Feeling sad and trapped today.

[Clarich007]

We rescued a homeless street cat 5 years ago in an emergency situation. He was living near a 4 lane busy road so dangerous I am surprised he didn't get run over.
This was only 6 weeks after my beloved soul cat had to be put to sleep due to kidney failure. My fault entirely, I should have said no. From day 1 I knew it was a mistake. He hid, was scared, nasty, lashed out. I have virtually no bond with him. 5 years down the line it's still the same.
He was free, but over the years has cost us thousands of pounds in vets bills. I think
he associates us with pain, illness and vet visits. He's always missing, we drag him back he goes again. He givs nothing of himself no affection just indifference or aggression
At the moment he's got cat flu, which is so
awful, plus some sort of gastric problems resulting in constant diarrhoea. He's fully vaccinated, up to date with flea treatment, wormers etc. Neutered and chipped, wears a collar. We have done everything in our power to help him.
The thought of years and years ahead like this is awful.
When I read these posts on here about how much their cats are loved, I feel so guilty also a bit jealous. I'm a cat owner of 40 years, had 5 previous cats who I loved completely. I would have been very judgemental of my post had I read it years ago.
I just feel down and trapped by him
The constant horrendous litter trays don't help at the moment. 5 or 6 complete changes a day. How do I get over this and tell myself off about tbese awful feelings? Thank you for reading.

AwwSponge oh thank you so much for asmi g how I am. To be honest, I feel so down about the situation, just sad and liw. One thing occured to me yesterday, he was perfect when we rescued him, and look at him now. Constant ill health. That makes me feel so guilty, have I made it worse, I don't know. Thanks again for all your lovely comments.

Stickytreacle. Very good point. They don't understand why they are constantly in the carrier and stressed. In the car, more tests more pills and injections.
I agree with you. Thank you

I think Sticky Treacle makes a good point. A relative of mine had a cat sanctuary. I remember when we were in dire straits with a previous cat and he said, "They will tell you when it's time" or something. This cat actually did, in a way. It was heartbreaking, but the best, and last thing I did for her. On a lighter note, our cat carrier is called The Pet Voyager or similar. As it only goes as far as the vets, it's not much of a voyage, or a fun one is it. I think it's a trade description issue, possibly.

I’m sorry to read about your poorly cat. You say he was perfect when you got him but I don’t think that’s true. I had a rescue cat who then had flu. Cat flu isn’t made up of one or other (or both) Calici virus or Herpes. Normally cats would be vaccinated against them when kittens.
I had a rescue cat with Calici, it comes out at times of stress, so when we brought him home to a new environment. It affected his gums all his life. It had an affect on the immune system, making them susceptible to other things.
We spent a huge amount of money on him but he died aged 6, from something else, but his Calici was the underlying condition that played a part.

Knowing then what I know now, all that we put him through, I wish I’d let him go sooner (and before spending ££££).

Wishing you well in the challenges ahead.

Thank you CrystalMaisie.
He is positive for Calicivirus, vet thought he possibly had untreated cat flu as a kitten, gum problems all his life all his teeth out 2 years ago. That answers my question, sounds like your cat too. Vet said it stays in the system all their life. He has had many health problems.

I’m not a cat person just came on to say he’s very lucky to have been looked after by you.

@Clarich007

Aww thank you SpongeBob, I think you have to be on pension credit or something, which I'm not.?

Used to be council tax benefit was the single qualifying benefit. This may very well have changed, but as it was the hardest to qualify for, wasn't dependent upon having children and was renewed every year, it was the most reliable way of establishing those most at need of their services.

Thanks Frazzled, he's been a challenge!

Thanks Neverdrop

Really feel for you. It's not easy at all is it. We've just adopted our first ever cat from a rescue and it's been a rollercoaster. Your cat is lucky to have you.

Thank you Cleanmean.
Best of luck with your rescue, I hope they are bringing you lots of love fun and happiness. 😻

Just wondering how the vet visit went, @Clarich007. Hope things are not too tricky.

Hi SparklingLime. Thank you so much for asking. Life is a lot easier here thank goodness!!
The cat flu has gone, his chest has cleared up, he had a patch of infection at the top of one lung.
He's got his mojo back after 8 weeks. Not cometely back to normal though, but getting there. He's going out regularly again and coming home every day, which is great.
3rd eyelids still showing a bit, and if he does use the litter tray it's still bad. I'm just off to the vet's to pick up some prescription gastrointestinal biscuits, so that's the plan. The vet didn't want to start invasive tests until we tried the food. I did ask about quality of life and he said he's a youngish strong cat, not suffering and it's looking good.. So all in all it's a big relief. Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply. It really did help.
It must be something going round because my neighbour's cat has exactly the same symptoms, so she's going through the same. I feel so sorry for her and the cat, knowing what she they are in for.

So glad he's perked up for you. Hopefully the biscuits will made the tray habits easier for you.

It's strange though, but my bond with him is much stronger now, and last night he slept on the bed with us, was tucked into my side with my arm round him 😸

Thank you SpongeBob.
I hope so 😁

Just wanted to say that you're doing an amazing thing for this cat.
My children are always on at me to adopt our local feral cat, who is lovely, very well behaved when she pops in for visits, but we live in a flat where we aren't allowed pets, and she's already an old girl, so all I can think about are the enormous vet bills to come.

Hi Medoc.
That sounds lovely, it really does, but you are wise to be cautious I think. If not insured the bills can be enormous.
Saying that, my friend has just taken on a full feral cat of at least 12 years old. Apart from a dental and usual micro chip etc, he's not cost her a penny. Luck of the draw I suppose. Good luck whatever you decide

5 years! 5 years

OP, I would consider rehoming ASAP

You sound very unhappy. This cat is the cause. Unintentionally but that’s the truth.

You gave it half a decade. Now is the time to be selfish. Even though I don’t think it’s selfish at all!

Sorry, just realised you aren't allowed pets

Hi Excitedfor the future.
Believe me I have thought about it!!
We thought he was on our local cats shelter list, but there was an oversight and 3 months later we found out it hadn't been recorded or booked in!

So when you found that out, presumably you booked in him again?

You have given it a very very long time

And yet here you are, starting a thread using the words “very sad” and “trapped”.

The time now is to prioritise you.

No he wasn't booked in again, the woman doing it asked me instead🙄🤨. Daft, I know!

She asked me the other day'Would you do it again' I said 'not in a million trillion years '