Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Cat interrupting us...

81 replies

BigPawsBrown · 18/04/2014 17:18

Our rescue cat Benjamin is very lovely but very friendly and forceful and large. He was 4 when we got him and is 6 now and I think whatever problems he had when rescued will be with him for life as he has issues surrounding food and love, is very needy and freaks out when we go upstairs at night even though he eventually follows.

Our house is open pan and so there is no door between the downstairs and upstairs. The only rooms downstairs with doors are the kitchen (TINY, not even big enough for his litter tray), downstairs toilet (tiny) and living room. We don't really want to keep his litter in the living room, and as such he has never been shut in a room downstairs overnight.

For the first few weeks of having him we didn't let him sleep in the bedroom with us. He ripped up the carpet, scratched at the door all night and took run ups to try and knock down the door. We therefore relented and he's slept with us ever since.

However, DP and I would like to having some 'us' time in the bedroom with the bloody cat! We naturally have sex before we go to sleep and so Benjamin is in by then (no cat flap, he comes in for his dinner at about 11pm or whenever the fuck he likes and if we have sex and shut him out of the room we are treated to wailing and door barging, if he's in the room with us he tries to sit on us. [embarrassed]

It's actually a real problem that is upsetting us. Is there anything we can do?!

PS. I know he's massively obese. We're working on it...

Cat interrupting us...
Cat interrupting us...
OP posts:
Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 19/04/2014 00:21

He is out a lot Ashe has a fixation with one of the neighbours - she feeds him despite our pleas for her not to and he sits all day on her swing thing and on HER neighbour's shed (who has a cat of their own, so he's being a bit of a dick in cat land).

Inside he has a catnip bird that he loves and we throw catnip mice for him. He has a huge scratch post which he likes to pull over and a purple snake which he chases. However all games are taken very seriously and after about ten seconds he runs off and hides in his little igloo and shakes Hmm

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 19/04/2014 00:24

Shakes inside his igloo?

Do you know any of his history before he came to you?

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 19/04/2014 00:27

He just takes playing v seriously and goes and hides. He's not playing really, he's killing.

No - he lived with an elderly man but he was infested with fleas so the man said he was a stray when asked by RSPCA, they think. He has feline hyperaesthesia (rolling skin) and is often agitated by that.

He also loses it completely when we feed him and go to bed, and howls at the bottom of the stairs (not meowing, really howling) until we call him/he remembers where we've gone.

He eats all of his food 100% immediately and never ever ever leaves any.

He is not very cat like.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 19/04/2014 00:50

Blimey - feline hyperesthesia. That's not one I know overmuch about - but then it's not a well understood condition generally I think. Has he had any work ups/treatment for it?

By the way - how does he get on with the neighbour's cat?

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 19/04/2014 00:54

No, we do gentle brushing and try to keep him to a routine, deflea him so he never scratches. His skin is ok, and he only gets the joint pain after his annual boosters, which he has morphine for and sleeps off (v sad though as he can't walk after them and am considering not bothering with them as we have friends feed him rather than catteries...)

I'm not sure, but he's very dominant. He has scratches on him sometimes but we used to have cats in the garden until we got him and now we have none. His territory is about a mile - I put a gps thing on him that I won and looked where he went

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 19/04/2014 01:01

Blighter. Let me sleep on it.

Ekatea · 19/04/2014 01:25

Omg this is a cat? Making a bit of a big deal?

RubbishMantra · 19/04/2014 16:45

I love his slightly haughty expression!Grin You could try tiring him out before bed-time? I just bought mine a laser pointer and he thinks it's the best thing EVER! He yowls sadly when it gets switched off, then prances about poking his paws into everything in an attempt to find it. He seems to love it almost as much as Dreamies.

LastingLight · 19/04/2014 17:09

He is beautiful. I would lock him in the downstairs toilet with some toys and food for the duration of... uhm... activities. He won't come to any harm and I'm sure he will be able to wait if he needs his litter tray.

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/04/2014 17:22

Can you get one of those special bowls. They are raised in the middle and the cat has to go around the bowl to eat as they can't just stick their head in.

Would buy u some time

Tabby1963 · 19/04/2014 17:27

OP, we too have an open plan downstairs, no doors except for front and kitchen door. Our cats will not tolerate a closed bedroom door and will cry, scratch and howl for a lo-o-ong time we give up before they do. If they are in the bedroom they are real passion killers too, interfering and getting in the way, purring loudly and dribbling indiscriminately. For this reason our two tabby boys stay outside at night. Have you considered leaving your cat outside, going to bed and then letting him back in once you've 'done the deed' Grin?

Gileswithachainsaw · 19/04/2014 17:30

petnecessities.co.uk/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=430

Or something like this

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 23/04/2014 22:35

This is still very much a problem

OP posts:
timtam23 · 23/04/2014 22:54

Sorry to hear you are still having problems

The more I look at his photos, the more I wonder if he is at least part-Bengal. Would it be worth getting more of an opinion about this & following this up with someone who genuinely knows about Bengals as I think they can be quite demanding as pets and different to plain old moggies. Anything I've picked up about Bengals has been from idle Googling so I have no idea how to actually live with them or manage them although I think they are absolutely beautiful cats.

I know at least one poster on here has mentioned having Bengals or has had them in the past but I can't remember who it is...sorry...

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 23/04/2014 23:07

I am wondering this too - I had no idea you could get ginger (golden) bengals but his markings are exactly like them!

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 23/04/2014 23:08

Fluffy has one.

Sorry this is still going on, OP. I'm afraid that the hyperesthesia rather threw me so I'll have another think tonight. People may laugh but it's not really a joking matter - especially because it's indicative of the whole relationship with the cat.

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 23/04/2014 23:10

Yes there was one rude comment in particular but you've hit the nail on the head - we have a relationship with him where he simply uses force or shouting to get what he wants (he will literally stand on the coffee table and shout for his dinner for hours (If you do it long enough it WILL result in dinner!), or he will yank at the seal along the patio doors for 8 hours straight Hmm

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 23/04/2014 23:11

What discipline methods do you use? (Or have you given up?)

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 23/04/2014 23:14

We tried a water spray but he would resume the naughty thing moments after using it (xInfinity - he's lacking the "give up!" Bit of his brain). The biggest thing is his shouting which I don't want to discipline him for.

We shout too but he's not at all bothered by it. He's a strapping lad and not bothered by most loud or big things.

instagram.com/p/lM9nGgm3si/kneading

OP posts:
Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 23/04/2014 23:15

instagram.com/p/lM9nGgm3si/

Whoops, that should work. This is how needy he is. All the time!

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 23/04/2014 23:40

He's quite gorgeous.

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 24/04/2014 08:23

I do luffs him.

OP posts:
cozietoesie · 24/04/2014 08:30

What would be his reaction if you and DP were to become reomantic in another room apart from the bedroom? (Sitting room couch while watching a movie, say.)

Original poster
BigPawsBrown · 24/04/2014 08:51

If in another room he would come, eg we both go to dining room he will follow.

On couch, hmm, he is ALWAYS on my DP's knee so unsure how that would happen!

OP posts: