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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Second cat. male or female or not at all

11 replies

LiquoriceWheel · 12/02/2017 08:15

I have a one year old female cat and I was thinking about getting a second cat down the track because DP and I are about to take on new jobs which involve a fair bit of travelling and long hours to boot. At the moment DP has been working part time, so lots of interaction with the cat. She is very very spoilt (our fault obviously).

However, I'm a bit worried kitty will be too lonely by herself. I've read that a male and female cat (desexed) live in more harmony than say two females and two males. Does anyone know this to be true? Also can a cat really live on its own and be ok? Please be honest, I know a lot of people say you can't have enough cats but I'm not sure that applies to every situation Smile. Also we live in an apartment and we have chosen to have indoor cats only (lots of reasons, please don't flame). Please advise me, thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 12/02/2017 08:46

I have too indoor girls (sisters) and have been advised if I get a third to get a boy. Cat's are usually ok on their own but two is much better.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 12/02/2017 09:36

My cat is a single cat and is quite happy on his own. He plays with his toys and chases imaginary creatures around and sleeps the rest of the time. We were adopted by a stray a few years ago and hoped to keep him, but my cat didn't like it and kept walking out of the house. We were worried he would be driven out so that made the decision he would always be an only cat.

pilates · 12/02/2017 09:55

Op, I have thought about getting another cat/kitten. Our's is 2.5 but I worry that she might not take kindly to a new addition. I think she is happy (who knows) because she is lavished with attention from all four of us. The problem is you cannot guarantee they will get on with another cat and so I do not want to take the risk. I would have thought if you are introducing a new addition you would have to spend more time in the beginning settling them in, giving appropriate space and monitoring behaviour.

WingsAloft · 12/02/2017 10:25

Ours are indoor cats too so no flaming here Smile We've always had multiple cats, mostly brought home together as kittens but some brought in a bit older. If you're going to do bring home a companion for a slightly older cat I would say choose a cat who is:

  • of the opposite sex
  • known to get along with most other cats (if you're going to a shelter they usually have a good idea of the cats' personalities)
  • younger than your own cat
  • still playful

I've observed that playing together, even if it's just chasing the same Da Bird, really helps them learn to get along. Get them so focussed on the toy that they forget the other cat is there, and the other cat soon seems less of a threat.

There's lots of advice available about the procedure for introducing a new cat to a household. It's worth reading and following.

I've only encountered one cat who hated all other cats without reservation, and she was middle aged and generally quite grumpy. At the moment we have two fosters in addition to our own two, and it's only taken a week for the three girls to exchange whisker rubs as they pass in the hallway. My boy is doing his best to pretend that his house isn't currently overrun with girl cats Grin

thecatneuterer · 12/02/2017 10:27

I would say that the sex has little or no bearing on the outcome. What you need is a cat that is demonstrably a cat's cat - that seeks out the company of other cats. A good rescue should know which of their cats are like this. That is then at least half the battle won.

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 12/02/2017 10:31

As a rule you want opposite sex and a youger age so they don't compete to be queen bee or alpha male. Given her age etc she'll probably really take to a male kitten, she can play with it because she's still young herself and look after it too.

Original poster
LiquoriceWheel · 12/02/2017 21:33

Thanks for all your replies. There's still a lot to think about and I'm definitely not going to rush into anything. I'll mull it over a lot more but you've all given me a lot more confidence either way SmileCake

OP posts:
mycatwantstokillme1 · 12/02/2017 21:35

We've had a mixture of both and found that boy/girl overall got on better than 2 females. We only have one cat now who's just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I don't think I'll ever have another, the pain I feel now is unbearable, knowing that our beautiful old boy won't be here in Spring Sad

flumpybear · 12/02/2017 21:39

We have a 10 ish year old male cat and about two years ago got a female kitten - I was a bit worried as he's quite ferocious but they're gorgeous together - lots of licking and snuggling but play scrapping too ...

Original poster
LiquoriceWheel · 12/02/2017 21:59

Mycat I'm so sorry Flowers

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 13/02/2017 00:02

We have two girls and a boy - all between ages of 2 and 6 months. The youngest girl and our boy have been having a bit of tension over who's boss, although the 6 month old hasn't been spayed yet. She kept pooing in the spare room but has recently stopped. Our oldest girl is more into humans than other cats although she pined far more when she was by herself. Ours are all ragdolls so indoor cats. One advantage is that they chase each other and don't become overweight so easily.

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