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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Getting really fed up with people asking me what I am going to do with my cats!

38 replies

maybebabybee · 09/09/2015 11:41

I am 14 weeks pregnant with my first and I am sick of some people's reactions being 'oh congratulations, what are you going to do with the cats though?'

Um...nothing?! They're cats, not komodo dragons?!

I have had this for weeks now when telling people and it's really starting to irritate me. I was brought up with animals (think we had three cats and two dogs when I was born). I now have two lovely indoor birman girls.

anyone experienced similar?

OP posts:
DreamingOfThruxtons · 09/09/2015 11:56

Sort of: we had a large mixed-breed dog (think blend of two 'scary hellhound' breeds!), and were asked the same question by some people.

It certainly showed me that there really are people out there who think that animals are disposable; I felt similarly about their friendship.

I suppose you could amuse yourself by thinking up some witty responses; I'm pregnant, too, though, and suffering brain fade, so the best I can think of is 'oh, we're planning to drown them in the river and use their fur to make bootees for the baby'. Which isn't even slightly funny- sorry. Sad

LaContessaDiPlump · 09/09/2015 12:05

Tell them that you're either going to have nice rugs made out of their hides, or have them stuffed. Can they recommend a nice taxidermist?

Idiots. Our cats shot out of the house at DS1's first infant wail and cowered in the garden for a month going 'WTF is THAT?' Grin

Thefitfatty · 09/09/2015 12:13

We've got 5 cats (all rescues), and I got it all the time through both my pregnancies and I still get "don't they scratch the children?" "Aren't you afraid they're going to scratch the kids eyes" Ummm no. No I'm not. That cats are smart enough to get out of the kids way and we raise the kids not to harm the cats. Hmm

MrsPMT · 09/09/2015 12:20

I had 2 cats and a dog when DS was born, never a problem.

He's now 10 and loves all animals, also his friends have got over some fears with knowing our pets.

Original poster
maybebabybee · 09/09/2015 12:20

dreaming I suspect it would be even worse if we had a dog. We live in a flat at the moment so no dog but as soon as we move to our own house we will certainly be getting a dog too! Dread to think of the comments then...

lacontessa As an experiment I played the cats a youtube video of a newborn crying. Neither were particularly impressed - I expect they'll simply go and hide under the bed!

thefit oh gosh how annoying - didn't realise it was going to continue :S

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Sparrowlegs248 · 09/09/2015 12:20

Yes I had this. I have two cats and had 3 horses at the time of getting pregnant. One giant rescue cat, one titchy rescue kitten. The horses - 2 of them i had had for 16 years and one for 7 years. I did start responding to the 'what will you do with the horses?' question with either "same as i always do" or "get rid of them. I've only had them for 16years and cared for them on a daily basis but fuck it, they can go"

Re the cats - 'are you worried they will lay on the baby?' ere.. No.

Little cat was scared of DS for a couple of weeks. Now she licks his head if allowed (i try to discourage it.....) big cat was largely unmoved but has now starting coming to lay in the front room with us in the evening.

Sparrowlegs248 · 09/09/2015 12:22

P.s. One of the horses took himself out of the equation with an accident. I now just have the two. Who i still care for on a daily basis with almost 7wk old son.

moggle · 09/09/2015 12:27

I never had this but would've bitten someone's head off if I had! Our two cats were fine with the baby to start with but now she is crawling and standing and shrieking at them they are pretty stressed to be honest :-( they want to be near me all the time and obviously I am with DD all the time (she's 10mo). One cat has been getting cystitis repeatedly and the other is clearly unhappy although no physical manifestations.
we're doing all we can in conjunction with the vets, but at the end of the day they just won't do what's good for them and go sleep in another comfy part of the house like on our bed, they're always in the lounge where DD plays. I just can't wait til DD is a bit older and she can understand that if she is quiet, gentle and moves slowly they won't run away from her all the time. She absolutely adores them.
I'd never consider rehoming them to a rescue but part of me wonders what'd happen if our cats stay in this stressed state for the whole time we have small children, which could be a while. Is it good for them, is it fair? :'-( hopefully they'll get used to it soon.

