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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

DS wants to take cat to uni

121 replies

ClusterFog · 19/06/2023 13:27

DS will be renting a student house from September with two uni friends.

He wants to take his cat with him, 4 hours away from our home.

Both friends are in full agreement with this plan. One has met the cat over Easter, the other will be visiting this summer. Both have grown up with family cats.

DS has had the cat for 5 years and they have a strong bond. Having the cat has really helped his sometimes fragile MH, such as during exams.

I'm a bit conflicted.

I'm told the law has changed and landlords can't refuse tenants pets, but don't know all the details.

Any advise/suggestions would be helpful, thank you.

OP posts:

tribpot · 20/06/2023 20:52

mayorofcasterbridge · 20/06/2023 20:29

I've had a couple of cats (including one of my two current girls) that absolutely lose/t their shit on a five minute drive to the vet.

Think it would be worse for his mental health if something happened to the cat because of the change of circumstances.

Me too @mayorofcasterbridge - my cat complains bitterly on the five minute drive to the vet, she hates being in the car.

IngGenius · 20/06/2023 21:06

Depends on the cat.

I took my dog and cat to uni (actually came home in my third year with 2 dogs and cat)

They were really happy, loved the attention and I had more time for both of them whilst at uni. Only a few hours of lectures a day and loads of time at home with them.

Neither of them minded travelling, the cat used to curl up in their cat basket and purr all the way

Peachy2005 · 20/06/2023 21:12

Cats usually have established territory: in a new home, they may have to fight other neighbourhood cats to establish their territory - because of this, they may become very stressed and unhappy and seek out a new “safe” home, or try to find their way back to their original home. What happens if your DS fails his course due to the upset of his beloved cat going missing?

Twwodoorsaway · 20/06/2023 21:14

Yep, depends on the cat. I acquired a kitten at university, who moved into our third floor student flat (not university accommodation) in Glasgow. He went out for part of the day and came in when someone came home which was frequent. He loved the attention. Every holidays he came home with me to my parents, sometimes bus, sometimes train, sometimes car. Journey was 3 hours ish and he was fine. After I graduated he came with me, and due to work he moved another 6 times in about 8 years. Sadly he died relatively young after a car accident but he was the biggest personality who made new friends wherever he lived. He was my cat of a lifetime. I still miss him 30 years later!

Samlewis96 · 20/06/2023 22:19

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 20/06/2023 16:56

6 months?
Always thought it was 6 weeks suggested, and actually I've done far less than that in the past.

Show quote history

Fortnight when I inherited one

Wolfpa · 21/06/2023 06:20

Landlords can still say no to pets if they have a good reason. Before any decisions are made I would suggest that your son applies in writing and finds out what would be needed (some need a reference from the vet)

you could be having this dilemma and the idea could be a none starter

Butterfly44 · 21/06/2023 06:54

Poor cat.
You've not considered the cat in this - only your son

Also incorrect re landlord. They can refuse with good reason.

OhFGSwhatTFnow · 21/06/2023 09:43

My DD has talked about this with her cat…jokingly as far as I can tell.

Not happening…our cat is a lifelong indoor cat, and a spectacularly dozy one at that. I’d be terrified one of DDs housemates would let her else, and she’s going to be city based.

She’ll be in halls this first year but I hope to God she doesn’t get a bee in her bonnet next year about it.

JustAnotherOpinion123 · 21/06/2023 09:56

I got a kitten in the summer between my first and second years of uni and took him with me at the start of 2nd year. In my opinion, it was going great but the landlord changed his mind on allowing pets - and being young, I didn't think to make sure he put it into the tenancy agreement, despite the fact that we discussed it in advance and he said he was happy for us to have a cat. I then had to take him home where fortunately my parents were able to look after him.

Moved into a house share a couple of years later and the landlord did the same thing - except it was in the tenancy agreement but he said that if the cat didn't move out, he'd give me my notice to move out (as an aside, he claimed that my cat had pooed on the carpet- I did explain to him that I had tripped up the stairs carrying a glass of coke and the stain was from that, but he said I was clearly just defending the cat 🙄🙄).

I don't think moving the cat is a bad idea - my cat is now 14 and I think the amount of moving he did in his younger years has given him a chilled attitude towards change now and certainly hasn't caused any lasting damage. What I would say is make sure your ds and the landlord are absolutely in agreement that the cat can live there before uprooting it. I was always lucky that I never moved too far from home but multiple 8hr trips is very different to the 30 mins down the road drive I had.

Chewbecca · 21/06/2023 15:18

An alternative view - I would let our cat live with student DS if it was allowed where he is staying (it isn't).
Our cat is old and just wants to be cuddled. She has missed him terribly. I am pretty sure she would be happy with him wherever he was and would positively relish having alternate cuddlers in the new housemates.
I reckon both our cat and DS would be happy with the set up.

grannygailolivia · 21/06/2023 16:44

WE had a similar situation, our grand daughter lived with us whilst at uni & brought her kitten with her when she moved in, three years later (including 18 months Covid chaos) she gets a degree & moves in with her boyfriend in another town, Needless to say she wanted to take her cat, we have two other cats, live in the countryside & are surrounded by woods & fields. She was going to a house where there was already an older cat, a dog & in the middle of a housing estate. We persuaded her to leave the cat, she said she would come over to see the cat every month, she has now been gone 6 months & has been back for an afternoon! The cats happy & so is she.

