I miss my cat so much

SadandCatless · 2023-01-03T23:16:19+00:00

Around last Easter time my OH rehomed my lovely girl while I was away from home and I can't get over her 😔 I miss her so much! She is the most perfect cat you could ever have and we were so lucky to have her. She is playful and funny but also gentle and loving..never got her claws out once and is just a fluffy, floppy purring sweetheart!! I lay awake at night thinking about her and whether she'd still remember me and I can't stop this feeling of grief like I have a knot in the pit of my stomach. I know my son has this same heartbreak as she was his little best friend, and he still talks about her on a regular basis. I don't know what I'm writing this all down here for but I just need to get it out, I feel like crying every time I think of her and I don't have anywhere else to express my feelings. I miss her so much ☹️

DoNotEatPickles · 03/01/2023 23:19

I am so sorry your OH did this to you and your son, did they even discuss it with you first? I would be heartbroken if someone gave away my cat. Your girl sounds lovely. Is there anyway you can get in touch with the new owner to at least get some peace of mind that she is ok.

Original poster

SadandCatless · 03/01/2023 23:25

No he didn't discuss it with me first but he told me right before I was due to come home.
I was away for a few weeks and he said he was struggling to look after her on his own. I am the one who generally did al the care however I had to basically drop everything and travel to see my dad when he became very sick.

He doesn't have any contact details for the lady who took her any more..I do believe he will have found a good home for her as he did love her and seemed genuinely upset about it all..he just said he couldn't cope ☹️

OP posts:

Original poster

SadandCatless · 03/01/2023 23:28

And thank you ❤️ she really is so lovely, that lady really is lucky to have such a sweet girl.
I know people always think their pets are amazing but she was truly the most perfect little sweetheart

OP posts:

TeamHerbivore · 03/01/2023 23:30

If this is actually real I’d have rehomed your OH, or I might have actually killed him. Not joking. What a cunt. Are you still with him?

Sophiste · 03/01/2023 23:31

Oh OP this is awful. I can’t even imagine coming home after a difficult time to find that my little cat had been rehomed against my wishes. Can he at least tell you how he found the new owner and what steps he took to ensure your lovely cat would be going to a good home? He must know how he went about it.

TheCatsMakethTheHome · 03/01/2023 23:33

WTAF! I cant believe what I am reading! I can’t comprehend how you are accepting this! He basically gave away your cat without consulting you first?!!!! No wonder you are distraught. Cats are beautiful and become part of our family 😢

MaroonMidnight · 03/01/2023 23:36

You’re oh gave your cat away? That is absolutely horrible. He needs to sort this out now. He needs to find out exactly where she is and get her back.
I think you need to rehome him too.

PurpleButterflyWings · 03/01/2023 23:39

That's actually horrific? Why the fuck are you still with him?

I don't mean to sound rude or unkind, but why did you not address this at the time? Why didn't you go seek your cat out and find out where she was? I would have gone to the fucking police and reported my OH for abuse if my partner had done this. WTAF? This is all so bizarre and puzzling.

DoNotEatPickles · 03/01/2023 23:39

I would find that very hard to forgive, I suppose having a child with him means you are committed to the relationship if he is a good partner in other ways. Hard to comprehend someone struggling so much with a cat for a few weeks they would give it away knowing how upset you would be though.

I think you should be kind to yourself and acknowledge you (and your son) are grieving your cat even though she is alive elsewhere. It is a hard process, I still think about my last cat who died a few years ago and wish he was still here being him.

I would tell your OH how upset you still are and ask him to search through his phone/email/anything to find the details of the new owner. If he is so sure she went to a good home he must have some idea where it is.

misssunshine4040 · 03/01/2023 23:40

SadandCatless · 03/01/2023 23:25

No he didn't discuss it with me first but he told me right before I was due to come home.
I was away for a few weeks and he said he was struggling to look after her on his own. I am the one who generally did al the care however I had to basically drop everything and travel to see my dad when he became very sick.

He doesn't have any contact details for the lady who took her any more..I do believe he will have found a good home for her as he did love her and seemed genuinely upset about it all..he just said he couldn't cope ☹️

Contact the new owner, explain your circumstances and buy your car back.
She would have to have a heart of stone to refuse.
If she does, call the police and explain your husband sold YOUR cat without consent from you and get your cat back.

