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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

Cat interrupting us...

81 replies

BigPawsBrown · 18/04/2014 17:18

Our rescue cat Benjamin is very lovely but very friendly and forceful and large. He was 4 when we got him and is 6 now and I think whatever problems he had when rescued will be with him for life as he has issues surrounding food and love, is very needy and freaks out when we go upstairs at night even though he eventually follows.

Our house is open pan and so there is no door between the downstairs and upstairs. The only rooms downstairs with doors are the kitchen (TINY, not even big enough for his litter tray), downstairs toilet (tiny) and living room. We don't really want to keep his litter in the living room, and as such he has never been shut in a room downstairs overnight.

For the first few weeks of having him we didn't let him sleep in the bedroom with us. He ripped up the carpet, scratched at the door all night and took run ups to try and knock down the door. We therefore relented and he's slept with us ever since.

However, DP and I would like to having some 'us' time in the bedroom with the bloody cat! We naturally have sex before we go to sleep and so Benjamin is in by then (no cat flap, he comes in for his dinner at about 11pm or whenever the fuck he likes and if we have sex and shut him out of the room we are treated to wailing and door barging, if he's in the room with us he tries to sit on us. [embarrassed]

It's actually a real problem that is upsetting us. Is there anything we can do?!

PS. I know he's massively obese. We're working on it...

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 24/04/2014 14:28

I've never had a Bengal (if we're thinking he's got Bengal in him) but I've had Siamese since I was a child - and they're purposeful and strong-willed cats although not as big and powerful as a Bengal. If I'd been a lily livered type who gave in all the time, I think life would have been miserable for all concerned (cats included) but I've always regarded cozietowers as a place where everyone has to fit in with a few rules, cat and people both. As a result, things work and the cats have been pretty happy throughout the years.

What that boils down to is - I suspect that the situation has got off on a bad foot with you all and has then gone downhill so that Benjamin is, effectively, running the household. That in itself could be a source of stress to him - which isn't good for cats with hyperesthesia if I recall. In my experience, cats like to sink back into a blissfully standard routine. They don't seem to mind sameness at all.

A problem is, though, not just breaking the current (non) pattern but in maintaining consistency thereafter. Do you think you'd be up for that? More importantly, do you think your DP would genuinely be up for it also? (Eg if he's receiving all that gratifying adoration, would he be able to maintain to a long term goal of giving Benjamin a firm and calm structure? It's difficult when you have The Paw resting on your arm underneath a pleading little face and there's a temptation to think 'Oh just once won't hurt him'.)

I'd welcome any thoughts from Bengal owners on this - just in case he is part Bengal.

mrsnec · 24/04/2014 15:04

Hi,

I've never had it confirmed that our stripey pal is part Bengal but she does have tenancies and she can be quite demanding in terms of attention. Which sometimes it's fine and sometimes it isn't.

In moments similar to those you're talking about she has been known to leap onto the bed and position herself between us and stretch out as much as she possibly can and then fall asleep! We've unfortunately found food to be the only distraction. But shes fed earlier than yours. She eats her tea at about 5.

So if we want her off the bed later we can tempt her with treats. She eats in the kitchen which is next to our bedroom, if we put temptations down in there she'll eat them quick and come back in, I have been known to put some in a bowl and set it on the ottoman at the end of the bed and she eats slower (while she's watching)then but still doesn't solve the problem. If we shut her out wed have the same issue as you. However, if we give her those liver treat sticks she gets a second wind and wants to go out again.which then gives us peace We live in a bungalow with the catflap in the bedroom it's not ideal. But that can sometimes buy us an hour!

We only have this problem part of the year as in winter she prefers to be in front of the fire in the lounge anyway.

Try feeding him earlier and giving him a snack/ later and see if he'll go out again.

Terrortree · 24/04/2014 18:17

I would bet any money your cat has no Bengal in him I'm afraid - I can't see anything Bengal distinguishing.

What you have is an utterly beautiful and very neurotic but gorgeous boy cat with ishoos.

I have a permanent cat attached to me - and also wails if she can't see me.

What I found helped in the bedroom department is to create a warm space high up so that she could look down her nose at us. Perhaps a heated blanket above a wardrobe or tall cat tree (this worked for us) so that they could watch proceedings but be kept away.

You could distract him by putting a few treats hidden in a cardboard box with holes cut in it? This might be noisy though.

A cat manically jumping around the duvet does tend to put you off agreed.

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 24/04/2014 22:24

Yes we would - what do you suggest? His biggest faults are crying for food/when we're out of sight and picking the seal off the patio doors...

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 24/04/2014 22:28

How structured is his feeding routine at the moment? Do you ever give in to his entreaties ?

(Does he pick the seal off the doors from the outside or inside?)

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 07:30

V structured - 7am and 11pm. He gets a few dried biscuits if he comes home when we call him, as reinforcement (we shake the biscuits outside).

From inside. He is obsessed with going out, because he eats at the neighbours'

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cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 08:10

Ah - reward driven. That's always very useful.

Two thoughts - have you considered a cat flap? (Preferably a microchip one so that he can get out easily if he wants to during daylight hours but no-one else can get in.)

Also - you're going to have to have another chat with the neighbour. It's a difficult one because he's quite gorgeous very appealing and she's probably a complete sucker for his baby blues. (Or whatever colour they are.) I would imagine that he's getting multiple taste treats of salmon and chicken etc?

You'd have to play the hyperesthesia card I would imagine - point out that he's got serious problems with the condition and it's very bad for him to eat outside his home. Will he wear a collar that you might also put a 'Do Not Feed Me' tag on ?

