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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Feeling sad and trapped today.

86 replies

Clarich007 · 03/12/2021 18:49

We rescued a homeless street cat 5 years ago in an emergency situation. He was living near a 4 lane busy road so dangerous I am surprised he didn't get run over.
This was only 6 weeks after my beloved soul cat had to be put to sleep due to kidney failure. My fault entirely, I should have said no. From day 1 I knew it was a mistake. He hid, was scared, nasty, lashed out. I have virtually no bond with him. 5 years down the line it's still the same.
He was free, but over the years has cost us thousands of pounds in vets bills. I think
he associates us with pain, illness and vet visits. He's always missing, we drag him back he goes again. He givs nothing of himself no affection just indifference or aggression
At the moment he's got cat flu, which is so
awful, plus some sort of gastric problems resulting in constant diarrhoea. He's fully vaccinated, up to date with flea treatment, wormers etc. Neutered and chipped, wears a collar. We have done everything in our power to help him.
The thought of years and years ahead like this is awful.
When I read these posts on here about how much their cats are loved, I feel so guilty also a bit jealous. I'm a cat owner of 40 years, had 5 previous cats who I loved completely. I would have been very judgemental of my post had I read it years ago.
I just feel down and trapped by him
The constant horrendous litter trays don't help at the moment. 5 or 6 complete changes a day. How do I get over this and tell myself off about tbese awful feelings? Thank you for reading.

OP posts:

SparklingLime · 04/12/2021 13:22

That does sound very hard. I second the recommendation of feline probiotics on food for the digestive issues.

I expect raising his quality of life with your vet could be a way in to discussing end of life.

It so easy to take his behaviour as personal to you, but it really won’t be. He is just reacting as a cat with bad life experiences.

Original poster

Clarich007 · 04/12/2021 13:55

Hi icedcoffees. I asked the vet about him going out while he's not well, and she said to try and keep him in but if he's desperate to go out let him, as it will be stressful for him and counter productive to his recovery.I never restrict him going out normally, he gets nasty if I do, ut with the cat flu thought it might be best. I do agree with you and have said it before a farm or barn life would be ideal. Thank you

OP posts:

icedcoffees · 04/12/2021 13:58

@Clarich007

Yes - obviously with cat flu he should stay indoors when possible, I was more referring to overall.

Many cats have gastric or toileting issues when stressed - he may not just not want to be inside at all and the gastric issues are a sign of that. I'm surprised the vet hasn't mentioned it, tbh.

Original poster

Clarich007 · 04/12/2021 14:00

SparklingLime
I will ask about the probiotics. Cats are sensitive and complicated creatures that's for sure.I think he was probably part feral, he's never lost it in the 5 years we have had him. Thank yiu

OP posts:

Original poster

Clarich007 · 04/12/2021 14:03

Well lcedcoffees we never restrict him at all. He's got a microchip cat flap which always open. I take your point though about always fetching him back.

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icedcoffees · 04/12/2021 14:07

@Clarich007

Well lcedcoffees we never restrict him at all. He's got a microchip cat flap which always open. I take your point though about always fetching him back.

Yes - I'm not trying to criticise or make you feel bad - it must be a horrendous situation for you

But he's clearly not happy how he is and I do wonder whether he'd be happier on a farm or somewhere where he has freedom and doesn't have someone trying to make him come back indoors all the time.

I totally get your instinct to bring him home but many cats are just happy to wander. I have a friend whose cat often disappears for six months at a time - he seems very happy but gets very miserable if he's accidentally shut inside.

Original poster

Clarich007 · 04/12/2021 14:23

No that's fine, I know you're not. It's good to have a different opinion. I agree actually with you. The problem is I get numerous messages saying' your cat's in my kitchen, are you going to pick him up.' I feel torn between letting him do his own thing, or these peple thnking that I'm neglecting him if i say no he's happy outside.

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icedcoffees · 04/12/2021 14:26

@Clarich007

I would just respond saying "no - he's much happier being allowed to roam, but feel free to kick him out if he's bothering you".

