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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

For the third time since Christmas DH has suggested it wouldn't be awful if we got a cat

27 replies

KatyMac · 15/02/2021 20:56

& then changed his mind

He really loved the last one, Flynn, who died in August and says he isn't ready to have a cat again yet

And then dithers

Next time he dithers I am getting a cat even if he dithers again!

I need a cat

OP posts:
Bopahula · 15/02/2021 20:58

I think you need to show him some in local rescues that need homes. Grin

Original poster
KatyMac · 16/02/2021 01:35

Oh I have!!

I have been sending him links to gorgeous cats!!

& funny cat memes

& pictures

Its not working fast enough

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 16/02/2021 01:42

I’m afraid I do this to DH. We have thought about rescuing another dog but I’m afraid no dog could live up to our lovely dog who had to be pts. I think it would be lovely then I imagine getting a dog who doesn’t ‘click’ with me or the family as well. Hopefully your DH will get round and you’ll have a new Flynn soon!

KarmaNoMore · 16/02/2021 02:02

I’m afraid no dog could live up to our lovely dog who had to be pts.

I thought the same. After my last one who had learned to read my mind after 18 years together, no dog would be the same.

And it wasn’t, my current dog is adorable but in a very different way, completely different personality, no one is better than the other.

Original poster
KatyMac · 16/02/2021 02:03

@Kanaloa hugs xx sorry you lost him; look after yourself

I understand, but I think my heart (and DH's) has enough love for any cat

& I'm a bit depressed atm and I think having a cat would make me less anxious

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 16/02/2021 09:34

So he wants you to arrange it all so he’s not disloyal to Flynn’s memory?.

I know how he feels though, we lost our boy in November 2019 and the thought of another cats appealing because like meezers bengals are a lifestyle choice as much as a pet but then I feel like it’s wrong or an insult to his memory and I start crying again.

When dh says we shouldn’t have pets because we’re too soppy over them I say fine, I’ll have a Bengal and tell them not to speak to you 😃

Original poster
KatyMac · 16/02/2021 12:26

Actually you could be right!

I'm going to change my tack next time I see a rescue siamese/oriental/suitable cat

Now who knows of a nice rescue?Grin

OP posts:
thecatneuterer · 16/02/2021 20:09

This is the website you need: www.catchat.org

Original poster
KatyMac · 16/02/2021 20:53

Thanks - there is nothing local atm so i'll keep looking

There are some adult cats on Pets4homes but I'm wary

OP posts:
Original poster
KatyMac · 16/02/2021 21:00

Breeds I think are OK for DH are:
Siamese
Oriental

Possibly:
Havana
Bengal

He worries about Sphinx being cold/sunburnt!

What other breeds should I consider - is it the 2 layer coat that is the important thing (but lets be honest I could be talking pants!)

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2021 21:10

Persians are the best!

Original poster
KatyMac · 16/02/2021 21:20

Too fluffy but yes they are pretty

Sphinx would be best....but Siamese (we've had 3) are Good & Oriental (just 2)

OP posts:
CoronaCurls · 16/02/2021 22:56

Go for another Siamese- they are the best.

They are beautiful and so clever (I have 3 😸)

TheABC · 16/02/2021 23:00

If your type is needy, loud and beautiful, stick with orientals.

I would get myself into the breed-specific rescues and/or ask around registered breeders about kittens.

MrsCatE · 16/02/2021 23:00

I know you’re looking for Orientals but please look at rescues first or specialist re-homing, like @Toddlerteaplease with her Persians

Toddlerteaplease · 16/02/2021 23:03

Persians come in short haired, loud and needy varieties too.

Original poster
KatyMac · 16/02/2021 23:25

Don't worry @MrsCatE I only ever rescue or rehome.....well I had a kitten when I was young and silly but all 4 since have been rescue/rehome

I think short hair Persians are still quite fluffy though

DH and DD have asthma but don't react to siamese/oriental....we don't talk about the near hospitalisation when DD lived for 3 weeks in a flat with a dog!

I will we now have permission to look and ask questions.....

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 16/02/2021 23:30

Awww your DH is still grieving, when my Buns goes which I'm sure won't be too long as she's 20 this year I'll be torn between grieving and lonely and getting another cat and feeling shit about it.
I've had 8 little ones and each time they go is just so horrendous and you always feel guilty for just thinking about it.

MrsCatE · 16/02/2021 23:33

Apologies OP I didn’t mean to only look at Persians but to investigate the possibilities of Oriental rescue facilities; as how @Toddlerteaplease found her preferred breed to re-home / rescue.

Icequeen01 · 16/02/2021 23:37

It's a shame that we are in lockdown otherwise you could do what I did. We had had two of our cats PTS in quick succession and although we still had one cat left it wasn't the same. My DH was the same as yours, wanted one but then didn't. So one day I told my DH that I wanted to drop off some old towels to our cat local rescue. My DS and I had had a sneaky look on their website and had fallen in love with two gorgeous ginger fluffy kittens. We dropped off the towels and my DS (possibly primed!) asked my DH if I could just have a quick look at the cats. The minute one of these little monkeys climbed up my DH's leg I knew we were home and dry! That was 8 years ago and my DH adores them.

For the third time since Christmas DH has suggested it wouldn't be awful if we got a cat
Original poster
KatyMac · 17/02/2021 00:20

I know @ShehasadiamondintheskySad
DW @MrsCatE everyone has different rules about pets/rehoming - I've been lucky before (driving from Great Yarmouth to Northampton) with a rescue so hopefully i will again this time

@Toddlerteaplease he is gorgeous and so are @Icequeen01's

OP posts:
MrsCatE · 17/02/2021 03:41

Oh dear, I’m sounding like an arse that hoiks bosom at mention of adopting a cat unless it’s by going by the rehoming route.

I’m sure you’ll find a way forward that suits your family’s requirements!

Original poster
KatyMac · 17/02/2021 10:11

Don't worry; everyone knows typing can sound a different tone of voice to speaking

I'm so excited- DD has a big show/job on 13th March and we are looking for a cat to move in after that

So i'll be trawling the Internet before then to see what I can find

OP posts:
Beamur · 17/02/2021 10:18

Once you've had orientals nothing else is quite the same.
My DH is still grieving his oriental boy who died nearly 2 years ago. We've got 2 newbies since then who he likes but just hasn't bonded with in the same way. One of them adores DD - which she is so happy about and the other definitely prefers me, although has realised recently that DH is good for a game of throwing Mousie. He throws it, she finds and retrieves it. Repeatedly. This may be the thing that finally gets him to open up.
I think you're getting there OP!
Kitten season is coming up...

DisposableGoon · 17/02/2021 10:24

We just got a kitten, impulse decision (friend of a friend's cat turned up in next door's shed with a litter of 4) ignore dithering, go for it. Cats are fab! (you don't need me to tell you that but it's true!) happy hunting Grin