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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

A wrong kitten choice or am I being a snob?

165 replies

meadowquark · 13/09/2015 15:45

Hi. Would have never considered pet, but could see how DS1 loved cats at my parents during summer holidays, and how calming and natural it was for him (he has a short fuse). So researched and decided to get a ragdoll. All good.
We went to a breeder this morning and had a choice between a colorpoint and tabby ragdoll. I set my eyes on the colourpoint, but DS1 loved the tabby. The colourpoint was and I liked that, and the tabby was a bit passive but DS1 liked it because he could cuddle it. Finally, as the cat is mainly for DS1 benefit, I let him choose. What disappointment - he chose the tabby. In my eyes it is quite bland ?? I was driving home all stressed that I am paying lots of money for the cat that I did not like in particular and gave up on the other one. I have probably done the right thing, but my heart is crying.
We will collect the tabby in 3-4 weeks. I feel bad that I feel no joy, and selfish at the same time.
Did I do the right thing?
DS1 is 7. I expect him be the cat's main friend. But eventually I am in charge. What if I resent the cat for being not the one I would have chosen?

OP posts:
Artandco · 13/09/2015 15:50

Get both, kittens/ cats really should be housed together in pairs as they are very social creatures and need companionship of own species

2legit2knit · 13/09/2015 15:51

Fucking hell. It's a cat not a handbag! It's colour has nothing to do with what kind of pet it will be.

ChristineDePisan · 13/09/2015 15:52

Are you sure that you are ready to own a pet?

IHaveBrilloHair · 13/09/2015 15:53

Get both

usual · 13/09/2015 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Palomb · 13/09/2015 15:53

take yourse somewhere quite and have a word with yourself.

Ffs

ChristineDePisan · 13/09/2015 15:53

Also, does your DS appreciate that the cat is not a toy, and sometimes will not want to be cuddled even if he really really wants to?

LemonPied · 13/09/2015 15:53

Surely it's personality is more important than it's looks? And the fact that your child loves it?

Palomb · 13/09/2015 15:54

Quiet*

ChristineDePisan · 13/09/2015 15:54

And BTW - the cat will be the one in charge. Best you accept that now...

Bogburglar99 · 13/09/2015 16:01

I do know how you feel as I was very keen on a ginger kitten from a litter whereas DH rather took to the tabbies. Because BogBastardKitten is technically my birthday present, he was the ginger one.

BUUUT ... if your DS is 7 with a short fuse, and you want the cat to help with this, I'd really recommend the more passive and laid back cat who enjoys its cuddles.
My DS is slightly older and also a volatile soul (has ASD) and so far BBK has been great for and with him, but this is hugely helped by BBK being the most ridiculously friendly, horizontally laid back beast it has ever been my pleasure to encounter. DS would have found a less passive, more nervy cat much harder to form a friendship with.

Agree with Art, if you can afford both is that an option? Or take the long view to having a second cat one day that is more your choice?

gamerchick · 13/09/2015 16:02

Your attitude sucks a bit. It's an animal, not an accessory.
Get both if you're that bothered.

Personally I don't think you're ready for an animal like that and your kid needs to know it's not a toy that can be cuddled when he feels like it.

HeyDuggee · 13/09/2015 16:05

Don't get both. Our kitten was lonely so we adopted his half sister weeks later. They adorably played together for some months. Then they grew up. They've been reluctantly tolerating each other at best for years, competing for my attention.

VulcanWoman · 13/09/2015 16:07

Why wouldn't your first choice be a rescue animal.

RachelZoe · 13/09/2015 16:08

Your child has a "short fuse" and your don't like the way your cat looks. Christ.

If you have a volatile child who will insist upon cuddling the cat as much as possible, I suggest you don't get a pet right now. You sound like a tosser and your child sounds like a brat. You also don't buy a passive cat because it will "put up with more" because it's passive.

Hurr1cane · 13/09/2015 16:09

Cats are not social creatures, they're solitary animals. Don't get both, most of them prefer their own space. Very occasionally you get some who are good friends but not often

Spilose · 13/09/2015 16:10

You are being a bratt. I hope your DS loves his kitten.....

Fairenuff · 13/09/2015 16:10

Christine Grin

Bogburglar99 · 13/09/2015 16:12

Re kids knowing the cat isnt a toy and won't always want cuddles - I would agree, we have had to put in quite a bit of work with our two, age 6 and 9, to get the message across.

I do think that work is far easier if you have a cat who is generally friendly and up for cuddles, and unlikely to lash out if hassled. Although you have missed out explaining how the colourpoint's temperament was different, tabby does sound as if he/she fits that requirement much better.

stripytees · 13/09/2015 16:13

You shouldn't have a pet at all if that's really what you think about it.

Original poster
meadowquark · 13/09/2015 16:15

*the colourpoint was curious.
Bog thanks for understanding. Probably the more laid back cat makes more sense.
And to the name callers... I will better ignore. We choose pets to our liking, in terms of breed, colour, personality. Did you all pick up just any cat?

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 13/09/2015 16:17

YABU when you went and bought a pedigree kitten when you didn't really have a particular breed in mind. Not only are you neglecting all the rescue kittens needing a home you are paying through the nose for something you don't really know about.

Where did you get it from? because it sounds like a kitten farm with more than one breed available.

Saying that I have always wanted a siamese cat so if i was in your situation i would be disappointed too and not offered the choice the first place

You have however made the best choice though as siamese cats can be aloof.

Supermanspants · 13/09/2015 16:18

I have probably done the right thing, but my heart is crying

Just. wow.
Poor kitten ending up in the same house as you.
Hmm

Epilepsyhelp · 13/09/2015 16:18

Your reaction is way over the top though, can you not see that?

Point is the pet is for your ds and he's chosen the one he likes, exactly as you think is right, so what's the issue.

ALemonyPea · 13/09/2015 16:18

Youre being a snob. It's a cat, does it really matter the colour?

And FYI cats usually sit with the person who dislikes them the most rather than those who try to hard for their affection.