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The litter tray

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Original poster

My cat just died naturally at home and I feel awful

53 replies

Jloco · 01/05/2021 23:44

This has just happened so probably won’t make much sense. My cat was 20 and a half, my absolute best friend and I don’t remember life before her. She’s been a bit frail but generally well enough but today she was incredibly lethargic and I could tell she wasn’t right. She’s had off days before but picked up. Everything was made more complicated by having friends round for a arranged in well in advanced get together. When they left, she perked up a bit and ate and drank some water and seemed OK so I thought I’d see how she was in the morning but she’s just died.

The last 2 minutes were horrific. I just googled whether it would have been as bad for her as it was for us and everything online says that yes, dying naturally is awful for them and they should always be PTS.

I just feel awful. At least she was at home surrounded by her family but I feel like after a lifetime of love, I’ve let her down at the most important time. Not sure what I want from posting this but I’m devastated.

OP posts:

fizzyp0p · 01/05/2021 23:47

My soul mate cat died suddenly at home. She was asleep, her body spasmed and she rolled of the bed wet herself and was dead in about 30 seconds.

I'm so sorry OP but I think it's less stressful for her having gone in her comfortable surroundings I am SO SO sorry for your loss. X

tecatea · 01/05/2021 23:47

Sorry for your loss.

Our elderly family cat curled up under a chair one evening & died but we found it comforting that he was close by & asleep so to speak.

MandalaYogaTapestry · 01/05/2021 23:49

I cannot answer your question but I have cats and I am so, so sorry

niki26 · 01/05/2021 23:52

So sorry for your loss. Absolutely horrible.

bitheby · 01/05/2021 23:52

I had a cat die from heart failure in my arms. The very end wasn't pleasant but he was with me and I couldn't bring myself to make the decision sooner because he was only 3. You made the best decisions you could at the time.

Thisnamewasnttaken123 · 01/05/2021 23:53

So sorry, just try to think that she isn't in pain now and look on the lifetime of love you gave her

Mumoftwoinprimary · 01/05/2021 23:53

Your cat lived to a very old age. Was a bit lethargic on its last day but felt well enough to eat and drink up until her last few hours. She died in her own home surrounded by the people she loved.

That is pretty much exactly how I want to die.

Want2beme · 01/05/2021 23:54

So sorry for your loss. She had a very long life with you. It's not easy to judge when the time is right to PTS.

CausingChaos2 · 01/05/2021 23:56

I’m so sorry. What a terrible shock for you. It is true that PTS is usually a kinder end but you weren’t to know what was going to happen. I hope I’m not saying the wrong thing.

I hope in time you’re able to remember your lovely cat for all the happy times you’ve shared, rather than this memory.

Thro · 01/05/2021 23:57

Sorry for you loss.
Most humans would prefer to pass away in their own home, I assume most pets would too. It sounds like you did the right thing and she passed in the comfort of her own home with the humans she loved. Take care of yourself.

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 02/05/2021 00:14

You did not let your cat down, you loved and cared for her for 20 years, she knew how much you loved her, she died beside you and although she didn’t just slip away, just being there beside her in her final minutes would have been of comfort, she could have been all alone, you were there for her in her time of need, I hope you can take some comfort in that. I’m so very sorry for your loss

crimsonlake · 02/05/2021 00:16

My heart goes out to you but I think what ever we do we have guilt.
My elderly cat appeared ill one morning and I rushed to the vets and she was put to slleep and I delt guilty as I felt it would have been better for her to die at home than be in a strange enviroment.
When my other elderly cat took a sudden turn for the worse I decided I wanted him to pass away in his surroundings....thinking the end would come soon. Neither decision was the right one in my mind.

GreyhoundG1rl · 02/05/2021 00:17

You couldn't possibly have known when the right time to euthanise would have been
So sorry.

wannabebetter · 02/05/2021 00:19

@Mumoftwoinprimary

Your cat lived to a very old age. Was a bit lethargic on its last day but felt well enough to eat and drink up until her last few hours. She died in her own home surrounded by the people she loved.

