that poor mother cat will then be howling for her babies 😭😭😭)

OohKittens · 03/01/2025 13:47

If both kittens are male I would keep them

dcbgr · 03/01/2025 14:00

Keep them. It is easier for her to find a new kitten than for you and your cat to give one up.

EmpressaurusKitty · 03/01/2025 14:05

8 weeks is too soon.

I fostered for a couple of years, & after about 3 months the mums were happy to see their kittens leaving. My last fosters were a mum & her one remaining unhomed kitten, who was about 6 months when he left with his new family - I swear Mum had a big grin on her face & gave a sigh of relief.

Whenismytime · 03/01/2025 14:09

Most cats will reject the kittens eventually. Likely the kindest thing for all of the animals involved would be to give your friend both kittens to give mum space.

Fartughtyred · 03/01/2025 14:10

I would keep them if you are able - Kittens are sadly not in short supply and I'm sure that your friend will have no difficulty in finding one that needs a home. I took on a very pregnant stray who quickly presented me with 4 kits, 2 male and 2 little black females just like mum. 4 years later they are all still together and whilst mum doesn't busy herself with them as before, she definitely knows that they are hers/ family and sits on top of the catio to keep an eye on them!

Mishmashs · 03/01/2025 14:10

I think stick to your word. We got out kittens at 12 weeks old and the boy was meant to stay with his mum and we just take the girl, but the mum started rejecting him and hissing/keep away etc so we got him too! Your friends kids will be so excited and probably counting down the days. Why not keep the kitten another couple of weeks and hand over at 10-11 weeks?

Whenismytime · 03/01/2025 14:10

But wait longer.. rehome them at 12 weeks.

DoodlesMam · 03/01/2025 14:11

should only take kittens away at 12 weeks. they need to be socialised with mum