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Original poster

DS wants to take cat to uni

121 replies

ClusterFog · 19/06/2023 13:27

DS will be renting a student house from September with two uni friends.

He wants to take his cat with him, 4 hours away from our home.

Both friends are in full agreement with this plan. One has met the cat over Easter, the other will be visiting this summer. Both have grown up with family cats.

DS has had the cat for 5 years and they have a strong bond. Having the cat has really helped his sometimes fragile MH, such as during exams.

I'm a bit conflicted.

I'm told the law has changed and landlords can't refuse tenants pets, but don't know all the details.

Any advise/suggestions would be helpful, thank you.

OP posts:
Retrievemysanity · 19/06/2023 16:24

What’s the cat like for scratching? One of mine scratches our bed and sofa so I’d never be able to take her to a rental house. The other isn’t a scratcher but often brings in birds and mice so the carpets get stained. As others have said, there’s also the issues of holidays and bringing the cat forward and back which isn’t fair. Plus if it gets ill and needs the vets, what’s going to happen, register the cat down there as well as where you live? Is he going to be able to miss lectures to take it if it needs it etc?

marshmallowfinder · 19/06/2023 16:39

Absolutely not. It's a really bad idea for the cat. Student life is completely unsuited. Please don't. It just isn't fair, no matter what you tell yourself. 😔

LegendsBeyond · 19/06/2023 16:42

It’s really not fair on the cat. Just say no. All this pandering to young adults drives me mad.

Topseyt123 · 19/06/2023 16:46

Most cats don't travel well and it can take several weeks to acclimatise them to a new environment. Then again when he comes home for the holidays and eventually also has to move to different student digs. What about if he wants to come home for visits in-between times? I wouldn't always trust friends who are likely to be immersing themselves in student life to take proper care of it.

I also wouldn't have thought you could be sure that all students, and/or their visitors, could be trusted to keep windows and doors shut as necessary to keep the cat in when necessary, or let it in if it is out..

There is just soooo much to go wrong with this that it would be a hard no from me!

The cat's best interests are better served if it lives at home with you and DS visits in holidays or for the odd weekend during the term. Cats generally are home bodies who like familiarity. There aren't that many exceptions to that.

Topseyt123 · 19/06/2023 16:48

I should also have added, landlords still can say no to pets, so even if one does say yes, there's no guarantee that the next one will when he has to move.

tribpot · 19/06/2023 16:59

The Renter's (Reform) Bill that contains these changes is nowhere near being law yet, let alone coming into force. The department states:

  • We will provide at least 6 months’ notice of our first implementation date after which all new tenancies will be periodic and governed by the new rules including the changes to renting with pets. The date of this will be dependent on when the Bill has received Royal Assent.
  • To avoid a two-tier rental sector and to make sure landlords and tenants are clear on their rights, all existing tenancies will transition to a new system on the second implementation date. We will allow at least 12 months between the first and second date.

So it isn't going to come into force in whatever's left of this Parliament.

istolethetalisker · 19/06/2023 17:12

Terrible idea. Not fair on the cat.

Cats are notorious for hating house moves. Taking the cat to uni effectively means the cat has to move house every start of term and every holiday - so at least six times a year. Also, it's a student house, so it'll be small and untidy, with unexpected visitors at irregular times. Not a great swap from the cat's point of view. Even if the cat is with the human it likes best, this won't make up for the fact its quality of life has deteriorated in every other way.

If your son really loves the cat, he'll recognise it's his duty as a pet owner to put the cat's best interests first.

cordelia16 · 19/06/2023 17:18

viques · 19/06/2023 14:20

So what happens in the holidays? The poor cat has to be crated back to its previous home for four hours, with all the stress that causes, then taken back to the student digs , another four hour journey. Rinse and repeat every couple of months. Do these sensible students realise the cat will need to be kept indoors for several weeks to get it acclimatised to its new surroundings, so no back doors left open on a hot day, no windows left ajar, no front door propped open while you nip out to put rubbish in the bin, it’s hard enough to remember to do this when you are just one family, but a group of young people,away from home for the first time, not to mention inviting other friends round to share food, watch tv, have a meal, play a game?

