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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Just heard my cat has had weeks to live (lymphoma). I have a week's holiday booked. What would you do?

67 replies

largeprintagathachristie · 15/08/2020 13:08

My lovely 13 year old cat has been diagnosed with lymphoma, with a 4-5cm mass showing on ultrasound in her stomach.

I knew she wasn't right, hence pushing for a referral from the local vet. But still it's come as a shock to hear that its weeks rather than months that she has left.

Meanwhile, from 21-28 August I'm meant to be on a seaside UK holiday with DP and SDCs. We've all been really looking forward to it. It would be our first change of scene since Covid .

I don't think I can go on the holiday with them, can I? If my cat has, say, four weeks left, that would be a quarter of the life she has left that I'll miss. (Of course, the minute I don't go she'll perk up and live for six more months.)

She's sitting next to me now and looks ok, if a little thin, and it's hard to imagine she will go downhill so fast but I gather that could well be the case. She's vomiting often. Her medication is now up to four pills a day. She's starting pill based chemotherapy today.

There are no other "cat people" in the household so they will think I'm bonkers, that I should go with them, and she'll be fine at the cattery. Relevant here is that she hates and gets very stressed in any kind of institutional setting. The specialist didn't recommend injectable chemotherapy because what he politely described as her "demeanour."

She has been a faithful and valiant friend, and for a long stretch of the past 12 years, it was just her and I. She likes to know where I am and is usually near me.

What would you do?

OP posts:

Original poster

largeprintagathachristie · 15/08/2020 20:26

Sorry to all of you who have lost your cats.

I am extra sad at the thought of not being able to be with her when she's put to sleep, due to Covid. It feels like a betrayal. I'm hoping this is not an absolute requirement but I suppose it probably is.

Putting her to sleep within five days (I could then go on the holiday, though I wouldn't be doing it in order to go on the holiday) just seems too soon. But I do need to think about whether I mean too soon for me, rather than her.

I am definitely cancelling the cattery.

I've got annual leave booked from work for the seaside break and there's part of me that would actually love to potter around the house, for that week, just her and me. This is my preferred option.

OP posts:

GarlicSoup · 15/08/2020 20:43

@AuntieStella

You really can't put an animal close to end of life into an unfamiliar place, which rules out both cattery and taking with (also because it would be pretty distressing for the whole family if the end came whilst you were away)

And I don't think I would want to leave anyone else to make the final decision. So yes, bats as it seems I would be prepared to stay at home and make the most of the remaining time

I would stay home too. Take care.

bodgeitandscarper · 15/08/2020 21:01

If she's regularly vomiting, then I'd book the appointment for a day or two's time, it really is better a day too soon than a day too late, she is terminally ill and it's unkind to drag things out. My vets allow clients in for end of life, it's worth asking if they'd let you be with her.

CausingChaos2 · 15/08/2020 21:07

Surprised at the suggestions you have her PTS with haste then go on the holiday. There’s no way I’d do that. Infact I’ve missed holidays and a wedding because my cat was very poorly. I would stay at home, treasuring every last moment with her.

Pancakeorcrepe · 15/08/2020 21:19

I would plan to stay home with her and take it day by day. With an illness like that, a matter of days or hours may make it necessary to do euthanasia, especially when a diagnosis of weeks was mentioned. I was in a similar position and monitored my kitty very closely to make sure that has soon he deteriorated, I had the vet on hand with the full history so no further explanations needed. You really don’t want to leave it until it is very bad, it’s better to get in slightly early rather than later. This will avoid needless suffering.

gubbbbbddaaaa · 15/08/2020 21:47

Put her to sleep on the 20 th .. spend time With her .. if she is near the end then that will probably be the right time anyway . So sorry

Tavannach · 15/08/2020 22:57

I've got annual leave booked from work for the seaside break and there's part of me that would actually love to potter around the house, for that week, just her and me. This is my preferred option.

I think that's the best idea.

A question I find useful for vets - and doctors - is "What would you do if you were in this situation?" They are trained to outline treatments but they do recognise that some treatments are too invasive and that quality of life is more important than quantity.

Maria53 · 15/08/2020 23:02

I could not have my cat pts in order to go on holiday. She is family.

