Oh god, have I done the right thing

[Iwouldratherbemuckingout]

Ok, I have 6 lovely cats, 3 around 3 years old, and 3 seven months old. All so different, I love them to bits.

I have protect a pet fencing to keep them safe, as my road is not that busy but it's very fast and several cats have been killed on the road.

I have discovered that One of the littlies can shimmy up the fencing and over the top! I have found him sat by the road - he literally is over in seconds. He is the naughty one in the house - up curtains, opening the wardrobe in the middle of the night, but the biggest purrer and just a sweetheart.

I'm in discussions with the company, as clearly it isn't doing what it says on the tin, but no solution in the offing after 2 weeks and they are going demented being kept in.

My mum has offered to take the littley in question - very safe and she loves them all to bits, and she's just lost her furry companion, so I've let him go where he will be able to roam freely and is so loved. To be clear, it's only because it's my mum he's gone anywhere! And he will give my mum such joy.

But I'm heartbroken. The house seems so quiet, and the 5 others seem very quiet. I'm bloody sobbing now. He should be curled up on his blanky ready to keep me awake rampaging at 3am. I know it's the right thing, I couldn't keep him safe and they were all starting to really fight with being shut in, and it wasn't fair on any of them. But he's one of my babies. How can I have let him go? There's a bloody big hole.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking, I think I just need to share.

You haven't 'let him go' - he's just changed location.

Was your Mum planning to hand feed him some roast chicken bots tonight - or something similar? He's probably being spoiled rotten with her right now!

bits

Yes cozie that is exactly what is happening! Spoilt doesn't cover it. I'm just not dealing very well with the hole in my family. Wahhhh! Mind you, I've seen one of the biggies playing with one of the littlies this morning, a play pairing that hasn't happened before!

I'm sorry, but however much you love them, it's wrong to keep active cats shut in like this. If you have cats you just have to accept that they need to roam and lead proper cats lives.

And being so very upset that one of your cats has gone to what you know is a more suitable home with someone you love and trust and where you can still see him is a little worrying- might it be time to think about how you can find ways to manage your anxiety?

What's a proper cat life though? Am I wrong for considering cat proofing my very small garden to stop my cat roaming? Am I wrong to shut him in from around 6.30 every night and not let him out until 7.30 the following morning?

Sorry Bertrand, I disagree with your last statement. If my cat had to go and live with my Mum I would be devastated - they are part of the family. It wouldn't matter how many cats I had, if one had to go it would leave a huge hole and I would be sobbing like the OP.

Got to agree with Pink there.

It's not like muckingout's cats don't have outside access. One of mine is a roamer, not far, just the gardens backing onto mine. The other chooses not to leave the courtyard.

A space to a cat will seem much larger than it does to us humans, because they can climb stuff, therefore making their "floor-space" bigger.

And regarding your comment Bertrand, about OP's anxiety, I think that was very unkind and snipey. Imagine if you had a family member who you were forced to relocate, but could still visit. Surely that would be upsetting? When DH and I moved in together, (centre of town) he wondered if he should leave his cat where he was, in a very rural location. Cat's happy as Larry as a town cat. Happier than he was before, in fact.

Both cats have loads of toys (interactive and solo) and an interesting environment to live in - shelves to climb, and each other to play-fight/do cat stuff with.

I too would be heartbroken if I had to give one away, no matter whether I could still visit them or not.

Thank you for your support - it's really appreciated. Thank you for understanding how painful it is. I just want him back home.

And as for Bert - well, manage my anxiety issue? Really! FFS! I'm just bloody sad due to the fact that I love my cats. Simple as. Mind you, the rather ridiculous jumping to conclusions made me laugh!

Perhaps if you can get the cat proofing company to little cat proof your mum could foster and little cat could return?
I have considered cat proofing my garden. Not because of traffic but the Croydon (and other) cat attacks have freaked me the hell out!

I used to live in an area where a very large number of domestic cats had just gone missing - it was suspected for 'purposes' - so I just kept Twoago inside for that time. He didn't much care as long as he had ME. (A bonded Siamese.)

I'm really sorry Iwouldratherbemuckingout, it's really hard to have to give a pet up. When I had to relocate two kittens, it was awful. But I can assure you that you have absolutely done the right thing. It was this or find him when he'd been hit by a car or face the nightmare of him never coming home (I've been in that situation too and believe me it is much, much worse)

Such an active, confident cat could've seriously messed up the dynamics of your furry family. You say that you noticed play behaviour that hadn't occured when he was there. so it suggests that he was inhibiting the other cats. A cat like him could've made the lives your other cats very difficult, especially when he reached social maturity, and might have resulted in the break up of the whole group. Once problems start, it can be impossible to reconcile the group.

At least you'll still see him and hear how he's getting on and he's in the kind of situation that a cat with his personality would need, lots of room to roam and not having to share with 5 other cats.