Could you do that? If you could restrict his eating to mostly inside the house, then you stand a better chance of influencing his behaviour by rewards and internal foraging. It's not just for you and DP after all - it's also for him. Hyperesthesia cats need a very structured and calm existence with no stress (as I understand it) and with his behaviour at the moment it looks as if he is stressed in some way.

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 08:23

No to cat flap. We have a (cold) conservatory so we'd need one flap into that and one out the other side, and we also rent so would have to reinstate after. Would love to get him a cat flap. Hopefully will buy a house within a year.

I will get a collar and have another word. They are trying to poach him I think - he is always there! - but my suspicion is that he also steals food (the other day he came home with melted cheese all in his beard!). I think it is all part of the same thing - he has issues surrounding food and thinks he'll never get fed again (he never reserves a portion like most cats; he eats it all in ten seconds like a dog then belches )

OP posts:

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 08:26

Can anyone find a Do Not Feed cat collar without a safety buckle? I know they should have them but he just pulls them til they ping otherwise and I end up going through one a day!

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Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 08:27

instagram.com/p/jJ6VZUG3st/

Here is your Benjamin-a-day

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cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 08:30

Wonderful - but have you had him vetted/weighed recently? I'm only seeing him from one angle in that pic but he looks (on the face of it) just a tad........full-figured.

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 08:34

Oh he's massive!! When we got him he was 5.5kg, which was too skinny for him (he is very long and tall). Then he ballooned to 9kg (I over fed him as I felt sorry for him/didn't know what I was doing). We dieted him to 6.7kg, then he met my neighbours (who call him Pudding ) and he is 7.5 again.

He has two pouches a day with a few biscuits occasionally. He SHOULD lose weight on that.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 08:42

He should - but unfortunately not if he's being given macaroni cheese with a chicken chaser over at the neighbours!

If he's got food issues, then I think your aim should be in the first instance to get him into the habit of eating most of his nosh at your house rather than raiding next door.

Maybe print out \link{http://www.icatcare.org/advice-centre/cat-health/obesity-cats\this} and give her a copy along with a few stern words about hyperesthesia? It's a real problem because so many people are over-indulgent with animals and it's really not good for them.

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 08:45

Mmm. The problem is, I don't think it's just her! He often smells of cigarettes and she doesn't smoke. He is a scavenger - my friend cat sat him a few weeks ago and ordered pizza and he opened the box and ate the crusts when she'd gone

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 08:57

Tackle what you're able to first - and see if you can get a 'No Feed' collar. (Other posters may be able to recommend there.)

Interestingly, some quick research suggests that fleas and obesity are potentially strong contributory factors to FHS. (Didn't he have bad fleas before you got him?) Forgive that I don't have time at the moment to do any in-depth work on that (one of the vets who post might advise) but if true, it would certainly strengthen your case in dealing with the problem neighbour you know about ?

By the way, when I advised to get him into the habit of eating most of his food at your house, this may ('may') mean slightly upping his rations at home for a short time if you have to compensate for him not getting his twenty four squares elsewhere. You would be aiming to change behaviour and doing everything in one fell swoop might be too much for him when viewed along with his various issues.

(I wouldn't worry about any hunting if he's that way inclined. So few stalks end in a substantial kill that his energy balance would be pretty even from that if he started doing it.)

MrsCripps · 25/04/2014 09:19

Def get a do not feed me collar and speak to your neighbours.

Have you tried a diet catfood ?- several brands of good dried food ( James Welbeloved Light , Hills Light) available and they also fill them up much more.
It really settled my greedy, overweight cat- he doesn't beg so much .

cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 10:01

PS - I'm afraid that you're likely in for a long haul on this one - but he's only a young cat so well worthwhile.

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 11:17

Have ordered no feed collar

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 11:18

Well done. Hope it wasn't too expensive.

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 19:09

How do I discipline this? instagram.com/p/nOOptPG3uu/

OP posts:

OriginofSymmetry · 25/04/2014 19:22

My tuppence worth is that a cat flap could help. I know that you've said you can't get one at the moment but I'm wondering if him not having free access into and out of the house if making him more clingy and demanding when he's inside? Does he claw at the patio door when he wants in/out? He's clearly a cat who has your household wrapped around his little claw .

cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 19:32

He's developed a 'thing' is what it is - cats can get into bad routines as well as beneficial ones so it's a question of breaking the old one in as kind and positive a way as possible and substituting a new one which suits you all.

You''ll have made a good start if you can amend his eating patterns somehow and maybe reduce his weight. It could be a long haul though. (That's why I queried whether you and DP were really up for it - you won't necessarily see changes overnight and even if you do see some, there might well be bad lapses. They're ever wont to pop paws over the line to test a rule.)

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 20:03

I have tried moving his paws onto scratch post when he does that, and putting him in his favourite spot in living room. If I feel him when he scratches at door he will balloon even more !

Cat flap is sadly non negotiable. We rent off my DP's sister and she has put an absolute prohibition on it. Plus we'd need two, etc. I do feel bad though. Would love to let him have the run of it - though I don't think he'd come home?! He's always at the bloody neighbours' and only comes home when we text them and tell them to put him outside and then we rattle his treats. They swore they had stopped feeding him but he is completely obsessed with going there so I don't believe them.

OP posts:

Original poster

BigPawsBrown · 25/04/2014 20:07

Feed*!

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 25/04/2014 20:15

I wouldn't believe them either. Darned difficult to resist a wheedling cat.

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