That is pretty much exactly how I want to die.

This, so sorry xxxx

MintyCedric · 02/05/2021 00:28

I'm so sorry for your loss and I second others who've said you can't possibly know when it's the right time to PTS and are likely to have some regrets either way.

I have had and currently have cats. But over the last few years we have lost both out guinea pigs...one PTS after being ill for 24 hours or so, the other I found slipping away in her cage at 6.5 and she passed wrapped in a towel in my arms 45 minutes later.

Fwiw I have no regrets about the latter but lots about the one who was PTS...the timing of it (wanted to give her a chance for meds to work but wonder if I should have taken her in sooner) and the fact that due to nature of the procedure we weren't allowed to be with her.

I imagine that it was less traumatic for your cat being in familiar surroundings with those whe loved than the alternative.

Take care of yourself .

queenjaneappro · 02/05/2021 00:32

So sorry for your loss.

Fountainsoftea · 02/05/2021 00:35

Our 6 year old cat died recently. I wanted her to die peacefully at home (lymphoma), but she clung on and it seemed cruel. The unearthly howls were just wrong. I don't think there's any right way- that's why, ideally, they sneak away.

caringcarer · 02/05/2021 00:37

You should feel sad but not guilty. You have cared for your cat for 20 1/2 years. You loved her and was with her at the end. If a cat is in pain it won't eat so you should know your cat was not in pain right up until the end.

TheLongRider · 02/05/2021 01:01

I'm so sorry, it's a lot to process. She was at home with people who loved her. It's never easy no matter how they die.

MrsCatE · 02/05/2021 01:08

I’m so sorry and can really empathise. My cat literally dropped dead; one second he was purring away whilst MrCat was prepping his breakfast next he was dead. He was only eight. I’m sure you gave her the best life. X

Mydarlingmyhamburger · 02/05/2021 01:12

What is it that made it bad op? Most elderly cat deaths involve the cat suffering in pain from some sort of illness for an extended period of time. Until the owner can no longer bear its suffering, catches and sticks it in a cage and transports it terrified to a vets practise. Where it gets poked and prodded and then gets a cannula rammed in its veins so it can be overdosed to death. Your cat went presumably quickly and comfortably at home

CakesOfVersailles · 02/05/2021 01:20

So sorry to hear this.

I just googled whether it would have been as bad for her as it was for us and everything online says that yes, dying naturally is awful for them and they should always be PTS.

Remember those articles are written to encourage people who know their pets are dying to bring them into the vet clinic. They emphasise certain things and make generalisations in order to make people bring animals in.

You didn't know your cat was actively dying. It is often really hard to judge when an animal is going to die. It doesn't sound like she was showing signs of awful pain for hours or days and that you ignored that. It sounds like you took care of her.

You gave your cat a good home for so many years. She felt well enough to have some food and water in the evening and she died in familiar surroundings. I think it's important to remember that. The horrific moments at the end don't outweigh the years and years of love and good times.

Take care of yourself.

Wallabyone · 02/05/2021 01:21

I'm so sorry x

VimFuego101 · 02/05/2021 01:32

I don't think you could have guessed she was so close to dying given that she ate and drank a little, and it doesn't sound like she went very rapidly downhill as you might have expected. Try not to blame yourself, she must have been very loved and cared for to make it to 20 years old.

OneMoreForExtra · 02/05/2021 07:56

FWIW both my lovely cars were pts at 21. In both cases I desperately hung on, hoping they would slip away naturally at home. They didn't and it was obvious their quality of life had gone and they were lying in pain, so in the end I had to do it and it was terribly hard. Don't feel guilty. It sounds as though your cat's been spared a lingering lead-up to death and you've been spared an agonising decision. I'm so sorry.

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