Senior cat being PTS, when is the right time?

[Kit24]

My senior cat has cancer and will need to be put to sleep soon. I am thinking of taking her in next week but I’m finding it difficult to let her go. She is still finding joy in life but in my heart, I know she won’t improve. The type of cancer she has is aggressive and the tumour has been growing over the last couple of weeks.

Today I’ve been spending time with her in the garden and she seems so happy. Rolling around on the ground, trying to catch blades of grass and sleeping in the sun. Part of me feels like I am doing the wrong thing but then I look at her and see that slowly, she’s losing her spark. Usually she runs to greet me in the morning but today she was slow and sleepy and took ages to get up from where she sleeps on the coffee table. The vet said to bring her in when she’s stopped doing basic things like eating, drinking and using the litter tray. She’s still doing all this but I worry she’s hiding her pain from me.

She was over grooming last week (I think because she was in pain) and using her scratching post more than usual so I went to the vet and asked for some stronger pain relief in a last ditch attempt to give her more time. The vet nurse was kind but she told me that the tumour is growing fast and by now it will be causing problems for her so I need to think about making the decision. She said it didn’t matter that she was still eating because animals will always try to eat as a survival instinct. I agreed with what she said but I am not in a good frame of mind and I got quite tearful (a bit embarrassing in front of the whole waiting room.) As it goes, the pills taste horrible and it’s a struggle to make my cat take them, even disguised in cheese and tuna etc. She spits them out so she’s missing doses sometimes.

I live with my sister who shares the cat with me. She is reluctant to euthanise her and wants to take each day at a time. But our cat is not going to get any better and I don’t want her to suffer. And then I remember how she was so happy in the garden today and I don’t know whether it’s the right decision.

I am not sleeping well because of worry about our lovely girl and also about losing her. I dread phoning and making the appointment, having to put her in the carrier and take her to the vet (she hates it) and I can’t bear to go home without her. I keep thinking about how empty the house will be and how all her things will still be here. Yet I know it needs to be done. I’ve never had to make this decision before and it’s so hard. I considered home euthanasia but my sister doesn’t want that and I don’t think our vet offers it anyway.

Does anyone have advice on how to know when the right time is? And how to cope with such a sad day?

Having had several elderly and much loved cats myself, I can concur that it is a very difficult decision to know when is the right time and horrid to have to go through the trip to the vets.

I think as long as your cat is happy and enjoying playing or lying in the sun/ happy to go out etc then there is still some time. It's when they stop eating, stop grooming, stop enjoying things that there is the signal that you are near the end.

It is a hard decision but I have found having a conversation with a vet I trust, perhaps on the phone rather than at the building, before having to make the trip is helpful so you are aware of the procedure required and therefore calmer yourself.

Also the following things have helped me and maybe useful for you too when the time comes:

Once the decision was made, I had human company so that I had someone else to drive to the vets primarily so I could keep an eye on my cat and also if I was upset afterwards I didn't have to drive myself home.

The vets also gave me plenty of time with my cat beforehand so that I didn't feel rushed and bless them they even cleared out all other appointments whilst I was there too.

I kept a little bit of fluff from my cat which I had in a pocket for a while. Some people might find that creepy but it was comforting in the early days.

My partner cleared away all cat things and photos before I got home (just in the loft, not given away) so there were no physical reminders when I returned. I even left the cat carrier at the vets. It helped in the early days afterwards and gradually I was able to get the photos out again and think about getting another cat (which I have done three times now).

I did make sure that close friends and family were aware the cat was gone so that they were sympathetic/ didn't keep asking me about the cat etc. Again, mainly my partner did that communication in the early days.

I made plans on the day of the vet visit so that I had company and distraction and wasn't going home straight after the procedure.

We opted to let our girl go “well” when she was diagnosed with large cell intestinal lymphoma rather than wait until she deteriorated and suffered. She was only ten, and my heart is still broken but I couldn’t have coped seeing her stop eating and become frail. We took the pain so she didn’t have to.

Over the years we've had 3 cats PTS, I read a comment from a vet who said its better to do it a day too early than a day too late. If they are telling you in the surgery the time has come, please listen. I know its hard but its a sad part of pet ownership.

You can ask the vet for a home visit?
I had to PTS my 20 year old a few weeks ago. Broke my heart but I knew it was right for her.

We have had three cats PTS in our time.

Like you, I agonised over when was 'The Day'.

The lovely vet nurse said to me 'Honestly, better a day too early than a day too late' and she's right.

Sending you the biggest love.

I was someone who waited a day too late rather than a day too early and I will regret it until the end of my days. I've still got his brother. He's got some issues now and I won't be making the same mistake.

Tomorrow.

please phone your vet at 9 am or whenever they open. Make the appointment for tomorrow.

it is hard, it is horrible but you have to do it.

and your sister needs to be told that it is cruel to allow a pet to suffer / to suffer longer than necessary.

please ask if your vet will come to your home, if you don't ask you won't know.

or put up a request on social media for your area, I have one called Spotted Torquay on Facebook and I would find that other pet owners will say x y and z will come to your home.

you need to be big and brave and put your feelings to one side, the vet nurse very kindly told you last week.

Oh, I feel for you. I am looking at this with my boy who has aggressive kidney disease. He's not even 3 years old. We're taking it one day at a time and I'm very much of the rather one day early than one day late school of thought so I'm watching him and making sure he still has quality of life. It's hard.

It's so sad to be facing this decision, if you're unable to get painkillers down, then she is suffering and you need to be firm with your sister, could she endure cancer with no pain relief?
Call the vet and ask for a home visit.

I’m sorry @Kit24 it’s an awful feeling, I had to do the same this year - also for a fast growing tumour. My cat did stop eating though. We had a few more days with him once he was eating very little, he still seemed happy and was rolling around outside like yours. We took loads of photos and loved on him plenty. It was awful knowing it was looming though. I just looked at him struggling to walk one day and knew it was time to let him go. It was extremely difficult. We paid extra for a vet to come to the house and do it at home, I couldn’t face taking him to the vets for it. My own vet didn’t offer that but another local one did and they were lovely and came on a weekend, it was quick and peaceful. We buried him at home.

I think you’ll know when it’s time, but it’s not easy making that call. They say better a day too soon than a moment too late. My cat loved being outside so I couldn’t keep him in, but I was worried at the end that he’d take himself off to die, that terrified me.

If the vet nurse said they still attempt to eat then you have your answer.
When mine was ill I was told it could be an infection that would respond to antibiotics or indeed cancer.
Midweek she was no better so I called the vets who agreed to PTS.
It was lockdown so I couldn't stay with her and brought her home to be buried in the garden.
It broke my heart and at least she wasn't suffering and like you were had one last afternoon in the sun.

Btw how much is a home visit in these circumstances.?

@whatisforteamum it cost me £170 for home euthanasia. That was with no cremation as we buried ours at home.

Another strong recommendation for a home vet visit if it's possible.

Thanks everyone. I’m not sure a home visit would be the best choice for us as my sister has young children, some with SEN, and I think it would be very upsetting for them. There is also the thought that we will forever be looking at the place where she died when walking past and that will be too hard. She doesn’t enjoy going to the vet, like most animals, but she is used to it and is always calm.

I feel such guilt about it and the responsibility of making the decision to end her life. But I don’t, her illness will and it will be much worse. I want the best for her. She’s on liquid Loxicom and another pill. I will try again tonight to persuade her to eat it.

Sending love to all who have lost cats 💐 it’s so hard.

Your poor kitty. I think the sooner the better really is the kindest way.
Both my last two died of cancer, my boy died at home, and my girl was PTS. It's sad either way. But I think if I could change what I did I'd probably have had Spike PTS a week or so before he passed, as he may have suffered unnecessarily. Hindsight and all that. But like you I was very unsure of the right time.
A tip for getting cats to take pills as well, for his pain relief, is crush it into a blob or marmite.
Works every time with all of mine.

As others have said, better too soon than too late.

I know it’s a hard decision but we owe it to our pets not to let them suffer. They bring us so much happiness in their lifetimes, I think the least we can do is ensure they pass away as painlessly as possible.

We recently had to make this decision. Mine was 18, had more or less stopped eating but still have enjoyment from life. The vet told us we would know when it was time. It was incredibly stressful, but the vet was right. One day we just knew today was the day. We had a really lovely, but sad day with him and he was PTS in the afternoon. I think we did with the one day early rather than one day late approach. We suffered, but I don’t think he did too much. I miss him like crazy 😢

💐💐💐💐💐to all of us who have lost a beloved furry friend, the hole in our hearts never fully heals but becomes a tender (in the sense of kind, loving) bruise...
@Kit24 so very sorry you have this hard decision, but trust your instincts, no-one knows your cat as well as you, and if you have noticed significant changes, and more, you can feel it is time, then it is time. You will always love her, and carry her in your heart forever ❤️

Blue Cross and the Ralph Site offer excellent pet bereavement support. There will be information on their sites which may help you pinpoint the right timing.

https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

https://www.theralphsite.com/

Ultimately you know your own pet so trust your judgement. I do agree with the sentiment that a little too early is better then too late. I also feel like when the decision is an inevitability it is better to make it when you can retain some control eg over who is there etc rather than risk the decision being forced in a crisis. That being said there is no making it easy, I'm sorry OP.

It'll probably be much nicer for your cat to be held & stroked in her own garden.

Can your ds take her dc out for a bit? No one needs to tell any of them exactly where poor dcat went to sleep.

It does sound like it's time. It's hard, but it's your responsibility to see her gently out of this world.

When my husband took our cat to the vet's, he told me to 'just prepare yourself, cos he's really not well. So he might not be coming home'.

He was such a good puss cat, bless him. I do miss him.

He was 19, so he'd had a good innings, etc.

OP, i wish you all the best for your lovely puss cat.

@CorvusPurpureus Would the vet be able to do it in the garden? I don’t really know anything about the process of home euthanasia. Our cat is nervous of strangers in the home and will often hide under the sofa or in the bushes if outside so it could be difficult.

Can only suggest you phone and ask, most vets will try and work with you. Please be with your cat if you possibly can. Hard for you but reassuring for your cat. Thinking of you

We are going to book to have her pts this week so I’ll phone tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice about what exactly to say or what questions they might ask? I’ve never had to do this before and I feel very emotional. We will be taking her in to do it there.