On the other hand this has been an awful year and everyone needs a break. I dont know. I think I would stay with her and care for her and when the time has clearly come that is when you have her put to sleep. Very sorry.

Want2beme · 15/08/2020 23:16

She's really beautiful. So sorry you're going through this. When they're coming to the end of their life due to illness, it tends to be a day-to-day situation, so you'll be constantly checking to see if she's ready before she becomes really ill. Your vet will know when she's ready, so you'll probably find yourself taking her to the vet a few times to check. That's what I've found, anyway. It's a really hard time for you, but she needs you now more than ever

Janleverton · 16/08/2020 00:15

@largeprintagathachristie

Sorry to all of you who have lost your cats.

I am definitely cancelling the cattery.

I've got annual leave booked from work for the seaside break and there's part of me that would actually love to potter around the house, for that week, just her and me. This is my preferred option.

My 16 year old cat was PTS about 3 weeks ago and I was able to be with her at the appointment.

Her sudden decline also coincided with an upcoming holiday where a cat sitter was due to be looking after the two cats. We think she had eaten poison or something toxic or had something seriously up with her throat. Took her age into account as well as not wanting to put her through invasive treatments that she wouldn’t understand were diagnosing/making her better.

Anyway - there was no way that I could chance leaving her to hide behind the shed and die slowly, booked her in and while it was sad it was also moving in a weird way - the vet and nurse and I were all stroking her. She was sedated and calm and it was a good end with limited suffering after a happy life.

Janleverton · 16/08/2020 00:18

I think if a cat is visibly unwell (bearing in mind how good they are at hiding or masking pain), then prolonging their life isn’t really doing them any favours, where there has been a bleak diagnosis. I found the days of my cat being poorly, hiding behind shed, not eating or drinking much, while seeing whether medication worked, incredibly stressful and she felt the same - not many happy moments of trying to get pills down her.

Ashmarie · 16/08/2020 00:59

Not a cat, but our dog. We found a small mass on his head that the vet wasn’t too concerned about but they took a sample and we found out it was cancerous the very morning we were supposed to fly to Florida for three weeks. He needed a biopsy and further investigations and my parents were more than happy to take him to these appointments and take care of him, but I just couldn’t do it and neither could my partner. We lost every penny for that holiday as we cancelled literally hours before, but we found out he had a soft tissue sarcoma that had originated in his sinuses and moved into his brain, and he deteriorated so quickly he would have been gone by the time we got back. I never regretted losing the trip and the money for a second - we are still saving up to try again for the trip but being there in his last weeks and when he was PTS was worth it.

Catsup · 16/08/2020 01:14

Aww she's an absolute beaut! I think you know yourself the right thing to do by her is the long sleep at the vets without the cattery stay. It's really shit, and really hard! But you're her person, and you're doing what's best for her. My beautiful, amazing Ddog went for her long sleep a week before last Christmas, it was heart breaking and the vet offered lots of tests/injections.. But when you know, you know. And it's about you being the person they can trust to know when they do really need to go, and let them move on pain free and be comfortable. It's a peaceful end that as humans we can only hope to have. Much love to you and DCat OP

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 16/08/2020 13:55

I agree I would sadly have her PTS.
She has a large mass in her stomach which may be causing her pain, she is being sick frequently, and she is distressed at having to take medication.
If things are only going to get worse for her, then PTS is a kind option, talk to your vets about being there for it (even if they come out to the car) and then spend the break mourning and recuperating.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 16/08/2020 13:58

But if you do decide to let things run their natural course then yes I wouldn't put her in the cattery. If she's in pain and distress she will want you close and I couldn't be away knowing they are like that.

I'm so sorry OP - having said goodbye to 7 pets it is very very hard.

AlternativePerspective · 16/08/2020 14:06

The question you need to ask yourself, if you put her through weeks of tablets, vomiting, getting thinner and dying by inches, who are you doing it for? Because invariably people delay on having animals put to sleep because they don’t yet want to part with them, but by putting them through treatment they are just delaying the inevitable.

As humans we have the ability to do this one last thing for our animals, and to help them move on before that life becomes unbearable. It’s the final act of love we can show them.

UsedUpUsername · 16/08/2020 14:15

I think this is a sweet option, just the two of you! The vet can help you choose the proper time to PTS as they just said you’ll know? Really?

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