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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

How to get a cuddly cat who loves to sit on your lap

86 replies

Kittykat86 · 27/10/2024 19:44

I know all cats have different temperaments but I would really love to get an easygoing cat who likes to sit beside me on the sofa, will sit on my lap and sleep etc,
Is there any way to find a cat /kitten like this? Would male or female be better,? tabby or ginger or what breed? Or does it even matter? I really love the British short hair breed

OP posts:
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LaChatte · 27/10/2024 19:47

Best thing would be to visit a rescue and meet some middle-aged kitties as then you'll know what you're getting.

EmpressaurusDelleGatte · 27/10/2024 19:48

Look for a local rescue where all the cats are fostered in volunteers’ homes & they’ll be able to tell you about their personalities & what they’re like to live with.

HighburyLass · 27/10/2024 19:49

We have had 2 (not kittens) from Battersea and they had got a very good idea of the cat's temperament. So maybe getting an older cat may be less of a risk if you really do want a lap cat.

JMSA · 27/10/2024 19:50

In my experience, males are more cuddly and chilled.
I know plenty will disagree - and sure it's a generalisation - but as I say, I can only speak of my own experience with cats.

CatGuardian · 27/10/2024 19:51

Yes, look at cat shelters' information about their cats and tell them this is what you want - some ask on the forms if you want playful, lap cat and so on. They will also know the cats' personalities.

EmpressaurusDelleGatte · 27/10/2024 19:51

It’s also really, really important to recognise that there are no guarantees with cats though.

RachelNoire · 27/10/2024 19:57

You have to accept what you have, you can’t change their personalities or anything.

they have to be allowed to be themselves, just give them their best life and they’ll be happy

PortiasBiscuit · 27/10/2024 19:58

Ragdoll. They are effectively brain dead and will stay where they are put.

Ilovemyshed · 27/10/2024 20:00

I do think it is partly personality and partly how you engage with them. Cats take a while to trust and with our boy it was a good year or so before he really chilled out. It was as much about letting him have his own space and reading his body language.

I never ever ever hold onto him if he doesn't want it, and he has a safe space igloo that we never intrude on.

Result is a lovely cuddly boy who will now take a lot of affection.

Minikievs · 27/10/2024 20:45

I agree with a pp experience that boys are more cuddly

Floralnomad · 27/10/2024 20:49

Get a Siamese ( or 2) love people , always want to be your friend . We had a Ragdoll and although he was friendly he was aloof .

aveenobambino · 27/10/2024 20:51

British shorthairs are a wonderful docile breed but most would rather die than lower themselves to actually willingly sit on a humans lap. They're loving and amazing pets - I've had many over decades but none have ever been lap cats. They'll cuddle up next to you but no closer. Recently rescued an older moggy and can't believe how much she loves curling up on my lap as soon as I get home from work! I'm still getting used to it 6 months later!

purser25 · 27/10/2024 20:51

I think boy cats are more cuddly. Ours was a rescue. Sometimes you can have too much of a good thing 7 kilos of cat can make you numb. Especially after an hour our more. One night I nursed him put him on the chair and changed chair and so did he. Love him lots really.

niadainud · 27/10/2024 20:52

LaChatte · 27/10/2024 19:47

Best thing would be to visit a rescue and meet some middle-aged kitties as then you'll know what you're getting.

I agree with this. I had to wait five years for mine to become a lap cat and it was never guaranteed.

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 27/10/2024 20:57

I have one who crawls up chest and sits on my boobs, also curls up in the crook of my arm and goes to sleep with his head on my chest or gently nuzzles my neck.

He was a really shy timid cat that kept getting overlooked in the rescue and had been there for about 4 months. I always say he's like a living teddy bear.

His older sister would come up and fall asleep on my chest at night or sit next to me on the arm of the sofa and put all four of her legs around my arm so she was hugging it and I could tickle her belly.

I think it's partly down to their temperament and partly down to the person and household they live in.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/10/2024 20:59

Be allergic

Like me

Any cat that has been absent will come home if I sit on their sofa and chat to their mummy and daddy 😄

And they jump on me and do the kneading with paws and curl up 😂

By which time I turf them off - gently

BobbyBiscuits · 27/10/2024 21:04

All the cats I've ever had have loved sitting on laps and cuddling. I think it might help if you get them from a baby, and get them used to being on you/near you etc. some older cats might be more set in their ways or a bit less agile to jump up on you and get comfy.

HappyHolidai · 27/10/2024 21:11

I agree about getting an older cat and asking about their preferences.

I think it's a personality thing. I've had 2 boy cats and 2 girl cats and 50% have been lap sleepers and 50% next-to-me-but-never-on-the-lap ones. One boy and one girl in each category.

MyMumTracyBeaker · 27/10/2024 21:17

Agree with getting an older cat from a rescue. Our lovely boy was 4 when we got him, and had written on his web page notes, “friendly with strangers” (and “toilet trained”!). When we went to visit him, he immediately came out of his little pod, went straight up to dd and started rubbing against her legs and purring. He loves nothing more than a massive cuddle and to sit on/next to us. Love him to bits.

SmallGreenBabies · 27/10/2024 21:18

Another vote here for visiting a cat shelter. If you like the look of a cat, sometimes they will let you hang out together in a private room for a while. That's what we did with ours, he was scared for a few moments then straight over onto our laps for a cuddle. And sure enough he is the ultimate lap cat! 😊

ohmymyyiaz · 27/10/2024 21:28

I got a British shorthair X two weeks ago (she’s almost 10 weeks old). She would climb up and sleep on my lap when I’m wfh or watching tv 😻

I read that their personality develops around 12months so hoping she stays the same. Very clingy and wants attention all the time atm!

JoanOgden · 27/10/2024 21:29

I got my rescue when she was 7. Her fosterers told me that to begin with she would be a bit shy, but when she felt at home she would be insanely affectionate and want to snuggle on me for hours. This proved entirely accurate Grin

GoFaster83 · 27/10/2024 22:08

Mine has his moments. It's like he's working a timetable throughout the day. Certain times I grab him and he's absolutely not for a cuddle. Next thing I know (usually when I'm just about to get up to the bathroom) he's all over me and sucking on my oodie. Which sounds ruder than it is. He just likes the fleece.

NorthWestWoes · 27/10/2024 22:11

You also have to sit down a lot to start with (I fulfil this requirement and therefore I have a lap cat).

GoFaster83 · 27/10/2024 22:11

I cross my legs for 40 minutes and let him snuggle away- despite how covered in cat spit I get. Next morning ill try to pick him up and he'll bite me like the whole thing didn't happen