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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Sister forced brother out of house

12 replies

hideandsqueak · 28/06/2015 11:35

We had some building work done and things are starting to settle down but our female cat has decided the house is hers and chases her brother away now. He is a bit timid and now is refusing to come inside but hangs out in the garden with what DH describes as a sad face. He is desperate for fuss whenever we are outside and is still eating in the garage just not coming into the house. They are 3 year old rescues brother and sister. Is there hope? I feel really sad for him being pushed out. My sister has offered to have the girl cat as she loves her and is catless. Is separation the only way forward or do you think their relationship might resolve itself?

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 28/06/2015 11:42

My own experience is that once a cat seriously 'takes against' another cat, the issue rarely resolves amicably - so I would have to express quite negative views on that possibility. Would girlcat have a good home with your sister?

Fluffycloudland77 · 28/06/2015 11:43

I'd re-home girl cat if your sister will be a good owner. Poor boy cat out in the drizzle.

cozietoesie · 28/06/2015 11:44

PS - sorry, I should have asked. How long has this been going on for?

fackinell · 28/06/2015 11:55

This happened with my two cats and I don't want to be alarmist and the last thing I want is to upset you but it turned out the boy cat on the receiving end of the behaviour had just been infected with FIV.

I know this because he never usually went out but there was a ferocious looking cat scarred from fights hanging around and my boy would go out when he was there, fight him and spray everywhere around the garden.

He did exactly as you described, sad face and all. He did stay inside though but she would hide away under the kitchen units and hiss.

It could be nothing but I'd get him tested. There can be a fantastic prognosis for FIVs nowadays, they can live as long as non FIVs but must be kept in. Our two even shared the same bowls, (although I tried to prevent this) girl cat never got it and lived to almost 14. Male was 9 even with the virus.

Original poster

hideandsqueak · 28/06/2015 12:38

It's been going on for about a month

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 28/06/2015 13:38

That would be too long for my liking - they can get settled into patterns of behaviour which (for cats) it would almost take a hurricane to shift. You might just manage to get them to accommodate each other but if you already have a good home for girlcat - and one where you can still have reports of how she's doing etc - then I think my temptation would be to split them up before boycat becomes really miserable and possibly unwell.

If so, you'd likely be taking girlcat for a full MOT before handing her across so you might as well take boycat for the same. I'm a little more sanguine about his health but the fact is that he's still been living semi-rough for a month.

(If you do rehome her, watch out for boycat's behaviour when he comes back inside. I'd actually bring him back in after cleaning the place and keep him in for at least a few days but it may take him a short while to start believing that she's not going to jump out on him at some point.)

code · 28/06/2015 16:24

I would give her to your sister. Poor boy cat. It's probably stressing them both out.

Original poster

hideandsqueak · 28/06/2015 17:24

Thank you for taking the time to reply and confirming what I know deep down is the best solution. Am just lucky that my lovely sister is willing to give her a home as I don't think I could give her up for adoption if you know what I mean... They used to sleep together cuddled up in a beautiful tabby golden pile...it's so sad. ( Am pregnant and very emotional)

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 28/06/2015 17:25

She would still be part of the family though. Lucky that your Sis has a vacancy.

Original poster

hideandsqueak · 06/08/2015 21:12

Wanted to update this. My sister decided that she couldn't give the girl cat the home she deserved. Then a neighbour came round to say the boy has been living with them and had forced their own cat out! They locked their cat flap as it was a free for all flap. Mine works on microchip.

So in desperation....

I bought some dreamies and whiskers pouches and by the end of the week both brother and sister cats were eating side by side and sleeping in the landing together like they used to.

Expensive but worth it

OP posts:

QforCucumber · 06/08/2015 21:15

So glad to hear they're friends again!

The adverts are right cats really will do anything for dreamies.

cozietoesie · 07/08/2015 11:17

Good news.

(I'm afraid that Seniorboy won't touch Dreamies, Q. I had thought it might be his (vastly reduced number of) teeth but he enjoys his Vet's Kitchen treats which are just as hard I think.)

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