DreamingOfThruxtons · 09/09/2015 12:28

So sorry to hear about your loss, Nottalotta. Sad

You sound pretty formidable, managing all that and a 7 week old! 'Props', as I believe the Yoof say nowadays...

Original poster
maybebabybee · 09/09/2015 12:30

to be fair my two are insanely placid and quite amenable to being mauled around (by me, I am pathetic and carry them about like babies) but I admit a shrieking toddler might freak them out a bit. We'll have to play it by ear as would never ever want to rehome them!

OP posts:
Thefitfatty · 09/09/2015 12:34

How old are your cats moggle?

TenForward82 · 09/09/2015 12:34

Can't believe people have that attitude. My MIL has mentioned putting a net over the cot Hmm but that's it so far for me.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 09/09/2015 12:55

Just be careful of the litter tray I would say.

Original poster
maybebabybee · 09/09/2015 12:56

Obviously I do not change the litter while pregnant Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
maybebabybee · 09/09/2015 12:57

However even if I did they are indoor cats so the chances of them carrying the toxoplasmosis virus is almost nil.

OP posts:
cadidog · 09/09/2015 13:10

Same here with the questions, we got a litter tray with a roof (cat igloo?) as there's nowhere for it to live apart from the kitchen but apart from that we've done nothing special. One of our two cats looks at DS like he's annoying meat on legs but she was always a sociopath and has never touched DS. The other loves him (he loves all humans) but can't understand why he gets so excited.

LaContessaDiPlump · 09/09/2015 13:25

If you had cats growing up then you've probably been exposed to toxoplasmosis and have immunity anyway op; the initial immune-boosting breastmilk (I think giving colostrum is a good idea for the immune benefits even if you don't breastfeed after that) should either have specific or general antibodies in it and so your LO will be protected anyway.

I got a cat net and the cats lay on it, so in the end we didn't bother.

This is the compromise we ended up with Grin

Getting really fed up with people asking me what I am going to do with my cats!
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 09/09/2015 13:56

Sorry I didn't mean to undermine you.

What I meant was to say that to other people when they ask what you are going to do about the cats.

BertieBotts · 09/09/2015 14:04

Moggle, move the cat if DD is bothering it rather than moving her. I kept moving DS but it just made him more excited. Moving the cat (either out of reach, or to my lap where I could keep him at arm's length and hold his arm to model gentle stroking was much more successful. And giving them lots of fuss in the evenings.

Also cats like to go up high, so how about making them some cat-accessible shelves or furniture to escape to so they can still be near you but out of reach?

Original poster
maybebabybee · 09/09/2015 14:28

no my fault piper i'm hormonal and snippy, and I misunderstood you.

OP posts:
Original poster
maybebabybee · 09/09/2015 14:29

lacontessa what a fabulous picture/idea!!!

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marmitemofo · 09/09/2015 14:35

I never had this so was really surprised when I came across posts online by people who were getting ring of their cat(s) just because they were having a baby... like whaaaaaat?! Hmm

Our cat steered clear of DD from the day we brought her home, as soon as he heard her crying he freaked and ran off. We've raised her to be gentle with the cat although do try to keep an eye on them when together but more for his sake - she sometimes pulls his tail/ear and pokes him in the face. He just sits there and takes it. She's 22 months now and loves him, the feeling isn't mutual though haha.

Tiredstressed · 09/09/2015 14:37

People said that to me - my cat and my 17 month old are now firm friends. He is a very placid boy and she finds him hilarious.

Sanchar · 09/09/2015 14:41

We had this too, we just smiled, nodded then ignored.

The cat hated the babies, the kids are 7 & 5 now and I think the cat is preparing himself to forgive us.

LaContessaDiPlump · 09/09/2015 14:53

My cats have realised that the children may occasionally be persuaded to dispense fuss and therefore have grudgingly accepted them into our home. The kids are 4 and 3 Grin