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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

How to handle this cat situation...I have no idea what to do!

59 replies

Aprilissa · 14/10/2014 11:04

I have two cats,both female,both taken in as strays, and they rub along nicely together for the most part indoors.They go out during the day if they wish and are back in before dark.However,a black and white male cat started hanging round a few weeks ago miaowing plaintively.I fed him (cos I'd never leave a cat/dog hungry) and the routine became that he took himself off then and would return again in the evening for food and sometimes might not come back for days etc but would just show up and have a bite and go again.
He has however now decided to camp out at the back door miaowing every time he sees me and following me around if I go in the garden.
He spent last night in the shed....I have a bundle of blankets in there and he slept in them.
Trouble is my two girls are scared of him...he tries to chase them away when he sees them and now they wont go outside as they are too frightened.
I have a dog who often pops into the garden and chases this cat away but it doesn't put him off...he rolls up again as soon as the dog goes indoors.
I don't mind feeding him or letting him sleep in the shed but I don't want my girls under house arrest eitherHmm.
What to do?Anyone any experience of this?

OP posts:
PestoSurfissimos · 14/10/2014 11:07

If it were me I'd check at the vets to see whether he was microchipped & then you could find out where he lives.

If he doesn't appear to be owned you could take him to the local cat rescue.

PestoSurfissimos · 14/10/2014 11:08

Just to add, I wouldn't feed him as that will encourage him to hang around yours rather than go home for his food.

Original poster
Aprilissa · 14/10/2014 11:20

Thanks pesto....I can't bear to not feed him though-it's so cold at the moment here Sad..Yes I can check if he is chipped but around here it is very rural and it would be rare to find a cat chipped tbh.
Yes,maybe I will do that actually...if I can get him in a cat carrier.

OP posts:
PestoSurfissimos · 14/10/2014 11:27

Good luck with that!

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/10/2014 15:30

I'd feed a hungry animal too. Is he neutered?.

Hassled · 14/10/2014 15:33

I know it sounds harsh and mean but I think you are going to have to stop feeding him. If you're rural there will be plenty for him to hunt - he won't starve. You need to remove the motivation to hang around your house.

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/10/2014 15:37

What if he's an ex pet someone has dumped & isn't very good at hunting?.

One of ours didnt have a clue about hunting. Even our ex feral lost a lot of weight the week we had to leave her at the holiday home (long story) and she was a fast hunter.

There must be less mice in winter.

thecatneuterer · 14/10/2014 16:44

Of course you should feed him. For every six dinner Sid that tries his luck round the neighbours, there must be 50 stray or feral cats that really need food.

Feed him, get him checked for a microchip and perhaps get a paper collar (of the internet or from a vet) and write a note on it. If no one replies then at least feed him and make sure he's neutered. Better still get him some shelter in your garden. Better still (although difficult) see if there is space in a (non-destruction) rescue.

But do feed him.

Hassled · 14/10/2014 16:53

I bow to your greater knowledge - I know you know your stuff - but I have to say I'm really surprised. I've clearly taken tough love too far. Would a stray/feral cat really not hunt - or is it that they just wouldn't hunt enough nutrition-wise?

Original poster
Aprilissa · 14/10/2014 16:57

Yes I will carry on feeding the poor lad...doesn't seem to be neutered fluffy from what I can see at his rear endWink.He has shelter in our garage which I have been leaving open a little for him to go in and there is a nice pile of old clothes/fluffy pyjamas etc there for him to sleep in...it's still very cold but it's better than having nothing.I honestly don't mind him but it's my own cats being scared of him that seems wrongHmm.Maybe they will just get used to him hanging around and the fear will go.The paper collar is a great idea thecatneuterer.
I will let you all know how it goes-thanks for the adviceSmile

OP posts:
Subhuman · 14/10/2014 16:58

If it's a rural area and the cat is out and about often, it probably has some experience of hunting. Maybe put some food out for it but not in an area that you would rather keep for your own cats, so maybe just outside the gate rather than in your garden. Might reduce the tendencies for the intruder to use you as a second owner (assuming there is already an owner).

Original poster
Aprilissa · 14/10/2014 17:01

Hassled you are not alone in that advice..everyone in RL says the same.I just can't do it as I am too soft by far.But yes,I too would bow down before the CatneutererGrin.
I will get back with an update.He seems to have disappeared about two hours ago actually..wonder if he will come back again today.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 14/10/2014 17:07

It's more that they don't know how to hunt, wild cats/feral farm cats are taught to hunt by mum. They know how to kill a mouse quickly so it doesn't get away.

Domestic cats probably didnt see a mouse until they started going out so they think more along the lines of "wow this toy squeaks and everything, best toy ever. Oh it's stopped moving".

They have the same ability to see mouse urine as birds of prey do. But you have to know how to use it. Our housecat would have starved or been eaten by a fox before she learnt to hunt.

