Grief

[PumpkinSpicedTea]

My beautiful baby boy had to be put to sleep yesterday after heart failure being diagnosed in January. I knew we wouldn't have long but didn't make it any easier. He was 10 and I've had him longer than I've had my children.

I seem OK when in the living room but as soon as I go in another room, particularly the kitchen, I break down and can't stop crying. My husband is working today so trying to be strong for my girls but it's so hard..

Need to get out the house today which will help but I am so heartbroken.

@NobbyNobbs thank you for your kind words. I'm in Scotland so sadly no sun at the moment 😆 but I am going to focus on spring and the new season.

We've just let Timothy go. He gave us a final gift by not vomiting on the way to the vet - I think that's the only time he's ever done that. We gave him the best last week we could.

Massive hugs @Flev 💐

Massive hugs to you and your family. You have done the hardest but kindest thing. He will have known how much he was loved and that’s the important bit. Xx

So sorry @Flev and @PumpkinSpicedTea and anyone else whose recently had to go through this.

I've ended up with a so called 'temporary' black panther lodger who I can't now imagine not having around. He's been a bit naughty all day but is getting extra cuddles tonight and maybe a few Dreamies in honour of your lovely cats.

I'm so sorry @Flev

I am so sorry for all your losses. It's horrible.

I've had cats all my life and it never gets any easier. When our boy died 2 years ago, he was about 20 (had been a stray) I couldn't cope with a cat-less house so I adopted 2 rescue girls and a new rescue boy a couple of months ago. They don't replace the one you lost but they lift your spirits xx

I have been through this today with my beautiful cat and I feel absolutely wretched this evening. The vet said she could try increasing her meds to see if that helped with the symptoms (she had terminal cancer) but I was worried that she was suffering. Now I wish I had just brought her home for a few weeks more. She would be snuggled on my lap now. I'm trying to keep it together for the kids but I just don't know what to do with myself. I can't believe she won't be here to greet me in the morning.

You did the kindest, bravest thing you could have. Hugs xx

What gorgeous cats!

We lost a cat to heart failure after missed hypothyroidism. She was such a lovely cat and it seemed to happen very quickly as cats don’t tell you anything is wrong. We also lost our lovely boy in January to a probable tumour.

Please don’t feel guilty about how you feel. I lost my Dad suddenly and it was obviously beyond awful but I still remember how devastated I was when my one of my cats died. Grief is a very personal thing and can’t be categorised.

I am so sorry for your loss - I agree that you did the very kindest thing possible for her. 💐

So sorry @Flev - sending hugs 💐

Sending hugs to you @Flev and @PumpkinSpicedTea. Hope you managed to have a reasonable night.

@adelebb and @PumpkinSpicedTea how are you both doing this morning? I'm mostly doing OK, although the house is way too quiet and I'm constantly expecting to hear a meow or a little "brrp" or some padding feet.

I am still not feeling great.I thought I heard her this morning and the house is still not the same without her. They are the smallest members of the family but fill so much space.

@adelebb you're so right they fill up a big space. I think this is going to take a long time to get used to. This is the first day I've not been crying all day. I keep hearing noises and thinking he's next to me or upstairs etc.

@adelebb i think you may have it particularly hard here - I had a week to take in that my boy was dying, although he deteriorated much faster than we had expected - whereas you had to make that brave decision to say goodbye so quickly. So I think in some ways I started my grieving a week ago, if that makes any sense? It is so hard not having him around though, I didn't realise quite how much I was constantly aware of his presence.

Thanks @PumpkinSpicedTea and @Flev and I'm sorry you are going through this too. I've been crying a lot today and feel like you did @PumpkinSpicedTea - just wishing I could stop feeling such pain. Don't feel guilty about your grief, I lost my mum a couple of months ago and at the moment I feel as bad now as I did then.

Hi all I’m so sorry about your losses. Your cats are all so gorgeous. Can I join please?

our wonderful tabby was put to sleep last night after being diagnosed out of the blue a few weeks ago with a very aggressive lymphoma. Even though I knew it was coming and that it was the kindest thing I just feel so bereft and guilty. I miss him so much already and then I feel silly as I know lots of people think ‘it’s just a cat’. Luckily my kids are dealing with it ok but I just feel so bloody sad. He was only 9 :(

when I took him in last night I was hoping he’d have a few more days but we decided it was kinder to do it then and there as they said he was getting very tired from the swelling and the tumour pushing on his tummy. In some ways I wish I hadn’t stayed in the room as I keep thinking about the moment he died - it was very quick and peaceful but it’s haunting me. And then when he’d died his eyes were open which was jarring. How did you guys find the actual process? I wish I could put it out of my mind but it keeps popping up.

anyway, am sorry to derail OP- it’s nice to chat to people who understand. Here’s a pic of my lovely Bumble 💔 sending hugs to all

So sorry to hear about your gorgeous Bumble @bumblenbean 😢 it’s the most rubbish club to be part of.

I had to make the same awful decision about my lovely Posey just after Christmas and found it difficult to get the image of her lying there with her eyes open out of my head. It was so peaceful for her but the eyes open bit was very odd. Especially as all the life / what made her her, had totally gone
I’ve found looking at photos / videos and playing things over in my mind (like how she always ran to the front door when I came home) has really helped too. And time. It’s just really shit to be honest and I’m still not ok about not having her and it’s been 3 months now.

Sending you a big hug xx

Hi @bumblenbean I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your lovely boy. I'm still feeling really awful about the whole thing and wishing I had brought her home with me. I found the whole thing so stressful and upsetting and I keep reliving the whole thing and feeling guilty. She always hated going to the vets anyway and we had to wait quite a while for our appointment. She must have been so anxious. I can't bear to look at her photos at the moment. I know she had a lovely life and was so well cared for so that's my only consolation.

Sorry op , condolences to you and any others who have had to go through this.
when I went through it at the end of last year, I was consoled that my boy had a long healthy happy life and knew only love. I felt blessed that if I had to lose him, he went sat on my knee at the hospital and had no fear.
My worst thing was coming down each day to a quiet house and no mess in the kitchen.
I was asked to take in a stray 3 weeks after and did, still miss my old boy a lot, but new cat helped a lot
your puss had a great life with you
Sending you best wishes

How's everyone doing? It's been three weeks here and I still have my moments.

We have another cat (his brother) and this past week he's been making noises like he's crying and I don't know if it's my imagination or if this is a thing?

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ xx

The house is so empty without Cheddar. I think I'll feel better when I get her ashes back. Penelope is coming out of her shell.