I can't honestly believe your husband did this to you when your dad is sick and you had to be with him.
How can you still even want to look at him never mind carry on a relationship.

TeamHerbivore · 03/01/2023 23:45

And if this is real, of course he had a name and address of the new owner. Even if they moved, you will be able to find them.

Original poster

SadandCatless · 03/01/2023 23:45

I did try to address it at the time but he didn't want to go back to the person he'd rehomed her to. He said he spoke to our vet and asked for advice and the vet got back in touch with him with details of a friend who would like to take her in.

Maybe it seems bizarre to some of you but it's a difficult situation for me as he can be very controlling and I have very bad anxiety which makes it difficult to think straight when I'm stressed. He seems to be able to twist my words and turn things round onto me.

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Original poster

SadandCatless · 03/01/2023 23:48

He didn't sell her, there was no money involved.

And yes herbivore this is real. I posted this as I have no other outlet for my grief, I can't talk about it irl.

OP posts:

TeamHerbivore · 03/01/2023 23:49

You need to leave him OP. Get your child away from him. This isn’t normal behaviour. He’s abusive and unbelievably cruel. Psychopathic.

MaroonMidnight · 03/01/2023 23:51

The vet helped him? Without your consent? I just find it hard to believe…
Ask the vet for the details of who has her.

Sophiste · 03/01/2023 23:55

Please contact your vet tomorrow and find out their version of what happened.

icefishing · 03/01/2023 23:56

The vet supported your DP to rehouse your cat without your consent? This seems very hard to believe.
Do you have any actual evidence your cat was rehomed?
Other than your DP saying so.

ClangingBell · 03/01/2023 23:58

You are in an abusive relationship. I’m so sorry he gave your cat away, it sounds like she is a great cat. Is it possible for you to talk to Women’s Aid?

misssunshine4040 · 04/01/2023 00:01

SadandCatless · 03/01/2023 23:45

I did try to address it at the time but he didn't want to go back to the person he'd rehomed her to. He said he spoke to our vet and asked for advice and the vet got back in touch with him with details of a friend who would like to take her in.

Maybe it seems bizarre to some of you but it's a difficult situation for me as he can be very controlling and I have very bad anxiety which makes it difficult to think straight when I'm stressed. He seems to be able to twist my words and turn things round onto me.

You know the vet didn't advise this.
You are in an abusive relationship.
Can you leave quickly? Get your cat back and find somewhere to live and end this relationship.

Original poster

SadandCatless · 04/01/2023 00:01

I do believe him about the rehoming. He'd saved a photo of her in her cat tree thingy in the new home to show me she was going somewhere nice.

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GodspeedJune · 04/01/2023 00:02

You can find out where she is via the vet.

It is unbelievably cruel what he has done. I’m afraid I’d stop at nothing to get her back.

misssunshine4040 · 04/01/2023 00:04

SadandCatless · 04/01/2023 00:01

I do believe him about the rehoming. He'd saved a photo of her in her cat tree thingy in the new home to show me she was going somewhere nice.

Get your child away from this despicable man.
Show them that this behaviour is unacceptable and don't expose them to anymore of it.
You need to find the strength for your child to make a new start. Get your cat back !!

Original poster

SadandCatless · 04/01/2023 00:04

I do know this isn't a healthy relationship, it's difficult to find it in me to leave though as although he can be controlling he is also very depressed and he only has me and our son. He says he wouldn't have any reason to live if we weren't here.

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DoNotEatPickles · 04/01/2023 00:06

I am sorry you are in this situation. Controlling behaviour and twisting your words is abusive. Giving away your cat, and I don’t believe he asked the vet for advice or that any vet would advise that, is cruel. Is there someone you can talk to in real life?

misssunshine4040 · 04/01/2023 00:08

SadandCatless · 04/01/2023 00:04

I do know this isn't a healthy relationship, it's difficult to find it in me to leave though as although he can be controlling he is also very depressed and he only has me and our son. He says he wouldn't have any reason to live if we weren't here.

Find the strength for your child then. There is NO excuse.
If you find it difficult then look at your child and decide if this is the childhood they deserve and the damage growing up in that environment will do.
Don't make excuses anymore. Do you think he cares about you after the pain he's just caused you?