Help, I don’t think I can give up kitten :(

[Aug12]

Hi all,

8 weeks ago, our cat had 2 kittens unexpectedly (unplanned and she has been neutered since so please don’t judge)

Anyway, the plan was always for us to keep one and a family friend to have the other. I know this home is a good loving, forever home, but I’ve been heartbroken all day at the thought of breaking up the cat family here. Mummy cat is currently cuddled in with her babies and they are all purring so loudly, I don’t know how I can break them up.. financially we can afford to keep the 3, insurance, fees etc is no issue. We said our friend could have one as they were looking for an family pet and it seemed like a perfect solution.. do I just need to rip the plaster off quickly and send him off or will we regret this? We have young kids that are sad about kitten leaving but they equally have excited children with all the kitten supplies ready awaiting the arrival this weekend. I didn’t expect to feel like this as I know he is going to a lovely new home but it’s hit me like a tonne of bricks.. all advice welcome.

Contact CPL.. We got a lone dkitten 4 years ago. Try help your friend find a dkitten and you keep yours... Surely she can tell her dc it wanted to stay with it's dm..?

And we did find kittens in short supply! We went via a rescue and they were very sniffy about us having young kids (then 2 and 5) and did a full home inspection but because I was an experienced cat owner they let us have a sibling pair. People don’t advertise kittens on Facebook efc anymore and around us most people had their cats done so there just wasn’t that word of mouth of kittens becoming available.

Keep the kitten. Your friend can find a cat elsewhere easily enough. Just explain your kids have grown too attached, she will understand.

Please don't rehome until a minimum of 12 weeks but ideally 14. They are still learning so much from their mother at 8 weeks and they really need those extra few weeks to gain more skills and set them up for life.

The mother may have enough of them and start getting sissy but she may not and they may stay quite happily as a family unit of 3.

There's are lots of kittens in rescues all the time if your friend really wants a kitten.

Sad to say we had mother and kitten (only surviving one). When kitten was about 20 weeks old mother turned nasty and was hissing at him. Having googled it is quiet common and natural for them to be separated.
Doesn't help you but you need to be prepared.

We fostered a cat that was pregnant and went on to have 2 kittens. We ended up keeping them all. 😅

Mum never rejected them, they all love each other and are currently all sleeping curled up together, 6 years later!

Yep, I had a father and son duo. They loved each other.

I couldn’t do this to the family op. So they’ve been waiting for this kitten for weeks? They’ve probably really emotionally bonded to it already. 8 weeks is a perfectly normal age to rehome a kitten. If they’d wanted any other kitten from a rescue or whatever, then surely they’d have just gone out and got one instead of waiting for weeks/months for the one you promised them to be ready. They’ve got the supplies ready, they’ve probably even named it.

Your also putting human emotions on your cat.
Who in a few weeks won't be interested in those kittens.

This. I got let down on a kitten years ago, I was distraught as in my head he was already ‘mine’. The owner had a better friend than me who asked for him, so she gave him to him instead. A few weeks later his circumstances changed and he couldn’t keep the kitten anymore. The owner contacted me to say I could have him now, but I’d already got another one. It pissed my right off tbh, and she had the gall to be annoyed with me for not taking him weeks later! He ended up in a pretty shitty home eventually when he would have been treated like a king with me. Better to let the kitten go to a good home now, it’s shit to go back on your word over such an emotive thing, and imagine the heartbreak if mum decides she’s had enough of them

Thanks all for giving my head a wobble. I know their kiddos have been very excited for this kitten and it wouldn’t be right to stop this kitten from having a good life in a loving home, especially if it’s a gamble that mum will even like her kitties in a few weeks time. Those saying I am putting human emotions on to a cat is completely correct, I am not seeing things they way cats do and I understand now that they don’t develop bonds with their babies in the way we do. I will go ahead with tomorrow as planned, we will still get to visit him and I’m sure we will get lots of updates and pics etc

I will go ahead with tomorrow as planned, we will still get to visit him and I’m sure we will get lots of updates and pics etc.

If you can persuade them to wait just a few more weeks it would be much kinder to the kitten.

@Aug12

DO NOT GIVE A KITTEN AWAY AT 8 WEEKS OLD!!

They should be 12/13 weeks.

I would wait another few weeks. Lots of rescues and breeders do rehome at 8 weeks but it’s mostly down to cost and space. Kittens are much better with mum until about 12 weeks. I think even pets4homes which is a terrible site say that. When we were fostering, before we decided to keep them, our vet said 12 weeks is the best time as well.

Cats naturally live in communities, and should never be homed singly, so if you don't keep them then your friend should have both together.

Personally I would keep them (and get mum spayed asap). Your friend can go to a rescue, they are overflowing with cats needing homes (and they will only home kittens in pairs as that's best for them).

The op is already distraught. She doesn’t need her thread derailed by the cat psycho brigade ranting about rehoming ages. 8 weeks is fine, if she went to a rescue tomorrow they’d give her an 8 week kitten

I kept one of my cat's kittens many years ago, and the mother ended up hating her with a passion. I don't think there was ever a day when she didn't hiss or swipe at her and mum lived to be 20, so that was a lot of hissing! I was told many times that mother cats are more likely to turn against female kittens rather than males , but I don't know how true that is. I don't know what I would do in your position - I found it very sad when the other three kittens went to new homes.

They will get over it, it doesn't live with them yet, it's just an idea at the moment, there are plenty of other kittens in rescues breeding homes that they will get equally attached to.

I'm 40 years old and had a lot of cats since childhood
Every single kitten has been picked up at 8 weeks and never been an issue!

That doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t have been better to wait til 12 weeks.

Agree,8 weeks is too soon. 12 weeks is the youngest I would let them go

Maybe it's better to wait till 16 weeks? 20 weeks?

Who's decided this? It's always been 8 weeks

I would keep the kitten, your friend will find it easy to get another one at a rescue and would love it just as much.
I have two cats that I got as kittens and whilst the kitten would be fine moving, mine were so happy playing together and exploring together, then cuddling up and falling asleep.

My mum and daughter duo (torties) hate each other.

Isn't it 12 weeks because the mum would naturally wean them around 10/11/12 weeks old?