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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

My son keeps on hitting cat.

55 replies

Curoi · 14/04/2020 19:07

My son aged 4 has severe asd and is non verbal and wont understand the most basic information. Our cat who really is a friendly lap cat has become a trigger and has suffered slaps and being picked up by his tail. My sons ot has been given us advice on how to deal with this but with no improvement. Today he my son tried to bite the cat. I don't know what to do any ideas?

OP posts:

LochJessMonster · 14/04/2020 19:08

Never let the cat and your son being within touching distance unless fully supervised.

HotPenguin · 14/04/2020 19:11

This sounds stressful. I think you need to keep the child and the cat apart anytime you aren't closely supervising. Can you shut the cat out in the day and then bring it in once your son is in bed for a fuss?

Original poster

Curoi · 14/04/2020 19:13

That's the thing we stay in open plan flat with only the bedrooms

OP posts:

wonderrotunda · 14/04/2020 19:18

Do you leave a bedroom door open? Cats often like somewhere dark and quiet to sleep...maybe he would be happy under the bed for a few hours in the daytime? Perhaps put a couple of cat toys under there to give him the idea

GetTheSprinkles · 14/04/2020 19:24

This must be very stressful for everyone involved, especially the cat. Is rehoming an option? It may sound extreme but I'd be amazed if this wasn't already having a very negative impact on the cat's mental health and wellbeing.

Original poster

Curoi · 14/04/2020 19:36

Our cat seems to love the busy family life and always chooses to be near us all even tho he has our bedroom to sleep In with all his toys. He's very social so wont cope being closed in there all day. He truly is the perfect family cat even tho my son hurts him not once has he bite him or even hiss at him. I've pretty certain that a rehome centre would find him a home quickly as hes already been fixed and still is a young cat (8 month) and is good with kids. It would break my heart to let him go especially if I don't try everything i can but i don't want him to be stressed or broken because of this

OP posts:

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/04/2020 19:58

I’d rehome. The cat sounds too tolerant.

Vinorosso74 · 14/04/2020 20:05

It does sound stressful for everyone. If your son is hitting the cat the kindest thing for the cat is to rehome (via a charity). It isn't the easiest time as a lot of places aren't rehoming but there are some places who can help if necessary. An aside from the cat is there much support for you and your DS to help around this (I realise these services have been cut right back)? In the meantime they can't be left together unsupervised.
Our last cat ended up in CP care as her owner had died; she went to live with the family who had her mum and they had an autistic son. The son didn't take to this other cat being there which was more of an issue than the mum and daughter cats being reunited after 6 years (apparently they more or less tolerated each other). I'm not sure exactly how the boy reacted or what happened but she was rehomed with us and was a very sweet natured and calm cat.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/04/2020 20:06

I'd definitely rehome. The poor cat might like the family life but I'm sure he's not liking being slapped or picked up by his tail. There'll come a point where he quite rightly turns on your son so please rehome him before it gets to that stage as it might make him harder to rehome.

Ritascornershop · 14/04/2020 20:12

Jesus, poor cat. You have to rehome him, this is not okay.

HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 14/04/2020 20:14

Rehome him or put up cat shelves in the family area so cat can be with you but high up.

Gingernaut · 14/04/2020 20:16

Rehome. Sorry, but that sounds horrendous.

Original poster

Curoi · 14/04/2020 20:28

I know your right. Trust me I do. He really is a special cat that would make a great family pet

OP posts:

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 14/04/2020 20:31

You need to rehome that cat before your child seriously injures it.

I know it does sound bad but then, your friendly cat will become the opposite if he is constantly put through such aggressions.

thecatneuterer · 14/04/2020 20:44

Christ almighty. Being picked up by it's tail can result in your cat's death. Tail pull injury can damage the urethra and make it impossible to urinate.

You need to keep them apart at all times until you can find a rescue to take him (which might not be until everything has gone back to normal). If that means keeping the cat shut in a bedroom, well then that's what you'll have to do.

Enough4me · 14/04/2020 22:07

Keep them apart and rehome asap. Do not take on any further pets.

Petiolaris · 14/04/2020 22:08

Rehome the cat if he’s going to be cruel to it. The situation will only get worse as he gets older.

cabbageking · 14/04/2020 22:10

Rehome the cat.

ProudMarys · 14/04/2020 22:17

Your cat sounds awesome. But I feel for you as I be gutted if I had to give up a much loved pet. But obviously your son can't help it and the poor cat can't live like that. Do you think a family member could take the cat in at all? Maybe your son needs time and some sort of help with this and obviously this can't be done in a short period of time. But if a family member could take the cat at least for now it might be less painful for you all as he won't be completed gone from your lives. Otherwise rehome at least you know he will make someone really happy

Yamihere · 14/04/2020 22:18

What a horrible situation for you. Some ideas: Put up shelves for cat out of reach of ds. Reward your son for ignoring cat constantly. Keep cat in another room when you can't keep an eye on them. Leave cat with plenty of things to do in the room so it's not a punishment for cat. Spend time with cat when ds is asleep. Use a teddy to try and teach ds how to have soft hands when interacting with animals. See if you can speak to a cat expert/behaviourist for more advice and support. Good luck 💐

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 14/04/2020 22:22

Your son is seriously triggered by your cat
Your cat could be seriously injured by your son.

It's in neither of their interests to continue like this and you know it

pilates · 14/04/2020 22:24

Rehome the cat

MehitabelWhurl · 14/04/2020 22:27

Ffs rehome the poor bloody cat ASAP.

itsthefuture · 14/04/2020 22:31

What consequences do you impose when your son does this?

My eldest has autism - but he also has to live in the real world where criminal behaviour or antisocial behaviour won't be tolerated no matter what his special needs so I'm afraid I did not allow bad behaviour as an excuse. He is 28 now and a fully functioning (ish) member of society. He had sanctions for bad behaviour- relevant to him and what he understood.

Original poster

Curoi · 15/04/2020 00:11

What consequences do you impose when your son does this?
My son has less understanding then a 6 month old. My sons ot thinks gradually exposing him to the cat may help with sign along and flash cards. For someone who has a son with asd you should know it's a spectrum disorder so our sons aren't the same. Rehoming isn't a option just now as when I went into the websites are were.closed. I don't know anyone to rehome him.

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