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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

What are your cats' purrfessions?

71 replies

Catsmere · 27/11/2023 04:49

I've known for a while that Dr Daisy is a pawdiologist (she always checks Mum's hearing aids when I change the batteries) and today she revealed she's a pawdiatrist, too, by examining Mum's feet when I changed her shoes for her slippers. This is on top of being a food inspector and QA expurrt for knitting.

What are your cats' specialties?

OP posts:
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7
LovelaceBiggWither · 27/11/2023 04:57

Snakecatcher.

iloveeverykindofcat · 27/11/2023 05:07

Well I know exactly what they'd be if they were human. Bibi would either be Prime Minister or the head of an international crime syndicate. Possibly both. Zara would be a charming hostess or a model. She's beautiful, adorable and charming, but not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

Original poster
Catsmere · 27/11/2023 05:13

Bibi would either be Prime Minister or the head of an international crime syndicate. Possibly both.

I was just thinking when I read the first sentence, "There's a difference?" 😆

OP posts:
RestingCatsArseFace · 27/11/2023 05:52

I have a Pawsonal Assistant. She follows me everywhere I go and helps by checking every cupboard, washing machine, dryer, nook & cranny as I use them, and inspects every throw and sheet before I try to remove them or replace them. She also ensures that she is underfoot at every step I take in case I forget where I am trying to walk and inspects every pair of shoes that are left in the hall.

She is a VIP - Very Impawtant Pusscat too, and knows how indispensible she is.

Original poster
Catsmere · 27/11/2023 06:12

RestingCatsArseFace · 27/11/2023 05:52

I have a Pawsonal Assistant. She follows me everywhere I go and helps by checking every cupboard, washing machine, dryer, nook & cranny as I use them, and inspects every throw and sheet before I try to remove them or replace them. She also ensures that she is underfoot at every step I take in case I forget where I am trying to walk and inspects every pair of shoes that are left in the hall.

She is a VIP - Very Impawtant Pusscat too, and knows how indispensible she is.

Edited

I just read this to Mum and she said "Best kind to have!"

Your VIP sounds like a top-flight expurrt. 😻

OP posts:
CrunchyCarrot · 27/11/2023 06:20

Mine would be a Pawsonal Trainer. He's so agile and can't stop moving and fidgeting, plus he is so flexible he can pour himself into and out of anything in liquid fashion. He's supremely good at leaping and may well be training for the Pusscat Olympics, but of course, as I'm just his slave I have yet to be notified!

Ostagazuzulum · 27/11/2023 06:57

Furry alarm clock (aka sleep terrorist 😡)

3am wakeups every day. She either wants to go outside or wants attention. It's a 4 step process accompanied by loud meowing throughout.

  • Walking all over us whilst we try to sleep
  • Scratching carpet (which she knows gets a quick reaction)
  • Body slamming wardrobes and doors
  • Jumping up somewhere high downstairs (where she knows damn well she's not allowed to be) to set off the house alarm.
FloofCloud · 27/11/2023 07:16

Black cat: male super model and black panther look a like - part time birderer and mouse mangler - he has no qualifications

Grey male cat: dreamie tester and sleep expert - has a professor chair too as he's done sooo much research

Female cat: the queen of the world

Sunday12 · 27/11/2023 07:16

One of mine is unemployed at the moment (young) the other works for itv as a news editor

the unemployed one wants to be a wrestler on the wwf circuit but I’m hoping she’ll change her mind

amylou8 · 27/11/2023 07:19

Cosmos is a surgeon. He can extract the non tasty bits of a mouse with exceptional precision.
Daisy is a food critic. She's retired now but still casts her eye over cosmos mouse offal.

SagelyNodding · 27/11/2023 07:23

Pest Control, small flying insects division!
I'm not sure he's actually bright enough to have any sort of job...

DifficultBloodyWoman · 27/11/2023 07:27

Boycat would be an aristocat, supervising the running of his household from a comfortable position on the sofa.

Girlcat would be living a life of crime, possibly as an assassin.

Choconuttolata · 27/11/2023 07:30

Girl cat - secret service agent/assassin (I think she is plotting the demise of the dog currently).

Boy cat - town crier/model

JoanOgden · 27/11/2023 07:37

Cat rights' lawyer. With a particular focus on right to whichever food they fancy that day, and capturing in law the justifiable reasons for humans to remove a cat from their lap (very few).

Howmanysleepsnow · 27/11/2023 07:40

Girl kitten has a keen interest in computers or football and could make a career of either.
Boy cat is in childcare and follows dc around to make sure he’s ok and never lonely.

Toddlerteaplease · 27/11/2023 07:42

Penelope would be the feline equivalent of professor Moriarty.

Not sure about Cheddar, but she has an opinion everything.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/11/2023 07:46

Used to be a prima ballerina, renowned for her beauty, elegance and how she seemed to float weightlessly in the air as though she were made of nothing but thistledown.

Now over 100 and spends her days scowling at the sheer uncouthness of the ungainly oaf cat with disabilities around balance (sitting, standing, walking, jumping) she has been forced to share the last 40 or so cat years with.

MrsMoastyToasty · 27/11/2023 07:51

Toasty Boy Cat and Toasty Girl Cat have a joint business venture as Pest Control Officers at a secondary school. Sometimes they bring their work home. (We live next door to the school).

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 27/11/2023 07:53

Mmm food tester for a large naice chain supermarket and master thief!

Anotherdayanothernight · 27/11/2023 08:00

Caesar would definitely be a food critic 😅

Allergictoironing · 27/11/2023 08:27

Girlcat is Queen of an ancient state (e.g like Egypt was), Tobias is her browbeaten cowardly but handsome toyboy consort.

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 27/11/2023 08:33

My two are the local gangsters.
Turf wars, hunting rats and general no-goodery. They are known locally as 'The Krays', as they are always together and have an ominous presence towards the young interloper cats of the street.

(actually, they're big loves who run after the school kids for ear scratches and attention)

What are your cats' purrfessions?
sashh · 27/11/2023 08:44

My old cat Charlie was a bouncer.

He was a tuxedo cat and would wait at the front door when I was out.

He was also an Olympic level sulker, if he wasn't happy with you he would sit in front of you and turn his back. He once spent a good 10 mins when I had friends visiting finding a place where his back was to all of us.

He was once sulking at me and my carer picked him up and said, "Look at sashh" so he turned his head, carer moved his head, he turned his eyes.

The resulting hysterics from me did not help the situation.

Madam's job is being in which ever room I am in and sitting on men. She will only sit on me if there is no man around. She also likes to be between humans and tech of any kind.

OnionOnionH · 27/11/2023 09:09

Baby girl cat is my cleaning supervisor, she will closely monitor the brush or mop and attack when necessary, she’s also has a similar unique approach to changing bed sheets.
Older girl is the overall ceo that keeps us all on our toes by not letting us know if she’s gonna kill us, or give her one of her lovely cuddles. She’s overall gorgeous, so we let her get away with it.

Isitisit · 27/11/2023 09:13

My tabby is a middle manager at a big corporate. Shouts and bullies everyone to do what she wants but does very little herself. Whenever a grievance is raised against her she manages to look innocent and gets away with it.