I am sorry your son has struggled with his MH and applaud him for deciding to continue his education, but really, he needs to understand that sometimes loving something means you do what is best for them, not what you think is best for you.

You do seem to be supporting his idea, but I think it is time to stand firm and support the living being in the equation who doesnt have a voice.

Show quote history

I agree with all of this.

caringcarer · 19/06/2023 17:26

If the cat comes and goes outdoors I'd say no. If the cat is an indoor cat and your son is responsible I'd agree and send DS money for its good/flea/worm treatments , providing the LL agrees and the cat is ok at travelling.

Costacoffeeplease · 19/06/2023 17:27

No. No way. No

onlywayissussex · 19/06/2023 17:28

Not practical as the cat could get
Lost in a new town

MCOut · 19/06/2023 17:44

This would be a too much of a risk for me. As sensible as I’m sure your son is there are too many variables things that can go wrong in a student house. He and his flatmates might be perfect but invariably, they will have round friends who won’t be the most responsible of people because they’re just that age.

Cats are territorial, what if they let it out too early and the cat gets lost or it hates travel or doesn’t acclimatise to its new home?

WonderingWanda · 19/06/2023 17:47

Usually university accommodation has to be vacated over the summer even if they plan to move back in for the next academic year. Not to mention going home for reading weeks, Christmas etc. Most cats wouldn't respond very well to that. Mine gets stressed by the 1 mile drive to the cattery so the travelling should also be a consideration. I agree, it's not in the best interests of the cat.

How about they look into fostering for a local cat charity in their Uni town and leave his cat back at home.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 19/06/2023 18:05

It's too far for a cat to travel several times in a year. I totally understand how much cats help with stress and MH problems but his cat is a living creature and it's welfare must come before wants. Cats get so stressed during house moves, one of my cats went missing after a house move, I think he tried to find his way back to his territory or crossed an unfamiliar road and got hit by a car but we will never know what happened to him.

His friends may be in agreement now, but will they be so keen once your DS starts texting them to feed the cat because he's crashed at a friend's or expects them to feed the cat because he wants to spend a long weekend at home? Have these friends ever shared a home with a litter tray before?

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 19/06/2023 20:20

No. He should go home to visit the cat.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 19/06/2023 20:26

No. The cat stays at home.

If he was moving out permanently then it would be different.

FatGirlSwim · 19/06/2023 20:32

He’s an adult? It’s his cat? You’ve got no grounds to think the animal won’t be looked after?

sounds like his decision to me.

unicornjewels · 19/06/2023 20:35

I agree with many others, not fair on the cat.
People do it though, one of my flat mates in halls brought her rabbit to live in her room!!

viques · 19/06/2023 20:35

FatGirlSwim · 19/06/2023 20:32

He’s an adult? It’s his cat? You’ve got no grounds to think the animal won’t be looked after?

sounds like his decision to me.

If it’s his cat he should be covering all the bills, plus food . Doesn’t sound as though he is doing that, therefore it is a family cat and should stay at home.

gamerchick · 19/06/2023 20:36

4 hour trip? 4 hours?! Bloody cruel to the cat to have to do that kind of journey multiple times OP. Can't believe you're even considering it. Poor bugger

thewillowbunnies · 19/06/2023 20:36

Absolutely not. Unbelievably unfair on the cat.

Just no.

Teddypops · 19/06/2023 20:39

Its incredibly cruel to uproot the cat.

I work with student housing, there is no way it would be allowed. It being a student property will be a good enough reason.

That poor puss.

Luzina · 19/06/2023 20:41

as a child we had cats who travelled between two houses regularly. They were all fine. Really really absolutely fine and lived to a happy old age

Lcb123 · 19/06/2023 20:41

I’d say no, seems unfair to upheave the cat. And won’t he come back in holidays? He should be spending his time out studying, working and socialising

gamerchick · 19/06/2023 20:44

Luzina · 19/06/2023 20:41

as a child we had cats who travelled between two houses regularly. They were all fine. Really really absolutely fine and lived to a happy old age

4 hours apart?

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