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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

My old girl pts today

79 replies

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 06:38

So it's Sunday morning, early. My old beautiful girl is 19! She's been frail for a while, very unsteady, but eating and drinking. Last night she appeared to be off her legs. I've had a sleepless night, she now is struggling to stand. She isn't interested in food but if I take her to her water she will drink. She looks a mess bless her as she's had an ongoing eye infection so all round her eye the fur is matter with pus. She's pure white and of course it looks awful. But she's had antibiotic drops and I clean her with water wipes. All around her snout is a mess too as she's been unable yo clean herself after eating. Again I've been cleaning her myself. This morning she's struggling to stand and when she tries to walk she is falling to one side. The time I've been dreading has come. Rang the vets and they were lovely they've asked me to bring her down at 9, which is two and a half hours off. I'm on my own with my son (single parent) he's 16 and is really upset obviously he's known her since he was born!!! Please reassure me I'm
Doing the right thing I feel like I'm 'condemning' her to death! I can't see her struggle tho. Also feeling so much guilt as I feel almost 'relieved' as she has been incontinent around the house for a while And it's been hard work. Someone please help........

OP posts:

SnowBrussels · 23/09/2018 06:43

I’m sorry you’re going through this. 19 is a long life for a cat and she was loved and cared for all this time. The last thing you can do for her is to stop her suffering any more and be there for her, hold her and talk to her in her last moments.
Remember the happy times and talk about them.
Hugs

MrsMozart · 23/09/2018 06:56

I'm sorry it's an action you have to take rather than nature taking, but it sounds like the right thing at the right time.

A handhold from me.

Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 06:57

I can't sit with her whilst she goes. Please don't judge me. I couldn't do it with my old boy last year either. My friend is coming with me she sat with my boy and she will sit with my girl too. I will give her a cuddle and tell her how much I love her then I have to leave 😞😞😞

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DoraChance · 23/09/2018 06:59

Sounds like you're doing the right thing OP. It's so hard though, especially when they've been a part of your life for so long. My eldest is 18 and has thyroid and kidney problems, and high blood pressure. I think she's heading in a similar direction. Handhold from me

MyNameIsJane · 23/09/2018 07:05

I won’t judge you for not being able to stay. My DH couldn’t stay with our dog and I know they had the strongest bond in our family. Thinking of you and your son and your beloved pet today. I think you are doing the right thing.

Yogagirl123 · 23/09/2018 07:05

Hand hold OP, it is such a sad day. Losing a pet is really hard, but you are making the decision out of love and I am sure the vet will support you.

Pleased that you have a friend to go with, take it easy over the next few days.

MrsMozart · 23/09/2018 07:08

You do what you jeed to do to help him be calm. If that's a kiss and cuddle and leaving him with your friend then that's the right thing to do.

Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 07:13

Thank you all. I will post a pic of her (before she looked messy bless her) xxx

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Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 07:15

This is my beautiful girl

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Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 07:18

My heart is breaking. I know I WILL cope of course I will, I did when my boy went. But I'm at that stage where it's so raw and the light can't be seen at the end of the tunnel so to speak x

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HoraceWimpIsThisYourLife · 23/09/2018 07:23

So sorry Shoegal
No judgment from me, if you can’t do it you can’t do it. It doesn’t reflect on how much you love her, you’ve shown that through the amount of care you’ve given her.

You are doing the right thing. She is in pain and needs a good sleep now

myorangehoover · 23/09/2018 07:25

Had a very similar scenario with our very elderly cat. Had been doing more and more physical care for her- helping her with cleaning and suchlike, there were thyroid issues and more. Until one day when she couldn't get up and I knew it was time. I called the vet as soon as possible and she was PTS that morning. I know exactly what you mean about the guilty feeling mixed with relief. But actually, I think she was ready to go and I tried to think of it as helping her one last time. Afterwards, I was very sad and missed her very much but also felt relief that she was out of any discomfort and stress. The decision you've made today is a hard one but is the right and brave thing to do.

Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 07:30

Thank you. It's so bloody hard isn't it. Pain, real physical pain is what I'm feeling x

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Want2beme · 23/09/2018 07:33

Sorry you're having to go through this. It's one of the hardest decisions to make. We all understand your heartache. She's a beautiful puss

Tara336 · 23/09/2018 07:35

I’m so sorry. It sounds like it’s time for her. I didn’t stay with my girl (the vet didn’t give me an option) Your doing this out of love for her, part of owning a pet is knowing we will have to let them go and it’s heartbreaking. I wish you well x

Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 07:39

It's so hard cuddling her knowing in a few hours she'll be gone 💔

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bellinisurge · 23/09/2018 07:40

You are being so wonderfully kind and brave.
Sometimes it's really shit being a grown up when all you want to do is cry.
I have been there. What you need to do is the last act of kindness for your cat.
Love to all of you from a total stranger.

Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 07:44

Thank you. Yes you're right being a grown up is shit! My son is doing what I want to do, he doesn't want to see her suffer so he's locked himself in his bedroom. Xx

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Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 08:14

Is anyone there? Time is drawing near, I'm sure I will cope but it's bloody hard. I have less than an hour left with her 💔💔

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bellinisurge · 23/09/2018 08:17

Take your deepest breath. This is the true meaning of kindness. The vet will be gentle. I wish it wasn't happening for you. Be as brave as you can be.

Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 08:19

Sorry I'm rambling. Another guilt feeling...... when my boy went it was exactly the same circumstances. Emergency vets appointment snd it cost £150. They offered his ashes back but I just couldn't afford the extra cost. I'm sat here now trying to 'enjoy' my final cuddles and already feeling guilt at the fact I WANT her back, BUT it's extra money I haven't got and I didn't get my boy back so it's not 'fair' 💔💔

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Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 08:20

Bellini thank you I don't want to be kind I want to be selfish and keep her forever 💔💔

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Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 08:21

Also I remember the feelings I had with my boy, I tortured myself all day thinking of his little body lying lifeless in the vets until they took him to be cremated.

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lynmilne65 · 23/09/2018 08:23

Had my 17 year old girl pts last year 😭😭😭☹️☹️☹️

Original poster

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 08:24

Lynn 💔 my boy was17 too. X

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