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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Our first family cat(s) - how to find a friendly cat?

43 replies

minipie · 13/08/2019 14:43

We’ve got children age nearly 7 and 4.5 and would love to get a cat (I’d prefer a pair) fairly soon.

I grew up with Burmese cats and love that they are so friendly and welcome human attention. Both my DC love animals and one in particular will happily spend hours stroking a cat if it will let her (she knows it’s up to the cat!)

I am wondering what is the best route to finding a very friendly cat or two. I know there are no guarantees but would like to maximise the chances.

Do we look at Burmese and similar breeds with known attention loving temperaments? Or do we go to a rescue for kittens - ethically preferable but much wider variety of personalities? We could look at young adult rescue cats who are said to be friendly, but then are less likely to find a pair, plus many seem to be unsuitable for families.

We would like the cats to be able to go out in the garden, we live mid terrace so it’s fairly safe I think, but I know some breeders will only accept indoor homes.

I am at home but may return to part time work sometime next year (not until any kittens are grown/settled of course).

Any advice welcome please.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 13/08/2019 15:25

My local cat protection have plenty of pairs of cats, some are friendly some a bit quieter but you get the chance to go in and stroke them so you'll see how they are with you and dc. Kittens are hard work and the novelty soon wears off with children sometimes. I think it's better to visit rescue centres rather than look at specific breeds. Where are you in the country, are there rescues nese you.

viccat · 13/08/2019 16:08

You need a pair of (young) adult cats from a rescue - a pair that is already assessed as child-friendly and sociable.

With kittens you just never know what their personalities will be like when they grow up.

KatherineJaneway · 13/08/2019 16:09

Go to a good rescue like Wood Green who assess the cats and can tell you what their personalities are like.

thecatneuterer · 13/08/2019 16:28

As everyone else says - go to a rescue. They will have assessed all their cats and will know which are friendly and good with children.

You could get kittens (also from a rescue of course) but then it's a lottery - it's impossible to know what their adult personalities will be.

Here is a website that can guide you to your local rescues: www.catchat.org

Lackofsleepforyears · 13/08/2019 16:33

We got our rescue cat when our children were 6, 4 and 4 through catchat. She was 7 months old. We went to a cat foster home and the lady matched us to the cat saying her personality would be perfect for us. She had about 10! She was spot on.

Vinorosso74 · 13/08/2019 16:55

Rescues are definitely the way to go. An adult pair would be ideal (pairs often take longer to home than singles). The rescues will knowing they are suitable to live with children and they will also want all members of the household to meet the cat(s) to check cats and you all get on.
The ideal cats may not be there immediately so don't be disheartened.

30to50FeralHogs · 13/08/2019 17:03

We chose two cats from a rescue. One of them was super friendly and wanted tickles while we were checking them all out, but the people who ran the rescue centre told us not to bother with him, as he was ‘bonded’ with another less friendly cat and we’d have to take them both together.

We decided we’d be happy with one friendly cat and one who could just mind her own business, so we took them anyway. I felt really sad that he could have ended up stuck there just because he an anti-social friend Grin

Anyway, it turns out the other cat is actually very sweet, just very shy. She seems like she has been badly treated in the past as she’s very nervous, but once she trusts you she’s an absolute delight.

So please do think about giving a home to a less obvious cat. It’s nice to have kitty cuddles too of course, but we have the best of both worlds - one who follows you around looking for fuss and one who has a lot of character but likes her own space.

This is the ‘unfriendly’ one Smile. If you try and touch her tummy she will murder you, but she likes a little ear scratch and, like so many things, her affection means all the more for being hard won Grin

Ellmau · 13/08/2019 20:38

Is there a Burmese breed rescue?

Original poster
minipie · 13/08/2019 21:08

Thanks everyone! Sorry I posted and disappeared.

I have trawled through catchat a few times previously and have also looked at Battersea (which we’re near to) and the local RSPCA sites.... there never seems to be a young adult pair who are young child suitable but maybe I just need to keep looking!

I forgot to say, I would prefer females as a friend had a problem with their male cat fighting and spraying (even post op) and I gather this is common like 1 in 10 ... that narrows it down even more of course. Although perhaps if they were a young adult the rescue would already know if they had this issue?

Anyone know how up to date the rescues keep their websites?

Definitely not bothered about them being kittens, breeders keep them till 16 weeks iirc so we wouldn’t get the fluffy stage that way either.

OP posts:
Original poster
minipie · 13/08/2019 21:10

Ellmau Yes there is, and other similar breeds have their own rescues but it seems very rare for them to actually have cats listed for rehoming. My guess is they get rehomed via word of mouth mostly.

OP posts:
CasualChocolate · 13/08/2019 21:13

Try cats protection, they are nationwide and have foster homes everywhere. We have three male cats all from kittens all from rescue and we got them all at different times so not brothers. Maybe we're very lucky with ours as they don't fight with each other and don't spray either but they have all done neutered. Even though some breeds can be friendlier I think it's mostly how you treat them and socialise them.

Potentialmadcatlady · 13/08/2019 21:16

Neutered boys are generally much more affectionate and sloppy so don’t rule them out. I have three boys and three girls at min (I foster)- two of the girls would be a total no no with kids. One of them would be fine. All of the boys are cuddle monsters who are great with kids. Certain breeds would fulfill your wish list but I would agree with the others. Contact a few rescues ( before visiting and falling in love with someone unsuitable like I would) and tell them what you think you need to suit your lifestyle/family and they will be able to tell you who they have that would be most suitable...

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 13/08/2019 21:18

Cats protection. We've got all our cats from there. 3 before we had the kids and then after they unfortunately died (old age) we got the 2 sisters we have now. The kids were used to cats as they were with us before them, and were 2 and 5 when we got the ones we have now.
They are very friendly with us, prowl the neighbourhood but don't let any of the neighbours pet them interestingly.

UpsyDaisysarmpit · 13/08/2019 21:18

Another one saying ask for a friendly cat or bonded pair, rather than a kitten. My girl is the result of asking the lady if she had any really friendly one. She is the sweetest cat ever and we all love her. She was a mum cat and she was then spayed before she came to us. Still only 1.

MrsBertBibby · 13/08/2019 21:19

Cats Protection here are great at matching cats to homes. There's a whole local army of cat slaves on their Facebook page, all posting updates on their adoptees. They still remember my old lady from when I got her 10 years ago. Fab organisation.

ysmaem · 13/08/2019 21:31

Definitely agree with pp and pop into a rescue centre and you'll get a pair of cats suited to you.
With kittens you just don't know what they're temperament, attitude and personality will be like when they've grown. I've had 3 kittens 1st was horrendous and attacked everyone, 2nd is absolutely lovely and is a massive cuddle bug and 3rd is lovely but he practically lives outdoors

Vinorosso74 · 13/08/2019 21:37

If you're near Battersea then Cats Protection have an adoption centre Mitcham. I follow a small rescue called The Ginger Cat House Rescue in Worcester Park; they are always after homes for their cats. They are on Facebook.
I volunteer for CP (not at Mitcham but a less swish centre) and the available cats list on the adoption centres is pretty much up to date but the branches may not be as they are volunteer run. I would imagine that the larger charities are similar.

Original poster
minipie · 13/08/2019 21:43

Thanks everyone, I will look at cats protection, I had missed them before. also maybe they are happier to let cats live with smallish children - some rescues’ listings all seem to say adults only or teenagers.

I will also reconsider boys, it does seem like there are more pairs of brothers out there rather than sisters. (wonder why??) If they’re young adults and been neutered for some time then hopefully the rescue would know if they’d got an issue with fighting or spraying.. and would tell me... !

It’s true that with kittens you can’t tell, although saying that I’ve never met a burmese cat who didn’t love attention. It would be lovely to give a rescue pair a home though.

OP posts:
Original poster
minipie · 13/08/2019 21:45

Sorry last question! How old do they need to be for their personality to be clear?

eg is 4 months enough?

OP posts:
JollyGiraffe · 13/08/2019 21:46

www.cats.org.uk/searchresults.aspx?cid=261572&b=375

Have a look at is mother and son pair at Cats Protection in north london. They sound perfect for you!

Wolfiefan · 13/08/2019 21:49

Our first cats were about 2. 4 months is nowhere near old enough. You want actual adults. We had a mum and son. From Katz castle in Cobham if you’re anywhere near. We said we wanted a pair and they took us round each pair they had and let us meet. You really can’t tell from an online profile what cat would suit you.

MrsBertBibby · 13/08/2019 21:50

Cats protection let me adopt my 3 year olds when my son was just 5, although they specify different ages for different cats, based on temperament and nerviness.

4 months is still pretty young. I would really go talk to CP. They are such cat lovers, they will really try to get the right cats for you, for the cats' sakes as much as yours!

JollyGiraffe · 13/08/2019 21:51

Or if you're in South London, Freya and Timmy:

www.cats.org.uk/mitcham/adopt-a-cat/?cid=261165

MrsBertBibby · 13/08/2019 21:53

CP also have a lot of cats in foster homes rather than a centre, so you may need to do a little more legwork to meet them.

Vinorosso74 · 13/08/2019 21:53

OP were you looking at Freya and Timmy as they are 4 months??
One thing I forgot to say the CP site has to populate the "can live with a family". If they don't know it is generally filled with no until they get to know the cat more and it meets kids. Is always worth a phone call.

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