How to handle this cat situation...I have no idea what to do!

[Aprilissa]

I have two cats,both female,both taken in as strays, and they rub along nicely together for the most part indoors.They go out during the day if they wish and are back in before dark.However,a black and white male cat started hanging round a few weeks ago miaowing plaintively.I fed him (cos I'd never leave a cat/dog hungry) and the routine became that he took himself off then and would return again in the evening for food and sometimes might not come back for days etc but would just show up and have a bite and go again.
He has however now decided to camp out at the back door miaowing every time he sees me and following me around if I go in the garden.
He spent last night in the shed....I have a bundle of blankets in there and he slept in them.
Trouble is my two girls are scared of him...he tries to chase them away when he sees them and now they wont go outside as they are too frightened.
I have a dog who often pops into the garden and chases this cat away but it doesn't put him off...he rolls up again as soon as the dog goes indoors.
I don't mind feeding him or letting him sleep in the shed but I don't want my girls under house arrest either.
What to do?Anyone any experience of this?

here is a link to a downloadable paper collar, if you need one

Are you absolutely sure that he doesn't belong to someone? How can you be sure?

Please stop feeding him. It is very easy to think you're helping when you feed a cat not your own, but you could, be doing a darn sight more harm than good. Have you taken him to the vet to find out if he has any allergies or a condition which requires a special diet? How do you think that his owner feels about someone else feeding their car, assuming their is an owner?

Have you asked around about whether he belongs to a neighbour? Have you put photos up asking whether anyone knows him or his owner?

Stop feeding him. Please.

Oh for heavens sake. He's not neutered and he's not chipped. Of course he doesn't have an owner. So many cats end up dying of starvation because people worry they might be feeding someone's cat.

And if one of your cats got lost, wouldn't you want someone to prevent it suffering hunger and starvation by feeding it? Or would you rather they ignored it as it might have an owner? I know which I would prefer.

And if someone hasn't neutered or chipped their cat, the idea that they might have it on a special diet is laughable.

And can I link again to my earlier thread about what can happen when people think like Jux: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_litter_tray/a2138803-If-in-doubt-feed

The are plenty of cats round here which are not neutered and not chipped but which have owners. They may not be the sort of owners you approve of, thecatneuterer (or I indeed) but they are owners. My cats aren't chipped because we can't afford it.

Take the cat to the vet and try to find out more about it.

It costs £10 to be chipped, it isn't expensive really (I am on a low income, single parent etc) my cats are chipped and neutered.

I would rather feed until I know for certain the cat is being fed somewhere else.

At our vet chipping costs 40 quid. Driving to another vet with 3 cats in the car would involve buying 2 more cat baskets and quite a lot of petrol as the next nearest vet is over 20 miles away. We could save on the baskets and take them one at a time but then petrol costs get silly. That's assuming that the next nearest vet will do it for less, of course, but they are just as likely to charge top dollar as the vet we already use.

£40 blimey whereabouts in the country are you?

My vets is a companion care one (in Pets at Home) they are very reasonable.

I would still say it is worth getting your cats chipped. If you read any of the threads about cats getting picked up by some mad cat lady who won't give them back, if they are not chipped you have no real proof of ownership.

The reason your cats don't want to go outside is purely because you've been feeding this stray.

Please go and watch a programme called cat watch it's on 4OD or BBC iplayer (can't remember) but it explains very well about cats and territories.

As much as I believe in rescuing cats and strays I would not feed one. Rather catch it and take it to a vet (as long as you are sure it's a stray) to be taken to a rescue centre. By feeding the cat you are making your own cats feel uncomfortable and narrowing their territory.

Please get him neutered.

£10 for chipping here too.

Yes I think I may consider getting him neutered actually.I have indeed watched the cat programme siarie.....there is no debate to be had with me Im afraid regarding feeding-he will be fed regardless!
So,I guess I will see what happens but will actually consider getting him neutered.I have no experience of male cats and am at timtam and someone else mentioning 'all the spraying'...is this something tom cats do then? realises I have no clue about toms
Incidentally thanks to all for the replies

Yes all Toms spray, worse in un neutered ones I think.

Toms are generally cheaper to neuter though, about £40 round here and don't need much recovery time either.

I have 2 neutered toms, and they don't spray at all. They were neutered as kittens though, so hadn't got into the spraying habit.

Neutered toms generally don't spray. Sometimes, if they were done late in life, they might have got into the habit, but it generally tails off and, even if they do spray, it won't have that appalling tom cat smell.

The main problem with unneutered toms, for them, is that they are prone to fight injuries and getting lost. They can smell a female in heat from many miles away and go in pursuit, risking crossing busy roads in the process. They often then can't find their way back. This is why the majority of strays are unneutered males. Their owners didn't do them soon enough and they got lost.

Also unneutered toms fight and end up with awful injuries and abscesses.

I'm so glad you are still feeding him and thinking of getting him neutered. He could possibly become a really lovely pet - but as an entire tom his future would be much more uncertain as catneuterer has said. Neutering male cats is not usually that costly (compared to spaying females) and you may be able to get assistance from Cats Protection League or similar

My male cats were neutered & have never sprayed or been overly smelly.

The current male cat (who I took in as a stray kitten) was VERY feisty and was neutered at slightly less than 5 months old as the testosterone was quite clearly coursing through his veins! He still likes to prowl around outside but is so much calmer. We no longer have my other old boycat but the younger one was much less bouncy after his op and would curl up with the old one. It took a few weeks postop for the calmness to kick in but both boycats have been absolutely lovely soppy affectionate cats, my old girlcat was also much adored but was much more aloof and moody.

Just to say, I had two female cats (mother and daughter), both spayed, and they bloody sprayed in the house when we moved, and a feral kitten (female, who we also had spayed) moved in!

Thanks all.I will def get him neutered and then we will see now resigned to having 3 cats in future .I remember your kitten timtam.I found my kitten around the same time as yours I recall.Our little lady is now one yr 4 mths ish .Didn't you find him under your car bonnet...mine was found on the roadside!

I will keep you all posted and thanks again

Oh yes Aprilissa I do remember you posting on the thread I started about the kitten! Yes my cat is the one from under the car bonnet. How lovely that your kitten has grown up & settled in so well. I'm really so pleased that you'll be helping the black & white chap, hopefully he will be a happy addition to your cat family. I would love another cat (had 2 unrelated ones for 17 years, so my young one on his own seems a bit strange) but DH won't entertain the idea at all!

Aw bless...yes I was under a different name I think back then.Oh gawd,he has started pooing in the shed now...most odd I would have thought...he is free to come and go as he pleases from the shed..I worry a bit about the kitten actually,she is so scared of going out with him hovering around on the windowsill . She ventures out when the coast is clear but I read somewhere that cats will often simply move on if they are really scared and will find another home...this really bothers me now. Drat.Golly you try and do the right thing and it just complicates life for you

She is probably scared because he is an unneutered tom full of testosterone. It may all settle down once he has his bits removed. Good luck with it all & keep us posted

I think I would try to find him a rescue place since his presence is distressing your female cats so much.

Unfortunately rescues are so full, places are nearly as rare as hens' teeth.

The situation will sort itself out. Once he's neutered it should make a big difference and they will all get used to each other.