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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Scary moments with your cats...

138 replies

RubbishMantra · 15/02/2015 13:56

As a balance to Chockbic's "nice moments with your cats".

Lounging in bed this morning, DH still asleep. Sinister MCat just staring like he wanted to kill us. He did that for half an hour. Constant staring.

Creepy cat. (I do luffs the sinister bastard though)

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RubbishMantra · 23/02/2015 10:02

Thanks Chock. Smile

He's sinister in the house, but being his mum, I imagine him to be utterly defenceless Out The Front.

Breakfast was sausage and egg McMuffin. Guilty pleasure.

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chockbic · 23/02/2015 15:38

I know what you mean, our poor babies.

RubbishMantra · 23/02/2015 15:53

Now it's gone from scary moments to dickish moments.

MKitten has taken to strolling about like Charlie Big Potatoes. Then makes sure I'm watching, sticks his paw out to nudge something over. He's trying to bully MCat as well. (Who just ignores)

Teenage dickhead.

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chockbic · 24/02/2015 11:49

I'm just a teenage dickhead, baby Grin

Last night Claws was lying on the work surface. I leant toward him and a tiny bit of static electricity went from my nose to his. He was most affronted. A swipe of the claw followed, just nipping the end of my nose.

Teenage dickhead.

RubbishMantra · 24/02/2015 12:22
Grin

Has Claws developed a sort of swaggery walk. That would suggest low slung trousers worn half way down the bum?

I spend some of my time wondering why I got a kitten.

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chockbic · 24/02/2015 13:12

He would hang around the shops, with his knobby mates. Puffing his menthols and swigging cheap lager. Believing he's really sophisticated. Or sophis, as he'd probably say.

RubbishMantra · 24/02/2015 13:28

Him and MKitten would get on well.

Except he's still not mustered up the bravery to leave the garden. which makes me happy

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chockbic · 25/02/2015 12:33

Jack is the same, to be honest.

Very much a home boy. Or homeboy.

Maybe it will change once it gets warmer?

InanimateCarbonRod · 25/02/2015 12:38

What I like to call "The Bear Trap"

You know when they flop down on the couch and present their belly and they're purring. You reach down for a tummy tickle and next of all your hand is clamped between front slashy claws, back digging claws and teeth.

YEOWCH.

chockbic · 25/02/2015 13:57

Oh yes, we've all had the misfortune to fall into the furry bear trap.

The little swines.

RubbishMantra · 26/02/2015 02:23

Like this

Furry little fuckers beasties.

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InanimateCarbonRod · 26/02/2015 10:09

Exactly like that. 99% percent of the time it's happy tummy tickle time the rest is a painful reminder that they know what they want and just like to make you suffer!

chockbic · 26/02/2015 14:26

What is even worse are the claws of doom around the ankle.

Get out of the shower, and are "helpfully" clamped. Followed by a licking, to dry you off.

I'm good thanks Grin

RubbishMantra · 26/02/2015 19:49

Oh yes, the "helpful" claws of doom! Grin

When I met DH, he always had slashes on the back of his legs from MCat.

He's calmed down since they're no longer bachelors. Less slashing.

Oh but the licking Sad Sometimes I wake up to MKitten licking my back. And he tries to lick DH's armpits! He's dedicated to keeping us clean at least.

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RubbishMantra · 26/02/2015 20:10

Now it's "Disturbing moments with your cats."

MKitten has decided to drag his shag bag in, rag it, then demand a post coital bliss cuddle from me.

All the time purring loudly, like a phone pervert heavy breather.

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chockbic · 27/02/2015 15:14

Poor you, being sullied by a depraved kitty Sad

RubbishMantra · 27/02/2015 17:13

It's disturbing Chock.

Why does he have to do it in front of me? Surely he'd want some privacy? He grips it in his mouth, then drags it to wherever I am. Confused

Disturbing teenage dickhead.

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shaska · 28/02/2015 12:45

Scary one!

I live in a block of flats in concrete-town. There's an exterior walkway though and while the madcat never goes out of sight and howls if the front door closes, the lamb likes to take a stroll (read, mad dash) around the whole building. I always figured since there isn't a way outside that she was fine, and she loves it.

Until last night when after her normal ten minute gallivant, she failed to return as normal at the shout and rattle of dreamies. A thorough survey of the building produced no cat and the discovery of a wedged open downstairs door.

She was discovered ACROSS THE ROAD sauntering around a carpark, and thought my appearance meant I was joining her in her lovely midnight game.

She's already been hit by a car once, before we got her, leaving her with mild balance problems (walks like she's on her fourth pint), isn't frightened of ANYTHING, and god knows, given her previous head injury, whether she has any idea where she lives or how to get back here. Plus if she does get lost she can't let me know where she is as she can't do loud miaows, her miaow is a sort of supersonic bat noise, a bit like tiny kittens make. Which was brilliant last night as of course I'm outside frantically rattling dreamies and listening for bat noises, and all I can hear is the ruddy madcat two floors up, wailing her heart out as the humans have suddenly gone out and left the door open and she doesn't know what to do about it.

I've got to move house so the lamb can have a garden, don't I? She's having a right grump now as she's not been allowed out for her morning constitutional.

BLASTED CATS

chockbic · 01/03/2015 13:43

Jack went missing for over three hours this morning.

Looked for him again and he's nonchalantly shielding from the rain, under the car.

I had visions of him flattened by a tractor Shock

RubbiishMantra · 01/03/2015 15:20

BLASTED CATS INDEED!

He was probably mustering up the courage for a trip to the local Spar for some Menthols. But too embarrassed to go because the jeans you bought him for xmas didn't show enough of his pants.

Shaska, have you ever thought about putting a Locat8ter on the Lamb? It helped alleviate some of my fears about MKitten going outside. He's not brain damaged, but he's like a child who'll go off with anyone. MCat wears one too, because he kept burgling people's houses and getting shut in their cellars. I put them on safety release collars, (not the elastic ones).

shaska · 01/03/2015 17:28

Rubbish it's not a bad idea! I didn't think she needed one because of being indoors, but if she's going to take to escapology it might be handy. Then again, no help if it's just for finding her squished flat under a lorry, so I suspect keeping her in is probably the way to go...

MagelanicClouds · 02/03/2015 16:25

Mine likes sitting on the window ledge making weird "mip mip mip" noises at the birds as if she's posessed or something.
The infamous chilli butger incident is worth a mention....
OH bought minging chilli burgers. Mine was greasy and gross so I put plate down and walked off, forgot about cat.
Cat thought "Hmm smell nice.... eugh eugh eugh!" and went running off. We thought this was amusing but the daft thing came back only a minute later for another try and then went running off shaking her head. She came back two more times to have a go at eating it, I was laughing too hard to pick the plate up by that point! Serves her right for crapping in my bath....

RubbishMantra · 02/03/2015 16:48
Grin

Mine does the weird teeth chattering mip noises at flies. Steals any food available.

Your cat's not a Devon Rex by any chance?

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chockbic · 02/03/2015 17:22

The old girl was a chatterer. Eyes fixed, mouth loose, ready for "the prize".

RubbishMantra · 02/03/2015 18:46

Apparently the teeth chattering is them imagining administering the death bite to the back of the neck.

Thank christ they're not the size of Rottweilers...

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