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Original poster

Grief

77 replies

PumpkinSpicedTea · 30/03/2024 09:30

My beautiful baby boy had to be put to sleep yesterday after heart failure being diagnosed in January. I knew we wouldn't have long but didn't make it any easier. He was 10 and I've had him longer than I've had my children.

I seem OK when in the living room but as soon as I go in another room, particularly the kitchen, I break down and can't stop crying. My husband is working today so trying to be strong for my girls but it's so hard..

Need to get out the house today which will help but I am so heartbroken.

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WombatCowgirl · 30/03/2024 09:40

I'm so sorry for your loss, he had a perfect life with you and you will never forget him. I hope you can have a good cry but also look at pictures and remember the love you shared? Eventually maybe plant a little tree in a place he loved?

Original poster
PumpkinSpicedTea · 30/03/2024 09:50

Thank you @WombatCowgirl I have been looking at pictures today and planting something is a lovely idea x

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RickyGervaislovesdogs · 30/03/2024 09:53

🌷I’m sorry for your loss.

It’s always hard, every single time.

You have to try and remember the happy times, that they had a lovely life. The pain will fade in time. I think there’s a lot of guilt involved sometimes, we can’t help it because we had to take them, we had to watch and for awhile that’s all we can remember. But you let your boy go peacefully, he didn’t suffer or linger and that in itself is a gift. Soon, the good memories will replace the heavy loss you feel.

Churchview · 30/03/2024 09:58

I'm so sorry for you OP. Our darling pets are so beloved that losing them causes an indescribable pain. You must have so many happy memories of your dear boy and I hope the knowledge that he was so loved and couldn't have had a better life will bring you comfort

Allthecatseverywhereallatonce · 30/03/2024 10:20

Ah I am so sorry, it is a different sort of loss when you lose a fluffy friend. 💐

mondaytosunday · 30/03/2024 10:22

That's terrible I'm sorry you have lost your little friend.
I am quite pragmatic about our pets. Maybe because, at 62, I've had quite a number pass through my life.
We have two dogs and two cats now, and I do worry about my (young adult) children when the older dog (approaching 15) goes. We got him a month before my husband passed away, so he was a constant since they were little and something to focus on through tough times.

Toddlerteaplease · 30/03/2024 11:18

It's awful. But it does get better.

Isometimeswonder · 30/03/2024 11:25

I'm sorry. Pets are so important, really are part of the family.
You have to grieve, it's natural.
Perhaps choose a lovely photo and get it made into a picture for the wall x

Original poster
PumpkinSpicedTea · 30/03/2024 14:15

You're all so lovely, I really appreciate all your comments. It's good to hear from people that truly understand. I'm sorry to everyone who has gone through this ❤️

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whirlyhead · 30/03/2024 14:21

That’s so sad. I’m sorry. I lost one to heart failure a few years ago but it was quick and he died at home which helped. Here’s my boy - can you share a picture of yours?

Grief
Original poster
PumpkinSpicedTea · 30/03/2024 14:26

Aww @whirlyhead he is just gorgeous. I'm so sorry you went through that. An awful disease.

Here is a photo of my boy just a few weeks ago. Looking at him you wouldn't know until you saw him breathing as fluid was gathered round his lungs. We had it drained in January then two weeks later it was back again.

Grief
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ohthejoys21 · 30/03/2024 17:51

What a gorgeous boy. It's just so horrible. Wont stop the pain of his loss but what a lucky boy to have been so loved.

Patsy321 · 31/03/2024 11:44

So sorry for your loss. We lost ours in the summer the same way - such a sudden turn downhill after seeming to be healthy, but a late hyperthyroidism diagnosis with the breathing difficulties & fluid on lungs too and later revealed heart damage… kindest thing was to let them go, ours was 12 and never ill before, always so lively & energetic up until their last couple of weeks… thought we had many more years together… let yourself cry and grieve… it’s traumatic losing them like that. Lots of love and healing. They’ll always be in your heart.

Pudmyboy · 31/03/2024 19:21

So sorry for your loss, what a lovely boy, so lovely for you to have been in each others life. It is so hard, I lost my beloved Pud in January and it still hurts so much, but I know I did all I could for him, which is a sort of comfort despite the hurt. I hope you get solace from knowing you did all you could and that you loved him, and he loved you too I am sure 💐

Original poster
PumpkinSpicedTea · 01/04/2024 10:37

You're all being so kind. It's really helping.

@Patsy321 I'm sorry this happened to your cat as well. That was the worst part was he seemed totally himself except having the fluid and the breathing. It wasn't until the last days that it got worse gradually but also suddenly, it that makes sense.

Did anyone feel guilty about how overwhelming upset they were? My friends Dad died last year and I feel a bit embarrassed at how upset I've been over my cat. Saturday was the worst I actually felt like my heart was broken and such a horrible feeling like I needed to sleep / pass out.

