So we rehomed the Shitten because Big Pussy Boy was bullying her...

[MrsSchadenfreude]

She has settled into her new home like a dream. Is clean, loved, playful and dream kitteh for her new Mummy and Daddy, who are retired and play with her all day.

However, since she left, Big Pussy Boy has become yowly for no reason. (He wasn't at all yowly before; he's Maine Coon so more of an intermittent chirruper.) He sits in the hall or sitting room and yowls. Loudly. It's as if he doesn't know where we are and yowls because he can't see us. But then he comes into the sitting room or bedroom and yowls a bit more.

He has also become very bitey. I've been sitting on the sofa this evening, minding my own business, and he keeps biting my arm. He sort of holds it in his mouth, increases his grip and won't let go. When he settles down, he's back to his usual loving and lovely self, with snuggles and purrs. (He's washing my hair right now.) I think he might be lonely. DH won't entertain the idea of another cat - any ideas?

Try zylkene, it calms them right down. It's a big change for him despite the bullying.

Oooh Maine coon! Pic please

Oh Zylkene, good idea, had forgotten about that!!

He was an only cat before we got the Shitten. I think the problem was that he loved her too much - always wanted to cuddle her, wash her, be with her, and it stressed her out, hence the pooing. He did have a toy kitten that miaowed, that he used to carry around in his mouth, and love and wash, but it got really revolting and eventually broke. He also stole a snowman from the Christmas tree that had a bell on it, that he loved until he pulled its head off and broke it. Then he lost interest. We haven't found anything that he has loved since, although he did have a mild flirtation with a Zippy toy.

What do you do when he yowls?

I call him, and he eventually comes running and then we have cuddles. If it's in the night, I go and fetch him and he goes on his blankie at the foot of the bed.

Ah. It did sound like attention seeking.

I'd maybe cut out the middleman and just pop him in/on bed right away of a nighttime?

PS - it's excellent news about Herself and her devoted new carers.

Maybe another toy kitten?

He is not overly endowed with brains and does not seem to have grasped that when the lights go out, we go to bed, so perhaps I should take him in with me when I go. I don't know if he does, but I worry that he yowls all day if we're not here.

He probably goes to sleep. No point in yelling to yourself in the cat world.

He might take to a new soft toy now the shitten is gone, it sounds like only inanimate objects can cope with his love bombing.

Also sounds like he's testing boundaries, the arm biting you describe sounds like a prelude to cat shagging, the male bites down on the female's neck. In neutered males it's usually a show of dominance.

Well three months on, and he is still yelling, but the arm biting has stopped. We were on holiday for two weeks, and had a cat sitter come in twice a day to feed and love him (DD1 was also here from Fridays to Mondays). He appears to have yowled so much that he has made himself hoarse. He is on zylkene, but it seems to have had no effect. He has to touch me all the time that I am here - he sits on my lap, sleeps on top of me or sits next to me with his paws touching me. The flirtation with Zippy has now ended and he has had little interest in other toys we have offered him. Physically, he is fine, according to vet. Just doesn't seem to be very happy. DH has taken to working from home a couple of days a week just to keep him company. Any more ideas to stop the yelling?

What are you doing with regard to answering him?

Cozie - calling him, going to get him to pick him up if I am in a different room, patting the sofa or bed so that he comes up for love, cuddles and purrs. (He is currently sitting behind me on the sofa with his paws on my shoulders.) I take him into the bedroom with me when I go to bed, and pop him on his blankie at the bottom of the bed, and have more strokes and cuddles. He stays there until I am asleep and then stalks up the bed to sleep on top of me, and purrs in my ear.

He is quiet (purry) when he is in the room with me - I am wondering if he is going senile, although he is only 7.

My Siamese boys have always been attention seeking so I'm used to it. (Everything in their lives, pretty well is ME, ME, ME! ) I used to be a little disconcerted by the non-Siamese because they were so quiet, comparatively speaking.

My recommendation would be not only to answer every single Miaow (and I do mean every one) but to actually 'get ahead of the game'. Turn the tables on them so that the minute they draw breath, you get in with your comment and you start driving the conversation. If they're quiet, talk to them until they answer - or come to visit you if they're having a quiet snooze somewhere and you call. The frequency generally goes down as soon as they're reassured that they're the constant centre of your world. I'm afraid that it doesn't go away entirely if you have a needy cat.

Your side of the conversation doesn't need to be a Gettysburg address by the way. (I reckon I could compete at International level in the 'Unh Huh', 'What?' and 'Are you a Good Boy' stakes. )

PS - and lots of game playing of course. My own experience is that lots of activity - preferably hunting type activity - makes for a more contented cat. Does he have dried food at all? (If so, I'd be putting it in a puzzle game even if he's not overweight. (They actually enjoy hunting their food.)

Cannot stop giggling at 'shitten'

Cozie, he is the world's dimmest cat. He had the dried food puzzle ball, was shown how it worked (by the other cat), gave it a few taps with his paw and just sat there looking pathetic. He doesn't see the point of chasing the red dot either. We have had some limited success with the fishing rod. He cannot climb or jump properly. He had a big cat tree with several platforms, but could only make it up to the second level. He did get up to the third level once, but the Shitten, who was on the top, leaned over and pushed him off, with one swipe of her tiny paw. (I swear she was laughing.) He now has a lower level cat tree, and if he manages to get up to the second level, can't get down and sits there mewling, until someone takes pity on him and gets him down. He does quite enjoy one of those YouTube videos for cats periodically, but they tend to send him to sleep after a few minutes.

That's OK. You just make 'giving him the opportunities' a permanent feature of your lives.

Do you groom him? our cats loving his zoom groom sessions.

He likes his furminator too.

It's attention. They love attention.

We do groom him, yes, with a furminator, but he hates it, so it's a bit hit and miss. He's also been a bit knotty lately, so we have been carefully snipping out the knots with special scissors while he's dozing.

And I have been talking to him all day, which seems to have helped. He's a lovely boy, just very needy. We got him from a cat rescue, and he waved at us through the bars of his cage. It's the brightest thing he's ever done in his life. I have had to put a box next to the bed so that he can clamber up, as all of my sheets were being torn where he would jump up unsuccessfully, cling on, rip the sheet and fall off.

Talking is the most important thing for a needy cat, I've found. (Together with as clear a routine as you can manage.)

Well done.

The zoom groom is £5 on eBay, he might like it better.