Had "that" conversation with the vet about Vinocat

[Vinorosso74]

Been the vets as Vinocat has suddenly gone downhill. She has been vomiting a lot and is so skinny and frail, her weight is down to 1.8kg so think we are going to need to make that decision sooner rather than later.
The vet was lovely and said Vinocat is a fighter but doesn't think her body can cope any more. She's had an anti sickness injection and we'll see how she goes in the next few days.
Devastated but I know we can't let her suffer.
DD is 7 and I don't know how to explain about PTS to her?

No advice, but I am so sorry

Very sorry about this - just been through it myself. Our kids are older now but when a previous cat died we made a scrapbook together with our youngest of pictures of the cat - it seemed to help.

Been there done that. I explained things in a very practical way to my DD when she was 5 and we had to get our cat put down. We said that the cat was very sick and we couldn't make her better. We answered any questions she had and we had a wonderful cat funeral. She did get to see the dead cat and it didn't bother her.

We said that we were very upset about the cat and it was ok to cry and be sad. We also said we had lots of happy memories and that was important too and that the cat had had a long and happy life with us. Because she was our cat and we were responsible owners we had to make sure that she had the best death too.

Sorry that you're at this point. My dd 6 was devastated when when I had our old boy pts in august. I found the best thing was honestly explaining that he was very old, had had a lovely life with us but we had reached a point where he was not well and the vet just could make him better any more. The vet, who is lovely, told me not to involve her in the decision as such. She said parents often say to their small child - what do you think? when this is a moment to take charge and take it on the chin.

Blue Cross is also helpful:

www.bluecross.org.uk/sites/default/files/downloads/Children%20and%20pet%20loss.pdf

Tough but such an important part of having pets. You need to lead the way for your dc.

Thank you all it means a lot and for the Blue Cross link. Our vet is lovely and was great discussing it this morning. She said similar to you Thelongrider. Luckily DD understands Vinocat is old and ill.

Just reread my post. Sorry I sound so hard faced and grumpy. Not intended! I didn't bring my daughter with me when cat was pts. She was on holiday with her dad. I think that was possibly better but I don't know.

She knew he was ill and loved helping with his medicine, coming with me to see the vet and generally being involved. I think the hard thing is the finality of course. We still talk about cat all the time and dd is starting to help me plot his replacement.

Do you have other pets?

Don't use the term 'put to sleep' - your child might worry and associate sleep with death.

Sorry you're having to make that decision, it's really tough

My own parents were very upfront about death and dying as being part of life. I also had a very rural childhood so I was well acquainted with the death of other animals.

I've found that the death of pets helps when other people in the child's life die. It takes away some of the very natural fear.

It's not an easy time but it is important and I'll be sending you a virtual hug.

DP finished work early so we've spoken to DD. There were lots of tears (from all of us) but we've been honest and I think she understands.
We just have the one cat. I volunteer at CP so I know we will adopt another in the future but this little lady has been a big part of our family.
Time for

My thoughts are with you and your family. Vinocat is very loved, that is clear. Be kind to yourselves.

I'm very sorry to hear your news.
Honesty the best policy I think.

So bit of an update. Vinocat is living up to her fighter status and is a lot brighter, eating well, is stronger (no wobbles when she stands up) and no vomiting.
She isn't grooming herself and poos have been found in odd places, pees in tray though.
She is quite happy and sociable again which makes the decision harder. Spoke to vet yesterday who thinks we just take it day by day.

Day by day sounds best and will also give you time to come to terms (to some degree) and to prepare. Here's to some time filled with sunshine, treats and cuddles.

Enjoy the time you have. Gentle squeeze for vinocat.