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Shiveringinthecountry · 01/04/2024 13:04

I'm so sorry to hear this. It just breaks your heart Flowers

Shiveringinthecountry · 01/04/2024 13:06

Don't feel guilty at the grief, btw. My little dog died 5 years ago, a fortnight before my father. I loved my father dearly, but it was the death of my dog that really broke me as she was really only half way through what should have been her life, and it was quite sudden. My father had been ill for a long time, and I was happy for him (and us) that he got his release. Anyone who has pets will understand how you feel. They're family just as much as the human members of our families Flowers

Original poster
PumpkinSpicedTea · 01/04/2024 14:11

@Shiveringinthecountry thanks for telling you story. It makes me see it from another perspective. My wee boy hadn't lived as long as he should have done and I've had him longer than I've had my children 😂

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ILoveNigelTufnel · 01/04/2024 21:44

So sorry for your loss @PumpkinSpicedTea he’s a very handsome boy. People on here get it - I had so much support it was brilliant.

I had my cat Posey put to sleep in December and posted on here. Couldn’t talk to anyone about it in ‘real life’ as I didn’t think they’d understand. We’d had another family bereavement (a human one) the week before and I was holding it together okish until Posey took a turn for the worst. She was part of the family for over 17 years and I had had her since she was small kitten.

I still feel like my heart is broken but I am not crying half as much. (She says whilst sitting here crying because she’s reading about other people are sad and it's horrible).

Your boy knew he was loved and you have to be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. He was an important part of the family. Sending a big hug xx

Flev · 02/04/2024 11:05

I hear you. We have an appointment this afternoon to take my beautiful old man Timothy to be put to sleep. A week ago we took him to the vet because he wasn't right, and they found a mass in his stomach. Since then he's gone downhill fast - he has completely stopped eating, is exhausted, and anything he tries to drink goes straight through him. He's currently sat in the sun next to me and I'm trying not to count the hours. We think he's about 18, I've had him for an amazing 13 years and he is a true rescue cat - he rescued me from a very dark place. I know it's the last loving thing I can do for him, but just cannot imagine going on without him.

Grief
Igmum · 02/04/2024 11:18

What beautiful boys. Sending love to all, it is devastating when they pass away, you are losing a member of the family. I'm sure your girls feel as sad as you do

NobbyNobbs · 02/04/2024 11:21

PumpkinSpicedTea · 30/03/2024 14:26

Aww @whirlyhead he is just gorgeous. I'm so sorry you went through that. An awful disease.

Here is a photo of my boy just a few weeks ago. Looking at him you wouldn't know until you saw him breathing as fluid was gathered round his lungs. We had it drained in January then two weeks later it was back again.

What a gorgeous chap.
I'm so very sorry. It's very, very hard. They are with us not quite long enough, yet we are their whole lives. Their world. He was loved. He knew that.

Try and feel the spring sun on your face in the next few days. It makes your loss a tiny bit bearable Flowers

ILoveNigelTufnel · 02/04/2024 14:31

Flev · 02/04/2024 11:05

I hear you. We have an appointment this afternoon to take my beautiful old man Timothy to be put to sleep. A week ago we took him to the vet because he wasn't right, and they found a mass in his stomach. Since then he's gone downhill fast - he has completely stopped eating, is exhausted, and anything he tries to drink goes straight through him. He's currently sat in the sun next to me and I'm trying not to count the hours. We think he's about 18, I've had him for an amazing 13 years and he is a true rescue cat - he rescued me from a very dark place. I know it's the last loving thing I can do for him, but just cannot imagine going on without him.

Edited

Sending lots of love to you. Timothy is beautiful - lovely for him to be able to sit in the sun with you knowing that he is loved.

You’re right that is the last loving thing you can do for him but it’s still a very hard thing to have to decide to do. There’s a saying about how doing the right thing isn’t always easy that has kept me going. It’s bloody awful though!!

Original poster
PumpkinSpicedTea · 02/04/2024 14:35

ILoveNigelTufnel · 01/04/2024 21:44

So sorry for your loss @PumpkinSpicedTea he’s a very handsome boy. People on here get it - I had so much support it was brilliant.

I had my cat Posey put to sleep in December and posted on here. Couldn’t talk to anyone about it in ‘real life’ as I didn’t think they’d understand. We’d had another family bereavement (a human one) the week before and I was holding it together okish until Posey took a turn for the worst. She was part of the family for over 17 years and I had had her since she was small kitten.

I still feel like my heart is broken but I am not crying half as much. (She says whilst sitting here crying because she’s reading about other people are sad and it's horrible).

Your boy knew he was loved and you have to be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. He was an important part of the family. Sending a big hug xx

@ILoveNigelTufnel thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry you lost your wee Posey xx

The heartbroken feeling is just awful. I can't imagine it getting better.

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Original poster
PumpkinSpicedTea · 02/04/2024 14:37

Flev · 02/04/2024 11:05

I hear you. We have an appointment this afternoon to take my beautiful old man Timothy to be put to sleep. A week ago we took him to the vet because he wasn't right, and they found a mass in his stomach. Since then he's gone downhill fast - he has completely stopped eating, is exhausted, and anything he tries to drink goes straight through him. He's currently sat in the sun next to me and I'm trying not to count the hours. We think he's about 18, I've had him for an amazing 13 years and he is a true rescue cat - he rescued me from a very dark place. I know it's the last loving thing I can do for him, but just cannot imagine going on without him.

Edited

@Flev I'm so sorry. He is a lovely looking boy. It's so hard when you know it's the right thing and it's sad on that last day so please take care and come back here for some support and hugs. We can hand hold through this if you feel up to it.

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