I need to get a weight off my chest

[Dilbertian]

It's purring and dribbling and putting its paws in all the wrong places.

My lie-in is over.

Oh my gosh, that expression! Just daring you to do anything that disrupts his/her comfort in the tiniest way.

aww he luffs you

He's just not getting this 'lie in' thing!

Sorry but your stuck there now.

In the contrary - HE is! It's MY bladder that is now complaining.

Well, was. I gave up and got up.

I can't be the only one who's woken up in the night finding it harder to breathe and discovering it's because you have 4kg of cat sat on your chest.

They don't care. Just heard DH telling our girl cat "Get your bum out of my tea!"

Me too. 14lb of Bengal restricts breathing somewhat. Genuinely thought I was having a heart attack.

Well that your Horses Head On Your Bed order dispatched

Our boy is a slinky but weighty 4kg when he steps on me he makes sure every gram of that is concentrated into one paw. On the lovely scars I have over my ribs

I think I may have got away with it - I fed him. Phew! No horse head.

I have woken several times thinking I was having an asthma attack, particularly when he tucks his 14lb arse under my chin and wraps his tail around my neck. The vet weighed his tail once: just his tail is nearly 1lb! And it's muscle under that fluff.

The BalletCats & me at this very moment. We spend most of our time in variations of this configuration in fact: I have to sleep upright for various boring health reasons & Balanchine likes to lie on my front, with his paws on my shoulders or at my collarbone & his head close to mine; while Nijinsky takes possession of my lap, sometimes curling up on his side, sometimes sitting in a loaf, & sometimes stretching out, flying-superhero-style. After a while of me fussing him, Nijinsky normally faces away from me, looking at the bedroom door. Balanchine never does; & he likes to hold onto me as he sleeps.
(Please excuse Nijinsky attending to his toilette in the background: it takes work to look as good as he does: would that I were as put-together & sleek.)