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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Original poster

Can we have a competitive cat stupidity thread?

104 replies

Hassled · 28/11/2011 19:48

It has taken one of mine 4.5 years to work out the house has an upstairs. She used to sit at the bottom of the stairs looking upwards sometimes with a curious look on her face, but she lacked the brains to work out how to climb the stairs. She'd watch the other cat stroll past her and just seem bewildered.

Anyway - suddenly she's mastered the skill and it's like she has a whole new playground. She is one happy cat.

Are there stupider cats out there?

OP posts:
candytuft63 · 29/11/2011 12:15

Love this thread !
One of my cats thinks that if her front paws are in the litter tray the rest of her is as well. There is more paper on the bathroom floor than lino.

purplepidjin · 29/11/2011 12:27

My no-longer-with-us cat once got his head stuck in a watering can s a kitten. I had to grab him and bang on the neighbours door at 10pm to get help to get him out! I have kicked myself ever since for not getting a photo - once he was being cuddled he was completely calm Grin

DP had to rescue the same cat, now a full grown adult, from the bin. He climbed in after leftover chicken and the lid flapped back Grin (we swiftly found a cupboard for the bin)

If he hadn't been so stupid around a car, he'd be a PAT cat by now Sad

Lizcat · 29/11/2011 13:54

Sunday night Arrogant Posh Boy cat tried to experiment with fire coming from the Hob - I managed to prevent him discovering that fire burns.

stinkyfluffycat · 29/11/2011 14:30

My cat is so stupid he doesn't know where his arse is. He stands with all four paws in the tray, arse hanging over the edge and craps on the floor. Then he gets out of the tray and 'covers' the turn with thin air (after having carefully dug a hole in the cat litter).
However, he has FINALLY learned to use the catflap after only three years, so in another three years or so he may learn to crap outside like a normal cat.

He is also frequently seen obviously trying to unsuccessfully squeeze out a thought.

stinkyfluffycat · 29/11/2011 14:31

TURD, not turn!

kreechergotstuckupthechimney · 29/11/2011 15:30

I've got two cats. Brothers, one grey one ginger.
Ginger is thick and loving, grey is clever, cunning and snooty. I had a cat flap put into the shed for when I'm not here.
Me and DD spent hours training them how to use it with bribery.
I saw grey pushing ginge to open the flap. He was using his head so that ginger had to do the hard work.
Bastard bully boy.
We did have one cat who fell down the toilet. Not once, not twice, but three times. It was an arabic squat one, but nonetheless.
He ended up being called Tim Nice but Dim. Or Tim for short.

SecretNutellaFix · 29/11/2011 15:42

I'm laughing at your shittens, kreecher.

whomovedmychocolate · 29/11/2011 15:53

(now dead) cat used to sleep IN the microwave if the door was left open. Ditto the tumble drier and washing machine. Also for a short while we had an unplumbed loo in the garden, she curled up in that too - scared the shit out of the plumber when she leapt out.

nursenic · 29/11/2011 15:56

my newly adopted stray sits and stalks the quivering guitar strings wound around the pegs as my DH plays. He quivers more than they do.

nursenic · 29/11/2011 16:00

Laughing at memory of my dog who used to check both doors to see if it was not raining outside one of them. Just like the Candytufts cat!

NorkyPies · 29/11/2011 16:14

Not always as stupid as it looks. My cat seemed to regularly forget how to use the cat door. trying to pull it open instead of pushing through it. Then I realised (esp after I got some ferrets in the garden) that she was using the noise made by the repeated pulling to flush out any possible predators before venturing into the garden.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/11/2011 16:29

My mum has one of those Ali Baba jar-shaped laundry baskets, which she keeps in the bathroom. My cat used to get into the basket to sleep, because the laundry was so nice and soft. Usually she knocked the lid off when she was getting in, so we knew she was in there, but once she managed to get in, and the lid fell back onto the basket. A bit later on, a visitor went to use the loo, and was mid-wee when she looked over at the washing basket, and saw the lid mysteriously rising, and a pair of green eyes gazing out at her. It put her off a bit!Grin

Jacksmania · 01/12/2011 02:57

Please don't let this thread die, it's funnier than anything! :)

kickassangel · 01/12/2011 04:25

we've just adopted a stray (cat 2). he likes to hide under a side table, and attack cat 1 as cat 1 walks away from the food bowl.

cat 1 has taken a month to learn to look for him first, not just saunter out & get attacked.

cat 1 can make his way upstairs, then seems to forget how he got there & sits wailing at us to get him down. he knows how to get down to the basement, so I have no idea why this confuses him.

cat 1 likes a shower every morning - and every morning he forgets that me getting in will turn it from the sprinkle to one big gush of water, and acts all upset as he gets a good soaking.

cat 2 is, comparatively, bright.

