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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

My son keeps on hitting cat.

55 replies

Curoi · 14/04/2020 19:07

My son aged 4 has severe asd and is non verbal and wont understand the most basic information. Our cat who really is a friendly lap cat has become a trigger and has suffered slaps and being picked up by his tail. My sons ot has been given us advice on how to deal with this but with no improvement. Today he my son tried to bite the cat. I don't know what to do any ideas?

OP posts:
pilates · 15/04/2020 09:54

I’m worried and upset the cat is going to be hurt. I would be contacting cat protection when the lock down has finished but in the meantime can you please closely monitor your son.

MehitabelWhurl · 15/04/2020 10:17

Well you’re going to have to keep them apart at all times then.

BovaryX · 15/04/2020 12:06

Your son is physically abusive to your cat. You need to rehome the cat. No pet should be subjected to physical abuse.

BovaryX · 15/04/2020 12:12

OP, you describe your cat being exposed to violence by your son. It's distressing to read and must be awful for your cat. Can you protect your cat until lockdown ends, then rehome him? No cat should live in an environment like that.

Original poster
Curoi · 15/04/2020 13:17

I actually found a small charity that may be able to help but since they only help in emergency situations they need someone from my sons team to back up what I'm saying.

OP posts:
Oldestchild90s · 15/04/2020 13:40

I think for now you should split them up as much as you can. If that's easy enough for you to do. If so, keep them apart until this has all blown over then maybe look for a home. As heartbreaking as it is, in the long run it will be beneficial for your poor kitty!

thecatneuterer · 15/04/2020 14:06

If that doesn't work out then you really will have to shut the cat in your bedroom unless your son is in bed.

Lovemusic33 · 15/04/2020 14:14

It's hard op but I think you have to rehome the cat. I have a dd with ASD and recently had a bad expereance with a rescue dog, my daughter didn't hurt the dog but the dog was scared of her due to her bouncing around and hand flapping, I had to send the dog back to the rescue and I felt really bad but obviously my daughter comes first. Your son doesn't understand how to have a relationship with the cat, he possibly sees it as a toy, having a cat just isn't going to work out how ever much you want it too.

Original poster
Curoi · 15/04/2020 14:21

I'm going to keep the cat In my Dds bedroom though the day as she's often there so he has some company. She's also got a big window he likes looking out

OP posts:
ginghamstarfish · 15/04/2020 14:33

Rehome the poor cat .

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 15/04/2020 18:14

No, you cannot segregate the poor cat, you need to let go of it. Are you really suggesting that the cat needs to be locked in a bedroom all day long for the foreseeable to avoid your child hurting it? Nice life for a cat to have!

Craftycorvid · 15/04/2020 18:23

Oh no! Poor old cat! They can be amazingly tolerant of children actually. When I was little our lovely old tomcat put up with a lot of rough-housing and never scratched or bit me. Does sound like puss might need peace and quiet/a new home if the problem can’t be solved.

Original poster
Curoi · 15/04/2020 19:09

What options do I have then to let him go? Considering I've just been told no by the only one that's still taking cats in? And no I'm not putting him on gumtree.

Since rehoming isn't possible just now I'm going to try and make it work.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 15/04/2020 19:12

I think people need to remember that it’s not easy to surrender a cat to a rescue at the best of times.

This isn’t the best of times anyway.

XylophoneSymphony · 15/04/2020 19:15

This sounds a very difficult situation. Especially currently when nobody can help and the rehoming schemes may be on hold.
Like you said maybe keeping the cat in one room till you can arrange something
I would be quite worried not only for the cat but that you don’t could be badly bitten or scratched so in seems sensible in the long term to rehome x

XylophoneSymphony · 15/04/2020 19:16

Your son not you do t sorry my phone autocorrected

Craftycorvid · 15/04/2020 19:42

Is the cat an outdoor cat? Just wondering if he could get out when he needs a breather.

itsthefuture · 16/04/2020 01:28

Of course I know asd is a
Spectrum. So what are your plans when he is 15 and 6ft rather than 4 ?

I'm not being unkind- but if you are
Saying he will never learn the difference between right and wrong what's the future look like for him and you? Asd is a developmental disorder-he isn't likely to be stuck in the mindset of a 6 month old. - I know and appreciate how difficult it is but even very young children can understand consequences. If he can't - rehome the cat.

Boswello · 16/04/2020 01:42

You're doing the right thing OP - keep them apart until you can rehome him safely. It sounds really hard with your son.

Original poster
Curoi · 16/04/2020 15:21

I'm not saying he wont ever learn the difference between right and wrong. At this moment of time he doesn't know nor understand. I really don't know what I'm going to do when hes 15 as hes already big and strong now. It's one of my biggest fears and I'm scared.

I've managed to get a very temporary home for my cat until he can be rehomed.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 18/04/2020 06:57

Saying he will never learn the difference between right and wrong what's the future look like for him and you? Asd is a developmental disorder-he isn't likely to be stuck in the mindset of a 6 month old. - I know and appreciate how difficult it is but even very young children can understand consequences. If he can't - rehome the cat

There are many people with ASD who never learn to understand consequences, that's the nature of their condition!
OP, I do think you're better off rehoming the cat. Your child has no understanding, and is hurting it. For the cats sake, it needs to go.

Mombie2016 · 18/04/2020 07:30

He is non verbal and has the mindset of a baby, he sounds very much like my cousin (who is now an adult and she is exactly the same at 24 as she was at 4), there is some serious ignorance of severe ASD on this thread.

OP - talk to rehoming charities in your local area. Mine are fantastic and will likely have some great advice for you, they may even have foster carers for cats.

LunaLula83 · 18/04/2020 07:50

Poor cat

RoscoePColtrane · 18/04/2020 07:57

It is not going to be an easy fix as this is now becoming habitual behaviour. Do you have a toy cat? Try getting a photo of the cat and putting a red cross over the photo. Every time dc goes for the real cat, show him the photo and say "No (cat"s name)" If you have a toy cat, give him that as a swap. Model gentle stroking on the toy animal.
As I say, wont be a quick fix but do be persistent with it. Ensure you keep the language really reduced so it is very clear what you are telling dc and it is not lost in conversation.

LazyFace · 18/04/2020 08:26

I'm not sure how this could be improved. I know it'd be really hard but I also think you should rehome the cat.

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