TeaGinandFags · 21/06/2023 23:13

Gardendad · 19/06/2023 13:52

It is actually OK to say no to requests especially when they involve the welfare of another living creature who has no choice. Your son wants to uproot the cat from all it knows so he can avail of its mental health benefits... Erm I'd just say no, go get a cushion or something. He can work on his fragile mental health by seeing a psychotherpist or by practicing not having a cat. What about work, in time would he look for accomodation of his cat in the workplace?

Universities have counsellors and will take care of your son's emotional needs. Just tell them what they are.

Your cat can go live with your son when he gets his own place. Kitty needs stability as well.

GlomOfNit · 22/06/2023 23:04

ThursdayFreedom · 19/06/2023 13:51

Personally I think it's unfair on the cat. DS only has the property for a year, so then he'll be uprooting the cat again & they have massive amounts of holidays. He'll need to stay there in his own while his mates go home, or traipse the poor cat back & forth.

He may not be your typical Uni student, but most are barely sober & responsible for themselves, is he going to be responsible enough to come home to feed the cat, to remember to buy cat food

Then there's trusting others people not to torment the cat or shut it in/out of the flat.

then there's how busy the roads are around mist student digs.

Does it have a garden??

who pays the insurance/vet bills now?

I got a cat (a kitten in fact) as a student. We were post-grads by then but she lived in our shared student house for 4 years before my housemates moved out, and then eventually I moved in with DH-to-be. She was fine as a student cat (though she was always MINE) and I think enjoyed several people making a fuss of her. We managed to feed her fine , nobody 'tormented' her (why would students torment a cat, in particular?) and she'd come and hang out in the pub garden with us, which backed onto our tiny student house garden. I did worry about traffic as it was a student area of a largeish town, but she was very savvy.

When she moved to the house in the countryside with me and DH, she really discovered her inner Scottish Wildcat and enjoyed the wildlife massively.

ThursdayFreedom · 23/06/2023 11:32

@GlomOfNit

that sounds great but living in the same student flat for 4 years us the exception, not the norm and this cat is already well established in a family home, not a kitten where everything is new. It's an entirely different situation.

& you were post grad, which makes a difference too.

I didn't say students would torment a cat in particular, it's something that would worry me if it was any kind of pet, moving in with people you don't know well.

im glad your situation worked out well for you & 🐈‍⬛ but the OP's sons is the situation I was responding to & that's my opinion of him taking the family cat away to Uni. I don't think it's fair on the cat 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kaylagiampaolo87 · 23/06/2023 20:21

I don't understand what the issue is then? He's sober and responsible, good with the cat, the roommates agree etc..
As for the people saying its unfair to the cat, I've had multiple cats in my life. If that cat is bonded to him it will be far harder on the cat for him to suddenly go missing, that it will be to get used to a new environment with its person there. By that logic no one with pets should ever move...
My cat lived with me all through college and after until she died last year at 17 years old. Even through my partying days i always took care of her, it was never an issue

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 03/10/2023 09:22

Cat would be better off not moving really. Would putting a pet cam at the cats feeding area be something that he'd like?So he could see her?

soddingkitten · 03/10/2023 22:12

It would be a no from me. We moved regularly when I was a kid because of my parents’ work. We sadly lost a number of cats over the years due to them being run over or straying, sometimes found months later far from home. The cat is bonded to your son, but familiarity with its local environment helps keep the cat safe day to day. A year in student accommodation is all about your son’s need with no thought for the cat’s welfare. The cat will cope without your son for that time, but it may struggle with its new surroundings & have conflict with cats in that neighbourhood, or come to harm on busier roads. Taking it out of your area may also upset local cat dynamics and cause problems when it returns home. I wouldn’t risk upheaval for the cat for such a short term arrangement.

OccasionalHope · 04/10/2023 10:12

What did he do in the end?

Tiiredofthiss · 04/12/2023 12:50

My housecat came to uni with me and was absolutely fine. We lived in 3 different homes across the 3 years of uni.
Some uni students are not responsible enough to be in charge of the welfare of an animal, but if you and your son think he an his friends are responsible enough then I wouldn't see an issue.

Tiiredofthiss · 04/12/2023 12:51

Ooh just seen the date of this, thought it was more recent as it came up on my feed. What did you do?

Coyoacan · 04/12/2023 15:14

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 19/06/2023 14:10

I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea. We used to take a previous generation of our cats on holiday with us. They used to go outside when away and seemed to have a ball. I do suspect that cats years ago had much more robust mental health than nowadays though 😹. Also I moved house more or less yearly when I was younger, my cats never seemed remotely phased by it.

So OP, if your cat is confident, and you've vetted your son's digs (and his friends) I'd be inclined to let him do it.

We used to take the family cat to the caravan with us and not a bother on her

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