How to handle this cat situation...I have no idea what to do!

[Aprilissa]

I have two cats,both female,both taken in as strays, and they rub along nicely together for the most part indoors.They go out during the day if they wish and are back in before dark.However,a black and white male cat started hanging round a few weeks ago miaowing plaintively.I fed him (cos I'd never leave a cat/dog hungry) and the routine became that he took himself off then and would return again in the evening for food and sometimes might not come back for days etc but would just show up and have a bite and go again.
He has however now decided to camp out at the back door miaowing every time he sees me and following me around if I go in the garden.
He spent last night in the shed....I have a bundle of blankets in there and he slept in them.
Trouble is my two girls are scared of him...he tries to chase them away when he sees them and now they wont go outside as they are too frightened.
I have a dog who often pops into the garden and chases this cat away but it doesn't put him off...he rolls up again as soon as the dog goes indoors.
I don't mind feeding him or letting him sleep in the shed but I don't want my girls under house arrest either.
What to do?Anyone any experience of this?

Do you really think so catneuterer ?I wondered about your opinion on this today actually as I know you have said you have oodles of different waifs n strays in your home so you must find the boys n girlies get on ok together.
You are right about the rescue places...I think my local one would take him but they have tons of cats already.

Ok am looking at him sitting on the kitchen windowsill in the rain miaowing at me every time I make eye contact with him..he has been fed several times today .He seems so lovely and affectionate,follows me everywhere when I am outside.....MMM am just wondering like,IF,BIG IF, I were to consider bringing him in what would be the best way to do this seeing as my two girls are so afraid of him.
I would first of all get him neutered,so would bring him back from the vets and into a spare room upstairs.Would it be advisable to keep all cats inside and let them get used to smells etc?My biggest concern would be letting my little girl cat out(she is really scared of him) and she may not come back if she thinks he is indoors.
So would I do the usual advice regarding bringing a new cat in to a home with other cats and simply keep them all inside for a while?

OP. As he would need to be kept inside for a few days after neutering I think your plan is a good one. When introducing a new cat to my household I usually start them off in a spare room. Or, if they seem to be particularly nervous/difficult, I put them in a dog crate in the kitchen, with an igloo bed inside they can hide in. That way they can meet all the other cats, and the other cats can meet them, but as they can't physically get to each other it's less threatening for them all.

Recommended advice when keeping in a spare room is to move bedding around between the newcomer and the established ones so they can get used to each others' smells.

Whether it would be a good idea to keep your girls inside while this is happening - I'm not sure - possibly yes.

And on the general question of how easy it is to introduce new cats - well it really all depends. I find it very, very easy indeed, but that's probably because I've got so very many cats that none of them really feel they 'own' their territory anyway. Also new cats arrive so frequently they're all sort of used to it.

But even people with more normal set ups like yours seem to be able to manage it eventually. It just takes time, patience and sometimes nerves of steel:)

Thanks catneuterer.I had him neutered yesterday and it didn't seem to phase him one bit.I tried him upstairs on Tuesday night but he was terrified,climbing curtains to try and get out the window and wet himself too so I decided to keep him downstairs in the utility room which leads right to the outdoors ,so not as terrifying for him.He is clearly not a cat that has ever been inside.
He seems ok in the utility room actually.Made a lovely warm bed for him on a corner of the worktop but no he insists on sleeping on the windowsill...so I lumped loads of blankets etc on and around the sill last night and he snuggled down.It is not as warm as the inside of the house but it still much warmer than ouside.
I was amazed also to find he didn't seem to want to use the litter tray and kept going on the floor....but he seems to be getting the hang of it now.I got him his own new one so no cat scents on it either.
It is getting a bit awkward now though.What I am doing at the moment ,rightly or wrongly,is letting them all out doors for a while but separately.So I left new guy out after breakfast as he was dying to get out and brought him in after about 2 hours.Then the other 2 girls went out and came back in after an hour or so.They can hear him through the kitchen/utility room door but are being allowed use a lower down kitchen window as a catflap to get in and out so no need for them to go through utility room to go out...which would be the normal way.
I am also letting them smell his blankets and my hands etc after stroking him.Is it best to carry on for a while like this then?
I am really hoping I can integrate him properly as he is so much more affectionate than the girls,a real lapcat sort of guy...he really is sweet.he is the spitting image of the Felix Cat,black and white,vet thinks around 3 or 4 yrs.My other two cats are tabbys and fairly conservative with their affections so the constant rubbing my face and standing putting his paws around my neck is so lovely

He sounds lovely Aprilissa. Am so glad you got him neutered. I'm no expert on introducing new cats slowly & carefully (due to the layout of my house I've always had to launch straight into having them all in the same room!) but what you are doing sounds just fine & very thoughtful for your 2 tabby girls.

My cat was rescued at a much younger age but he adores sleeping on the windowsill as well, he loves being able to see out of the window & check his territory out

Do you have a photo of him?

Not yet timtam ....my old phone is not techy enough to do quick photos on it.Thanks for the encouragement.Even if no one replies I find it very helpful to write it all down sort of....reinforces to myself that I am doing the right thing .

Of course you're doing the right thing. Living rough can't have been fun for him.

fluffy

He obviously wanted and needed some love and companionship.

You have so done the right thing by adopting him - who knows what would have happened to him if it hadn't been for you.

He will calm down towards your girl-cats now he's been neutered. They'll probably be bossing him about (in a loving, caring way of course ) soon.