Just heard my cat has had weeks to live (lymphoma). I have a week's holiday booked. What would you do?

[largeprintagathachristie]

My lovely 13 year old cat has been diagnosed with lymphoma, with a 4-5cm mass showing on ultrasound in her stomach.

I knew she wasn't right, hence pushing for a referral from the local vet. But still it's come as a shock to hear that its weeks rather than months that she has left.

Meanwhile, from 21-28 August I'm meant to be on a seaside UK holiday with DP and SDCs. We've all been really looking forward to it. It would be our first change of scene since Covid .

I don't think I can go on the holiday with them, can I? If my cat has, say, four weeks left, that would be a quarter of the life she has left that I'll miss. (Of course, the minute I don't go she'll perk up and live for six more months.)

She's sitting next to me now and looks ok, if a little thin, and it's hard to imagine she will go downhill so fast but I gather that could well be the case. She's vomiting often. Her medication is now up to four pills a day. She's starting pill based chemotherapy today.

There are no other "cat people" in the household so they will think I'm bonkers, that I should go with them, and she'll be fine at the cattery. Relevant here is that she hates and gets very stressed in any kind of institutional setting. The specialist didn't recommend injectable chemotherapy because what he politely described as her "demeanour."

She has been a faithful and valiant friend, and for a long stretch of the past 12 years, it was just her and I. She likes to know where I am and is usually near me.

What would you do?

I know it’s hard I really do. But I’d have her put to sleep.

This is her in her glory days.

Sorry to hear about your beautiful cat. Our puss had stomach tumour and became poorly quickly and we had her pts. Its such a difficult and sad time and personally I wouldnt go on holiday.

I wouldn’t go. My lovely dog was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma a month ago and has just started radiotherapy. We had a holiday booked for about now, and although it was already cancelled due to the pandemic, if it hadn’t been, we would have cancelled ourselves to ensure we could have started her treatment. I love my dog as much as anyone.

If you go and your poor cat dies while you are away, I doubt you could forgive yourself.

I hope these last weeks are safe and content for your cat.

I’m sorry about your cat.

I think your choice is either have her pts now or you stay at home. Neither decision is wrong. Part of me would be considering is she suffering already? Vomiting, having to have some chemo......she won’t feel great.

Someone here once said that being put to sleep is not the worst thing which can happen to a pet.....they don’t know what’s happening. If she only has a few weeks left and will spend that time feeling rough maybe it’s time.?

I know I sound harsh but I would probably have her PTS if she is so close to the end, before she goes any further downhill. It's a really personal view, I know.

I'd personally give her a really lovely week of attention and then PTS before the holiday

I may sound unkind but I would put her to sleep. She's already going to be pretty miserable taking tablets evdry day and vomiting often. In instances like this where you know she's not got long left and that its onky going to get worse for her it seems harsher to wait until she is suffering more. Sometimes the kindest thing you van do for them is to let them go early rather than when its too late.

Hard as it is, I would have her PTS before your holiday. She is vomiting so is not comfortable - I think vets will come to your home if this is less stressful for her (although this may have changed with coronavirus)

Thank for all your comments. Though I'm now crying!
I had perhaps naively thought the decision on when to put to her sleep was a few weeks off.

She is my first and only pet I've had as an adult, and this bit of the journey is new to me. And hard. I know there is good advice on here.

I don't think I could put her to sleep in order to go on the holiday. That said, I take peoples' comments about whether she is suffering. She still seems to be enjoying things; purring on my lap, going out on patrol in her "area" but I'll monitor closely over the next week. The specialist vet didn't have the putting to sleep conversation with me apart from saying it would become obvious when it was time to have it. Also that she might deteriorate quickly if she has a stomach bleed.

I do absolutely need to be there when she is put to sleep so I can't risk being away from 21-28 August.

The non cat people in the household have pointed out that pets are allowed in the holiday chalet. That's ludicrous, right? She'll hate the change, she'll get lost if we let her out of the chalet, there will be dogs in the park, and she's vomiting every second day - in this scenario over the chalet's furnishings.

You really can't put an animal close to end of life into an unfamiliar place, which rules out both cattery and taking with (also because it would be pretty distressing for the whole family if the end came whilst you were away)

And I don't think I would want to leave anyone else to make the final decision. So yes, bats as it seems I would be prepared to stay at home and make the most of the remaining time

Our cat Bobby was diagnosed with lymphoma and the vet said that we could try treatment but it would only delay the inevitable and she was put to sleep soon after. She was a sorry state by then and it really was the kindest thing to do.

She is beautiful op.
If she’s been a strong and constant companion, you need to do what’s best for her now she needs you.
So sorry.

If you can't put her to sleep before you go (which is what I would do, I think?) and you can't risk not being there when she is put to sleep, then you can't go away, can you?

The stress of going to a cattery or coming away with you would probably finish her off anyway, and in fact, it's quite possible, likely even, that you leaving her behind at home with a cat sitter, might tip her over the edge (two of my furbabies have done this when we've left them to go away, and it's heartbreaking).

