Grief

[PumpkinSpicedTea]

My beautiful baby boy had to be put to sleep yesterday after heart failure being diagnosed in January. I knew we wouldn't have long but didn't make it any easier. He was 10 and I've had him longer than I've had my children.

I seem OK when in the living room but as soon as I go in another room, particularly the kitchen, I break down and can't stop crying. My husband is working today so trying to be strong for my girls but it's so hard..

Need to get out the house today which will help but I am so heartbroken.

When I had my girl put to sleep due to kidney failure, this little saying helped me a lot..made me cry too.
Hugs to everyone who has/ is going through it.
"A cat outlives a flower, a mouse, a summer, but it is never enough.
The heart yearns for him long after he is gone"💖

Hi everyone please can I join? I have had to put my beautiful boy Norman to sleep today. I found him under a van last night unable to use his legs at all and thought he had been hit by a car but the emergency vet confirmed today that he had actually gone into heart failure and blood wasn’t pumping to his legs anymore. I feel like it has been so quick, yesterday when he went out of the house he was absolutely fine and full of life and now he is gone 💔 I feel totally heartbroken. He got me through major cancer surgery recovery last year and I miss him so much already. I have had cats before and we still have another beautiful girl Gloria but he was a special big guy and the house isn’t the same without him.

Oh that is heartbreaking.You must be devastated.Such a shock.
He's a beautiful boy 💕💐💐

I lost my gorgeous big ginger boy Marmaduke quite suddenly last June and I'm still not quite right now, he was like my little daemon, definitely my emotional support animal. So sorry to everyone who's lost their little sidekick, it's heartbreaking

It doesn't get any easier as I've got older. Horses, ponies, cats, dogs, hamsters, Guinea pigs, rabbits, even the gold fish, they have all been loved.

You have to remember the happy times and how loved and cared for they were.

That you mattered in their life as they did yours.

I came across this willow arch on a little walk recently and whilst I'm not religious I imagined that it would be nice when I pop my clogs if I walk through such an arch and all my pets that have passed are the other side and I see them again.

Just a daft notion but it gave me comfort.

I hope you take comfort from your lovely memories.

@Brunonononooo I totally get the shock. Hand hold from me.

@Toddlerteaplease I think you're right and when you have them back it'll be a different stage of grief. Big hugs.

@Clarich007 thank you for the saying, it's lovely.

@Brunonononooo I'm so sorry for your loss. What a traumatic experience for you. My boy was dying of heart failure but with fluid on his lungs so was a slightly slower process from January. What a shock it will have been for you.

@McGintyii I totally understand that. Sorry for your loss. I don't think it'll ever go away.

@PumpkinSpicedTea I am sure it’s no easier when you have time to get used to it but it’s just such a shock for him to be so full of life and loud and always saying hi to everyone who went past our house to now just it feeling so empty 💔 it’s nice to chat to people who understand though. I am trying not to be too upset as I have two small children who don’t really understand but he has been such a comfort to me over the years I am really missing him.

Similar happened to my boy. He was fine in the morning, collapsed gone by lunchtime.
It was 4 years ago, I miss him every day. He was my buddy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you x

I’m sorry to hear about your fella even if it was four years ago. Thank you for your thoughts. I keep getting sad every time I go in any room, he was always in one of them or outside waiting to greet us. They are so small but really take up such a big part of our hearts don’t they.

We had our boy for 18 years he's been gone 10 moths and it still hurts it always will . Your cat had the best life and care O/P . Sending love and support to you 💐

Checking into #griefclub here. Our darling girl was diagnosed with intestinal lymphoma a few weeks ago, and while we could have done chemo and steroids we decided to let her go while she was “well” rather than hang on and have her deteriorate. The only symptoms had been vomiting and she had never lost weight, ate well, behaviour as normal. We had vomiting with blood and decided that was enough. We gave her a good last day with her favourite foods and she lay out in the sunshine, then went to sleep in my arms. Her ashes are ready now and I can’t wait for the crematorium to drop her at the vet so we can bring her home.

