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Original poster

My old girl pts today

79 replies

Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 06:38

So it's Sunday morning, early. My old beautiful girl is 19! She's been frail for a while, very unsteady, but eating and drinking. Last night she appeared to be off her legs. I've had a sleepless night, she now is struggling to stand. She isn't interested in food but if I take her to her water she will drink. She looks a mess bless her as she's had an ongoing eye infection so all round her eye the fur is matter with pus. She's pure white and of course it looks awful. But she's had antibiotic drops and I clean her with water wipes. All around her snout is a mess too as she's been unable yo clean herself after eating. Again I've been cleaning her myself. This morning she's struggling to stand and when she tries to walk she is falling to one side. The time I've been dreading has come. Rang the vets and they were lovely they've asked me to bring her down at 9, which is two and a half hours off. I'm on my own with my son (single parent) he's 16 and is really upset obviously he's known her since he was born!!! Please reassure me I'm
Doing the right thing I feel like I'm 'condemning' her to death! I can't see her struggle tho. Also feeling so much guilt as I feel almost 'relieved' as she has been incontinent around the house for a while And it's been hard work. Someone please help........

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 23/09/2018 09:00

So sorry. It's awful. I cuddled my cat and have actually got a lot of comfort from that. Especially as I knew exactly what was happening and not imagining what was happening. It was incredibly peaceful and dignified for her. She literally just went to sleep in my arms. If you really can't do it that's ok. But you might also find it a comfort.

Original poster
Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 09:16

I
At the vets now. My friend is with her I've cuddled her all the way and kissed her goodbye she's declined in the last hour so I know it's the right action but my god my heart is shattered xx

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 23/09/2018 09:18

Glad you have someone with you.
Xx

Toddlerteaplease · 23/09/2018 09:36

It's the last act of love you can give her.ThanksThanksThanks go easy on yourself.

MrsMozart · 23/09/2018 10:19

I hope all is as good as it can be lass.

I lost my young horse two weeks ago today. Had to have him put to sleep. It's not really hit me yet. The day after my rabbit died and I don't know why. Both losses (sort of expected and not at all) have had their effects. I'm glad I could do the right thing for my horse and I wish I'd known if my rabbit was suffering.

Huge hugs to you.

MrsMozart · 23/09/2018 10:22

I meant to add, I've never kept my animals' ashes. I have many pictures of them and they're in my memories. Family have had various keepsakes made for me - a photo book, a painting, a framed photograph, a bracelet - and they've eased the ache and made me sometimes cry but mainly smile.

Original poster
Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 11:10

Mrs Mozart sorry to hear about your horse and rabbit 💔 pets are family aren't they is prefer an animal to a human anyway xx

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 23/09/2018 11:18

I have ordered a glass pig paperweight made of blue glass,Which I love, With Fatty's ashes in. I wouldn't normally do things like that but it felt right. I bought my friend the same pig years ago, and I always liked it.

Shmithecat · 23/09/2018 11:22

So sorry OP, it's the hardest and saddest but kindest thing to do. Xx

badgeronabicycle · 23/09/2018 11:22

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our

Original poster
Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 11:23

I feel guilty as I never got my boys ashes back. Financially i was in a different situation. Please tell me I'm not forgetting my boy just cos I am getting my girls ashes back and not his xx

OP posts:
badgeronabicycle · 23/09/2018 11:28

Sorry, posted too soon 🙁
We lost our 16 year old boy some years ago now. He had diabetes, renal failure and eventually an abscess on his jaw. It was devastating to have him pts but he was suffering and it wasn't right. I was there with him and it was very peaceful, but so hard. When I think of him I think of that moment, rather than him in his prime, so I totally understand why you can't be with her at the end. You are doing the best thing for your beautiful girl. Sending hugs.

MrsMozart · 23/09/2018 11:43

There's no way you'll forget him.

I've not had any of mine back and I love and remember every single one of them.

JanetWeb2812 · 23/09/2018 14:16

So sorry to hear of your loss, but nineteen is a very good age and I know her life was filled with love.

I have to say that I think owners should stay with their pets to provide a familiar face and reassurance during those very last moments.

bellinisurge · 23/09/2018 14:25

You do what works for you. You now keep your cats in your heart. I think there's plenty of room for them.

SnowBrussels · 23/09/2018 15:54

Everyone deals differently with losses like this. Thinking of you x

Original poster
Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 16:59

It's so painful today just trying to put one foot in front of the other! 💔💔

OP posts:
MrsMozart · 23/09/2018 17:07

Been thinking about you.

It is beyond crap that's for sure lass Flowers

Original poster
Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 17:19

It certainly is. I've put a basket of logs where her bed was, but I feel she's still there? A gap in the kitchen where her food bowls were. And a huge gap in my heart 💔💔

OP posts:
Rudgie47 · 23/09/2018 17:59

Sorry to hear about your cat, she clearly was very loved. Just take it easy and think you have done the best for her. No one can live forever animal or person.
When you are ready get another and choose a rescue, so many cats are in rescues is terrible.
I've not had any of mine back, I just let the vet deal with it.
With one of my old cats my Mum took her round to the vets and couldn't cope with being with her in the final moments. I've done it with another and it wasn't easy. People deal with things differently and it sounds like you did your very best for your cat.

Blankspace4 · 23/09/2018 18:03

Crying reading this 😢

You have done the absolute and most loving thing you can. It will get easier, but know that you have given her the most wonderful life and she is now free from suffering.

19 is a grand old age and your pictures are beautiful. Thinking of you this evening

Original poster
Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 18:28

Thank you all. I'm sat with a glass of wine and a very heavy but empty heart. ❤️

OP posts:
MrsMozart · 23/09/2018 18:33

I know what you mean about still being there. When we lost our little dog I'd keep holding the door open for him and going back to check he was settled for the night.

All I can say is it does get, not easier, but bearable.

Original poster
Shoegal0305 · 23/09/2018 18:39

Thank you. I have lived in my house for 12 years and realised I've never closed the internal doors!!!! Always lefts them slightly open so the cats could move freely! It's weird shutting them. Her bed was to the left of my armchair and now there is a basket of logs, in the kitchen there's a gap where her bowls were. I took her old bed to the tip earlier, I know if I'd left it I'd torture myself and it's no use to animal rescue or another cat. It was horrible. Keep thinking that she's lying at the vets right now when she should be cuddled up with me, and her bed is in a skip. I knew I had to do it as like I say I'd sit and stare at it or smell it!!!! She doesn't need it now. It's so bloody hard xx

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 23/09/2018 18:53

You did well to clear her things away quickly. I was tentatively going to suggest it if you sounded strong enough.
This is a bereavement. I've lost both my beloved parents so I don't use the term lightly.
Be kind to yourself.

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