I'd left my DP take the kids away I think, and stay home to spend quality time with the Puss. Any chance of joining them even for one night? Maybe not, if the cat is on medication.

To be kind to the animal and put your cat to sleep and then go on holiday together and support each other through the aftermath. You will need time together.

I think it’s unkind to the cat to drag things out illness wise.

I'd make the decision to PTS now. It's coming anyway and if she's getting thinner and frequently vomiting, I think I'd want to stop this for her before it really begins to get going if that makes sense?

Cats hide pain and discomfort very well so I'd give her a few days of love and treats etc and then make the decision before she properly goes downhill

Better a couple of weeks too early than a day too late.

We went through something similar with my childhood dog - I was early 20s when we knew he was in his last weeks. My parents were booked to go on holiday. There was no way of me having him whilst they were away due to working - we decided to put him to sleep with me and my mum with him, before he started suffering on a daily basis. He had a week of absolute happiness - eating what he wanted, snuggles in bed, as much attention as we could give him. It was the most horrible thing at the time, but watching him fade before me, or worse, him going whilst he was in kennels - was something I couldn't have faced.

If you can't put her to sleep before you go (which is what I would do, I think?) and you can't risk not being there when she is put to sleep, then you can't go away, can you?

This.

If the vet thinks she’s not going to get better, I would refuse the chemo and have her put to sleep. Better a week too soon than a day too late.

I don’t believe in prolonging life for our pet animals if it’s just delaying the inevitable. It’s not the same as a human where they make their own choices in quality of life vs medication etc - we’re in the position of trust and power and we need to do the best for the animals we care for. For me, that would be PTS.

Whatever decisions you make, make them fir your animal and her personality and best interests, not your own.

Hello Largeprint,

I know exactly what you're going through with this. Both my cats were diagnosed with lymphoma in 2018. One given no more than six months (she's still here and doing really well on steroids) and the other, like yours, given about six weeks. This darling kitty actually ended up having eight more months of good life until the time came. I couldn't leave her either (my last holiday was two years ago) so I know what you mean.

You sound like a lovely person and your kitty is absolutely stunning x

I haven't been anywhere without my cat for the last four years apart from work because she is always at deaths door and then gets better. She's 19. Forget holidays, I'm terrified she will die with strangers and I couldn't bear the guilt.
She always seems to make a miraculous recovery a day or two before the date I've booked for euthanasia, or I'll say just one more week and she gets better. It's ridiculous.
She has currently recovered from everything but has stage 2 kidney disease which she is fine with on a special diet and I have a wonderful cattery but still I just can't leave her.
Its an almost impossible decision to make.

I personally wouldn't put an animal through chemo/radiation therapy. I'd give her a good last day and have her PTS. They don't understand length of life but do understand quality of life.

I'm so sorry.

I think the kindest thing to do would be to have her PTS at the end of the week. I speak from experience had our 12 year old cat euthanised on Thursday. He was diagnosed with lymphoma two weeks before that, after previously being a really healthy cat. In the end he deteriorated quickly and it became apparent quite suddenly that it was time. In retrospect there wasn’t a huge amount that he got from those two weeks between diagnosis and having him euthanised. Just before we took him to the vet to have it done I couldn’t find him for a bit and worried that he’d hidden himself off to die somewhere. In that moment I felt terrible that I’d left it too late and put him through unnecessary suffering.

It will be no fun for your cat to be on those drugs and - regardless of the holiday - I think that making the decision to have her PTS sooner rather than later would probably be the kindest thing. I know how you feel, as we are booked to go away for a few nights at the end of the month and I was agonising as to what we should do if our boy was still with us then, and hated the idea that I’d be putting him down just to go on holiday. But you know deep down that it’s not that at all and that, opposed to being selfish, a decision to let her go sooner rather than later is likely the best thing you could do for her.

Either way, I really feel for you - it’s a horrible decision to have to make. And she is a very fine looking cat! All the best

Personally I think it would be very wrong on many levels to put a terminally ill animal into a cattery away from his/her family when it is already close to death. It's last days need to be relaxed, with zero stress and filled with love, comfort, stability and comfort/pain levels need to be closely monitored in case of any rapid deterioration and medical intervention being needed. It will be very confusing being separated from your family when she is so ill and cause her immense distress/frighten her due to the unfamiliar surroundings. The cattery will likely provide her with minimal care (feeding/petting/clean cat litter, etc.) not high level 1:1 care that takes in to proper account medication and pain relief, etc. needed for dealing with a terminally ill animal and the observations needed in her final days. She also currently sounds too sick and unstable to be in a cattery with the vomiting, chemo, regieme, etc. in the first place. If she is terminally ill, I would think about putting her to sleep sooner rather than later as no doubt she is suffering a lot and that suffering is going to increase as each day passes.

I think I would pts regardless of the holiday to be honest. You know it's coming anyway and why let her get to the stage where it's really affecting her quality of life. Give her a few days full of love and then be there with her at the end. Use the holiday to 'recover' and do something nice to memorialize her when you get back