Jacksmania · 01/12/2011 04:46

As I mentioned above, my cat once fell in the bath while I was in it. The reason for this is that she was sat on the edge of the tub, while I soaked in miles of bubbles. She then attempted to walk on the bubbles Znd sauntered right off the edge.

Her landing on me and frantically attempting to lever herself out again was approximately as much fun as shoving my thighs into a mixmaster.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/12/2011 07:44

Ooouuuuuuch, Jacksmania! Shock

kreechergotstuckupthechimney · 01/12/2011 08:44

Our shittens discovered a pond we never knew we had. The first day we had them, one got out and raced around the garden like a loon.
Me and DD were terrified he would leap over a fence Hmm and disappear. We were all chasing him around the garden like a Benny Hill sketch.
He went around the side of the shed where the washing up bowl sized pond is.
He tried to run on pond weed. He failed.

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 01/12/2011 09:53

one of my old cats used to climb up anything, we found him stuck half way up the outside of the house one day like one of those garfields you used to see on car windows, my dad had to get the ladder out to rescue him. He also used to climb the horrible anaglypta behind the kitchen door, my mum was less than impressed, especially as his favourite sleeping place was the bathroom sink and you'd have to shoo him out everytime you wanted to ues it.

ISaw3ShipsCatsComeSailingIn · 01/12/2011 11:40

The moment of cat stupidity that sticks in my mind the most and still makes me laugh was when Cat1 tried to run through the closed baby gate to escape a toddler. He had done this successfully many times before, as the gaps at the sides were wide enough for him to fit through. This time, he discovered that the gaps in the middle of the gate were not!
Luckily for the cat, the toddler was so distracted by my hysterical laughter that he was able to retreat to higher ground and recover his composure Smile
Both cats spend ages in the garden sitting on the fence posts, which are about a foot higher than the fence top and about 10cm square. They haven't fallen off yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter fo time Grin

purplepidjin · 01/12/2011 12:43

My cat's so stupid she eats rabbit-flavoured cat food...

Even though her best mate is a house bunny...

I know, I know, we shouldn't have bought rabbit flavoured food but it was cheap nice branded stuff in the pound shop and the only flavour they had!

Confuzzeled · 01/12/2011 14:56

My cat, a least once a week tries to jump onto my lap from under the coffee table. It used to be funny, now I'm worried she has some kind of brain damage.

purplepidjin · 01/12/2011 17:49

Cat is curretnly asleep in the radiator bed

She has spent the last few days scratching the fabric at the back away from the radiator

It has created a pocket in which she has hidden her head Hmm

I will attempt to put a pic on my profile

TooManyBlossoms · 01/12/2011 18:00

My cat, as most do, likes to sleep in warm places. Such as a car engine, for example. My cat also has no tail. Caused by sleeping in a car engine Hmm

Jacksmania · 02/12/2011 00:01

Shock Oh dear :o I'm not sure I want to know exactly how the cat became tail-less.

TooManyBlossoms · 02/12/2011 10:29

Jacksmania in a nutshell:

BANG BANG BANG

'oh look, there's Maisy running off, that noise must have scared her, wonder what it was'

Drive down the road, car dies. AA man opens the bonnet, sees chunks of cat, pukes. No sign of cat, AA man says there's no way she'll have survived. Assume she's run off to die Sad

A week later: Cat appears at back door, with a bloody stump where her tail was. Rush her to emergency vet, pay £400 to have rest of tail amputated.

And that's the sorry story of how Maisy lost her tail. I'm pleased to report that she's suffered no lasting ill effects (apart from the constant teasing - 'Maisy, where's your tail?'). And she still sleeps in car engines Hmm.