Bitey Siberian and new baby

[KO2018]

Hi Mumsnet

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and the owner of a 2.5 yo Siberian forest cat. He’s a beloved pet, particularly for my husband who won’t hear a bad word against him. However, he has always had a problem where he will grab and bite onto arms for no reason.

Nothing we have done seems to provoke or stop it happening. I’m certain it’s a dominant thing not playful, as he’s quite aggressive to other cats in the neighbourhood and always coming home with injuries. He’s come back with three puncture wounds from separate fights just this week, and that’s only from the daytime as he’s locked in at night.

The trick is to completely freeze when he does it which stops him from biting down hard, and often turns into licking. You then have to very carefully and slowly remove your arm from his death grip... It doesn’t happen that often because we’ve learnt not to ever wave your hands in front of his face.

My very real concern is how this is going to work when baby arrives. We are not planning on leaving them alone in a room together, but keeping cat and baby apart for potentially all their childhood seems like a stressful situation for all involved.

I’ve been trying to put the idea in hubby’s head that we may need to rehome him when baby arrives. We want to give him a chance first to see whether they get on okay. But at what cost?

Has anyone had experience with this? The whole situation makes me want to cry

We want to give him a chance first to see whether they get on okay. But at what cost?

If there are no triggers you can tell and you're not quick enough to stop him biting are you basically saying you're giving him a chance to see if he'll bite your baby?

Are you 100% sure your husband would be vigilant and make sure doors are closed etc and the baby and the cat are never in the same room?

Have you tried feliway plug ins? My SIL swears by them. I’ve got cats but haven’t needed to use them before.

@ArtemisFido we’ve tried Feliway, I couldn’t really tell whether it made a difference or not. Hubby reckons it did but tbh not really enough evidence to be sure and it was £40 and needed replacement every month so prohibitively expensive!

That cat could kill your baby. I think you know you are going to have to rehome it.

I meant to add, I love animals and I do not think of them as disposable. I think someone will want the cat and give him a god home. But this is too dangerous to have around a baby.

Zylkene capsules work out cheaper, you put it in their wet food.

How much play is this cat getting? This is an active breed of cat who needs a lot of stimulation. Zooplus has a lot of interactive cat toys for sale and puzzle feeders you can put dry food or treats in.

That cat could kill your baby.

Really???

@nearlynermal

Sinking its teeth into the wrong spot on a baby, it could certainly kill a baby. Or baby could have serious injuries and permanent scarring, or develop an infection from a bite. All of these are worst case scenario things.

You already made the decision when you TTC. Your cat is incompatible with a baby. Re-homing is in everyone's best interests. I don't see how you can keep them apart the whole time.

Cats don't have dominance heiracies in the way you describe and certainly don't ascribe dominance relationships to other species (humans)

You need professional behavioural advice - it sounds as if your cat is potentially very anxious - the spraying behaviour is classic feline anxiety, and the ongoing social conflict with other cats is likely to be adding to this. Just because he'sbig, it doesn't mean he's tough and you probably need to work on reducing social anxiety and frustration that may be driving his aggression

Have you optimised the environment as per the isfm feline guidelines?
journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1098612X13477537

Do you 'force pet' him, pick him up and bestow affection on him when he's not seeking it? Or do you allow him control and autonomy to seek out tactile contact only when he's comfortable doing so? Petting-induced aggression is a thing in cats - giving him back control over seeking contact only when he wants it can help with this.

Do you play with him? He needs an outlet for his natural predatory behaviour - regular fishing toy play sessions etc should give him an outlet to reduce frustration that may be driving the biting.

There's lots of terrible advice on this thread. It's sad to see how disposable people consider pets when they become inconvenient, rather than advising making any effort to actually address the problem

Im not sure you can train a cat. I would consider rehoming. I think a siberian forest cat would be easy to rehome even with issues. Id have him

@Toddlerteaplease

You take a pet on for life. You don't just get rid of it when it doesn't suit you any more.

Are you okay? I would type out how ridiculous you're being but I feel you already know and just want to be goady

Cats aren't disposable when it no longer fits with your family life

We have a particularly aggressive and territorial cat. Once we knew a baby was on the way any sign of aggression he'd be put down straight away or put outside. Took time but he's much better now and he knows that it won't be tolerated. We didn't leave him unsupervised with the baby nor did we allow the baby to get in his space - if she wanted to interact she was taught to hold her hand still and if he wanted to come to her he would otherwise leave him be - they are the best of friends now though

Sadly we had to revoke our much loved moggy when our first baby came along. He used to scratch, if he could and tried sitting on baby at every opportunity. It wasn’t the scratching per se it was the risk of serious infection. It also caused wheezing, so no real choice. The baby comes above the critter.

Our foster son was miserable for a few days, but realised moggy was going to be very happy curled up in a hugely overheated house being fed pilchards by an older woman who had lost her long time pet.

Can you rehome the cat with a friend or family so you still get to see him?

Hi @badacorn yes that what I would intend. I really hope one of my family members would take him! Possibly my Dad, who he seems to like

Just checking everyone's clear on the difference between a cat and a Rottweiler? Whoops: goady (cackles and runs away).

@KO2018
Can you answer any of my previous questions?
Rehoming him won't address the behaviour and if it's anxiety-driven then you have a responsibility to try and reduce his anxiety as this is a welfare issue.

It might be that rehoming is appropriate as part of a more holistic plan to address his behaviour but it's unlikely to be a solution in itself

@Veterinari thanks for that advice it’s very helpful! Are you a vet perchance? And yes Hubs is guilty of picking him up a lot for cuddles - which the cat never objects to - but I’ve told he’d be better to give him space.

The biting is rare and he comes for cuddles every morning which is when he is totally docile and cute. He likes to sit directly on me a lot. I thought this was a sign of dominance?

I will add he’s a big chunk of a cat but I think actually quite small for his breed. Maybe he has small cat syndrome!?

PS. Thanks to everyone else for opinions too, grateful to hear all different perspectives.

My cousin was hospitalised after a cat bite when he was 2.

I’m not against rejoining at all when there is potentially a child in danger.

My British ling hair was aggressive towards men. He used to have a stand off with my ex husband and try to corner him. He was much happier when it was just me and the female cat in the house and really settled down although he would patrol the garden and fight foxes. He was terrified of children though and would run and hide the second he saw one so you might be OK. See how it goes.

I'm with badacorn. I live in regular fear of being murdered by next door's cat. After all when you look at the stats for 'death by cat' there is very good reason for concern.

No sitting on you is not a sign of dominance - it's a sign that you're warm and comfortable.

You and your husband need to agree an action plan including proper environmental enrichment, not picking him up, giving him choice and control and proper play sessions. Does he have a litter tray indoors or does he have to go outside to toilet (and risk running the gauntlet with the neighbourhood cats?) You need to minimise these potential stressors.
Plus think about zylkene or yucalm

Hi @Veterinari he has a litter tray indoors that he never uses, he just prefers being outdoors all the time. As he spends so much time outdoors hunting and chasing things, we figure he gets enough stimulation during the day. He doesn’t really show an interest in toys any more. In fact on occasions when he comes in looking a bit wired, trying to play with him to ‘tire him out’ just seems to make him more stimulated. Either that or he just flees...

I’ll ask the vet about those drugs.