I am ashamed to say we adopted a new cat on Friday - a wee ginger boy via CPL. I couldn’t bear how empty the house was. He’s settling in very well and is a little dote, but he is decidedly not my best girl And I miss her so very much.

My beautiful white girl, and my handsome stripy little fella.

Oh don't feel guilty - you've done the best thing you could possibly do! I was the same - couldn't bear a catless house so I adopted again about 8 weeks after my boy died. The new cat never replaces the one you lost but they have their own space in your heart, and they lift your spirits. I've now got 3 cats!!

It's awful however you lose them. I don't know which way is the worst. I'd been petting and blowing kisses at my gorgeous dilute tortie and white girl Ozzy around 6pm. Went to feed them at 9pm and she was stiff as a board. It was one hell of a shock. Another of my boys, Oscar, loved bacon rind and I don't, so I shared mine with him. Last I saw he was gobbling it up. He loved to sleep on a 6ft unit of furniture. He had climbed up to sleep after his bacon and died there.

The worst was my Maggie, my tortie and white girl, Ozzy's sister. She had been at the vet's on a drip - she was 17, and they diagnosed her with a tumour in her stomach, and they reckoned it was bleeding. We were going to bring her home to spoil her for a couple of days. I went to the vet one morning to pick her up. The receptionist said, "oh it was so sad, so sudden!" and I was "what on earth are you talking about?" Turned out Maggie had died shortly after 12am and the bastards didn't let me know. I had picked this vet 17 years before, as they were a vet hospital and staffed 24/7. It still makes me cry even now, and it was many years ago. I still feel so bad that she wasn't with us for the last two days of her life.

I'm so sad to see how many younger cats are dying. My Ginge was 10 but he had kidney failure due to FIV. Oscar was 14. I had a childhood cat live to 16. My current furbabies are 2, 3 and 7, and I can't bear the thought of anything happening to them!

They really do. He was such a character, had a big personality.
I understand what you mean completely.
It does get less painful, but nevers fades completely.
We are lucky to have had them x

Just visiting my friend in his nursing home and the home have put photos of him with Cheddar when she visited him. The photos just sum her perfectly. Made me cry a bit.

I brought our girl home on Tuesday. I have a card with her paw prints and plan to get one as a tattoo.

So sorry Pumpkin, he's gorgeous. It's always devastating to lose them, they really are family ❤️

I got a lovely card from both my normal vet. And the emergency vet. Both with a pack of seeds in each. Cheddars Ashes have been sent off to be made into a glass heart.

We did too actually, and our own vet had drawn a picture of her with wings on which really properly upset me for some reason - she (vet) was crying at the end of our final visit, she (cat) really was loved by everyone who met her.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses that's so lovely. I'd have been in bits as well.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses that is so kind of your vet, how thoughtful. The vet was so lovely and caring with Norman - I don’t know how they can do that job, I wouldn’t be able to cope I don’t think. Still feeling very sad over here, hope others are doing ok.

I miss mine every day and think of her everyday. I can do it without crying, now, though. it gets less raw.

Apart from I’m now crying over this thread!

She was a young rescue cat who totally rescued me, I realise now in retrospect. Had her 10 years but it wasn’t enough.

Got home from work tonight and still wanted her to be there. I often chat to her in my head.

With the other two, I cried for weeks. I only cried for a couple of days with Cheddar this time. Can't work out why, unless it's still shock. As the other two were expected. Although I think of her and her memories just make me laugh. She was bonkers. Going to see a potential new inmate tonight. It really feels like she's sent him to me. As I asked her to send me one.

How did you get on @Toddlerteaplease ?

He's lovely. Seems very chilled. Much bigger than I expected. Made me really miss Cheddar though. I'd been so excited to meet him, all day. Then just felt very sad. Think he'll do well with me though.