I watched the two tuxedo cats over the road chasing a mouse one night in the summer, it was in more danger of exhaustion from being chased because they just patted at it and ran after it.

Fluffycloudland77 · 14/10/2014 17:12

Not neutered? Most likely not chipped.

You have 3 cats. He'll calm down after you've neutered him.

It's the testosterone making him feisty. I wanted dh done but he wasn't keen.

thecatneuterer · 14/10/2014 17:18

To be fair, I don't know a lot about cats in rural areas. I know cats in urban areas starve to death all the time. I also know that lots of cats haven't got the first idea about hunting. And as a cat starts to get old and to lose teeth, then even once good hunters will be at risk of starving. And of course there is wholescale killing of mice and rats by everyone, so there must be less around for a cat to find. I certainly would't want to risk him going hungry.

And what is the downside to feeding him? If he's unneutered he almost certainly doesn't belong to anyone. And if he does you can find out. Yes it will mean him coming round a lot, but he's doing that because he's cold and hungry. So yes, feeding him does sort of make him 'your problem', but it also means you will be in a position to help him.

timtam23 · 14/10/2014 21:59

He sounds lovely. I am a softy & would also feed him. If he's not neutered he may well be stray, poor thing. Sounds like you may have got yourself another cat - can you get him to the vet for a chip check? Neutering will definitely calm him down, and whenever I've had multi-cat households the females have always ruled the roost & kept the boycats under the paw Smile

fenneltea · 15/10/2014 08:24

This is how I ended up with six cats! I live rurally but we are close enough to a town for people to drive out and dump their pets, as well as ferals turning up. All of them were starving and in poor condition, one pregnant queen was eating bird seed to survive, so I would never advocate not feeding one that turned up.
Mine did have disagreements initially, but once integrated into the household they all get along famously now, I just kept the newcomer in their own room and slowly let them meet each other, I had two that would fight to the death when outside, but now they sleep on the same bed. Neutering calms things down too. Good luck with him, he sounds like he needs a loving home.

Primaryteach87 · 15/10/2014 08:32

My cat is a bit cheeky and very friendly, so will always 'try his luck' despite being well fed at home. Tbh I would be quite annoyed if someone fed him, you shouldn't assume he is a stray. Your first port of call is to try too care the owner and stop feeding him. He's obviously going to keep coming back if you reinforce that behaviour, it's just daft.

Primaryteach87 · 15/10/2014 08:33

*to contact

code · 15/10/2014 09:10

primaryteach87 if he's not neutered (as op says) or chipped I suspect he is a stray as not many would cope with an entire male living indoors spraying. Op says she will check if he's chipped. If an owner doesn't care enough to microchip or neuter a roaming male then they don't deserve to keep him anyway imo.

fenneltea · 15/10/2014 10:37

I agree with code, it has been pretty obvious in the cats that turned up at mine that they were uncared for. I also think that there is nothing wrong with feeding a cat until the owner is located, if one of mine were lost I'd hope somebody would be kind enough to feed them instead of letting them suffer.

Stealing someone's much loved family pet is a different kettle of fish, but it sounds highly unlikely in this instance.

Original poster
Aprilissa · 15/10/2014 20:53

Ok hi again.I managed to get him in a carrier today and took him to the vets and he is def not chipped or neutered.Vet thinks he is around 4 yrs and appears to be ok healthwise.
So back we came and I was wondering what will I do,bring him in or what?

I came indoors with the back door left open into the utility room.My smallest female cat was there peering nervously at him and he darted inside and attacked herShock.My poor little soul was screaming and trying to get away from him when the second female cat came running in and went for the attacker and she managed to see him off...It was fascinating to watch actually,the way one cat seemed to come to the aid of anotherSmile.
My poor little girl was terrified and hid on top of a wardrobe for ages.

He appeared back again at teatime and I gave him food but I have made the decision to not bring him in ...I will feed him and provide him with shelter in the shed and hope to bloody God he eventually buggers off.
He is now sitting outside the kitchen window on the windowledge staring in at us and the 2 cats here are nervously peering back at him.
It really is house-arrest isn't itGrin.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 15/10/2014 21:07

Could you neuter him? It would make him less aggressive.

Cats protection might be able to help with the cost.

timtam23 · 15/10/2014 21:29

Well done for getting him to the vet

Sorry he fought with your other cats but if there is any way at all that you could manage to get him neutered, you'd be doing him a huge favour, even if you couldn't take him in he'd be more likely to find a home elsewhere. I am very softhearted about cats but would not take in an entire tom - couldn't cope with the spraying.

girliefriend · 15/10/2014 22:23

Can you put a paper collar on him? Write on it 'do I belong to you if so ring *'

I had a cat turn up who kept helping himself to food, i did this ^ as wanted to be sure he wasn't a stray. Anyway a lady rang up who said it was her cat but he was a farm cat and didn't respect boundaries very well Grin

If no luck I would contact the cats protection league for advice, he needs neutering if nothing else.

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