SparklingLime · 04/12/2021 14:27

If you think he might be happier in a semi feral situation this Facebook group might be able to help:
www.facebook.com/groups/535322183236607/?ref=share

Original poster

Clarich007 · 04/12/2021 14:51

Thanks Sparklinglime

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Original poster

Clarich007 · 18/12/2021 16:15

A little update.
6 weeks, 6 vets visits and £600 later, we've found out that our cat is infected with Clostridium Perfringens. We have another vet visit on Thursday to discuss biopsies, scans and x rays.
Has anyone come across this before. It's made him so ill, coupled with horrendous cat flu and constant diarrhoea. I'm at the end of my tether really. It's cost a full months pension to get this far.
Any advice? Thank you

OP posts:

Fluffycloudland77 · 18/12/2021 17:40

Only in humans and it’s a nasty bacteria. It’ll knock him about for sure.

Original poster

Clarich007 · 18/12/2021 18:37

Thanks Fluffy. I'm a retired chef, and remember learning about it when I did advanced hygiene course. It's horrible

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Fluffycloudland77 · 18/12/2021 18:43

I learnt it through healthcare, motor cyclists who come off and scrub themselves on the road surface get gas gangrene off it.

He might like you more when he’s well. Sometimes it changes them.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 18/12/2021 18:48

Would you consider a GoFundMe for him op? Even a few donations would help.

pinkhousesarebest · 18/12/2021 18:51

That’s a really good idea.

Original poster

Clarich007 · 18/12/2021 21:18

Thanks for your advice. Really appreciate it

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Iamacatslave · 18/12/2021 21:20

So sorry to hear your cat is so poorly. You really are doing everything you can for him and thank you for giving him another chance in life. I would be happy to contribute to his vet bills. You can pm if you want to.

Original poster

Clarich007 · 18/12/2021 21:48

Iamacatslave. Thank you for your message. I have pm'd you

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SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 20/12/2021 13:03

How are things today @Clarich007? I sympathise. We have a really old rescue cat (and again, as in your case, we don't know how old becuase rescue) who is getting more decrepit. She is, I think, getting cat dementia, and may have trouble with her eyesight, though the vet thinks not, but I'm not convinced. She needs regular medication, which costs an arm and a leg, as you are experiencing. It's very sad, and going away overnight is a logistical nightmare, as I need her checked on at least twice a day. She's quite difficult to feed too, and lots of food is wasted, and new food donated to the foodbank while we get another box of something different. I love her to bits, but after her day, I suspect I will have a good while at least without a pet.I wonder if Blue Cross or someone could help you out at all? My sympathies, it's really difficult s

Original poster

Clarich007 · 21/12/2021 16:57

Hi SpongeBob.
Sorry late reply, been rushing around all day.
Sadly, he's no better despite taking all his meds. Vet on Thursday.
I sympathise with you, I really do and hope you find some peace of mind. Mine has gone completely!
It's strange how illness and unpleasant jobs become almost normal, even though it's anything but.
Thank you for your message.
I feel the same and don't think I will have another cat after him

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SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 21/12/2021 17:43

As well as Blue Cross, I think that PDSA may help with some of the bills, depending on your situation. I'm not probing your financials, just wondered if that would help at all.

Original poster

Clarich007 · 21/12/2021 18:07

Aww thank you SpongeBob,
I think you have to be on pension credit or something, which I'm not.?

OP posts:

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 22/12/2021 07:12

Ok, I wasn't probing, just thinking that in the midst of the stress of it all, you may not have considered it as an option. How are you feeling?

Stickytreacle · 22/12/2021 07:29

I really feel for you, I have several ex ferals and to be honest I won't put them through lots of vet visits or tests because it is so stressful, I had one treated recently for a bladder blockage. He became so stressed with the vets that he was sent home instead of being hospitalised. I wouldn't put him through it again.
I'd leave him be for a while and see how he goes, but I've made the decision to euthanise rather than prolonged treatment for mine. A vet should be fine with that. I do think that stress will be exacerbating your cats issues.
It probably wouldn't be the right thing now, but I also find having a friendly non scared cat about boosts their confidence levels no end.

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