Bitey Siberian and new baby

[KO2018]

Hi Mumsnet

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and the owner of a 2.5 yo Siberian forest cat. He’s a beloved pet, particularly for my husband who won’t hear a bad word against him. However, he has always had a problem where he will grab and bite onto arms for no reason.

Nothing we have done seems to provoke or stop it happening. I’m certain it’s a dominant thing not playful, as he’s quite aggressive to other cats in the neighbourhood and always coming home with injuries. He’s come back with three puncture wounds from separate fights just this week, and that’s only from the daytime as he’s locked in at night.

The trick is to completely freeze when he does it which stops him from biting down hard, and often turns into licking. You then have to very carefully and slowly remove your arm from his death grip... It doesn’t happen that often because we’ve learnt not to ever wave your hands in front of his face.

My very real concern is how this is going to work when baby arrives. We are not planning on leaving them alone in a room together, but keeping cat and baby apart for potentially all their childhood seems like a stressful situation for all involved.

I’ve been trying to put the idea in hubby’s head that we may need to rehome him when baby arrives. We want to give him a chance first to see whether they get on okay. But at what cost?

Has anyone had experience with this? The whole situation makes me want to cry

I wouldn't be risking it, personally. Either re-home or lock the cat in a room away from the baby at all times until the kid of big enough to hold its own.

I wouldn’t risk it either. I think it would be a big stress trying to keep the cat out at all times.

Is the cat neutered? That might stop the aggressive behaviour if he's not already been done

Yes he is neutered.

Still sprays in the garden and, literally only once or twice ever, in the house

Gosh, that sounds awful - we've had 3 Siberians (one died during lockdown) but have never experienced anything like that with any of them...all of ours are ridiculously soppy really... have you explored a behaviourist?

Sadly I think you know that you have to rehome the cat. It wouldn’t be fair to you to have to keep guarding and monitoring that situation and when the baby is a toddler it’s going to get a lot worse. And it isn’t fair on the cat to have them confined to a room or whatever.

Don't get rid of him; just ensure there is a closed door between him and the baby at all times,

Hi @myrtleWilson no we haven’t but I think I will get in touch with one and see what they advise

Are you sure you aren't missing his cues, when he's had enough. Cats tend to keep a wide birth from
Babies. I would not rehome him

@Toddlerteaplease we can read the signs which is why it happens rarely but how is a baby/toddler to know? That is the problem I worry about...

You take a pet on for life. You don't just get rid of it when it doesn't suit you any more.

My cat does this, he’s little thought is a Siberian big? Anyway, never been an issue with the DC when they were babies and only now if they get lulled into a false sense of security whilst petting him, once is enough to learn. DC love him from a distance... not sure about his feelings

You take a pet on for life. You don't just get rid of it when it doesn't suit you any more.

Don’t be silly

@Smellbellina Siberians are very large and strong, another difficulty.

Good to know yours left babies alone though.

No way would I have an aggressive animal that is happy to attack something 15 times it's size to try and dominate in the same house as a newborn that will be smaller than it.

Sorry, I don't know anything about cats, but I was in a similar situation with a dog (except he just didn't like children!)

Please re home. I know it's hard but you won't do your cat or yourself any favours. Living with the stress / fear of something that might happen, because of the luck of trust is horrendous! Trying to keep them apart will have you on edge, especially once DC can open doors.
I'm sure cats like dogs have individual personalities. Some are just not suitable for family life.

I would not ridk it. If your DP prioritises a cat over his own child then they can move out together.

Keep kitty away from the baby until the child is old enough to interact. There's no need to rehome the cat. Mine bites like that sometimes too and it's not like actual biting but gripping with teeth. It's not fair on the cat to evict him just because you had a baby. You can keep the baby away from the cat and teach your child not to mess with the cat when he's old enough to be around the cat.

@Toddlerteaplease

You take a pet on for life. You don't just get rid of it when it doesn't suit you any more.

When it becomes a risk to your child you do.

I can't believe people would tell you not to rehome and aggressive animal and keep it around a child. So irresponsible. If it was a dog, no one would be telling you to keep it. Its a danger to your child. Thats the only thing that matters here.

This has certainly divided the room!

I rescued a cat who was affectionately named psycho cat by a friend/ cat sitter. When ds was born we kept the cat away from him ie never left alone together. As do got older he did go near the cat but was never harmed in any way. The worst trouble we had was the cat started leaving dead mice outside ds’s bedroom door.
We ended up rehoming the cat with a friend when ds was 4 because we were moving overseas for a year.
I would give it a go but be prepared to rehome if there are any problems.

Not ideal but probably a spray water bottle or a loud chain / plastic bottle of stones to throw on the floor as distraction to re- direct the cat?

Start doing it now and see what happens as understandable it's a worry of how the cat might react to a small child....

Maybe get the cat comfortable to being in a closed off room- a utility or something so that you can pop him in there if you're busy and can't supervise properly?

I’d get a behaviourist in, it’s highly unusual behaviour from a cat so something is wrong.

Who’s going to want to rehome a cat who bites and is a walking vets bill anyway?.

If this was true aggression he would sink his teeth straight in to you. It’s overexcited play, and if it turns into licking then that just confirms my thoughts.

You need to tire him out mentally. Some cats need wearing out, use a ‘da bird’ toy and other interactive games. Google Jackson Galaxy.

Cats stay well clear of babies and toddlers, and actually most do behave differently with more tolerance towards children. Also install some high shelves as mental stimulation and a way for him to get away from roaming toddlers.

I agree with toddler a pet is for life, you made the commitment when you got him and now it’s up to you to make it work.